Reviews for So that the world might be mended
Caimthehero chapter 27 . 8/8/2014
BAAAAATTTTTLLLLLEEEEEEE ROYAAAAAALLLLLLEEEEEEE! In this corner we have a wizard that was so crazy he let his apprentice die for him and proceeded to experiment on his soul. I give you theeeee Freak! In another corner is the girl who only wishes she was in the story of Faust . It's the demon, Mephistopheles! Finally we have a victim of retrograde amnesia with a liking for oxymorons. I give you Nameless!
en extase chapter 1 . 7/12/2014
You write really well. I'm enjoying it so far, I particularly liked the champion's disturbed reaction to the Maiden in Black. You wrote a great first impression of her.
XcelltasticX chapter 26 . 6/8/2014
Quite funny, isnt it? Last review I complained about the little discussable content and now Im bombarded with options and ideas. Well better now than later. This is XcelltasticX, welcome to todays review of "So that the world might be mended".

While we are on the topic of shameless entrances lets get to the first point. The fight between the remnants of the Souls Society and the two knights. It was really fluid, something I dont see so often nowadays, realistic, paced well. The sudden morality struggle of Ostrava came as a surprise but felt so right for his character; quite an appropriate way to finish the encounter. Now that they are on the way toward the castle one can only be grateful for the demise of the false King before a little someone could come up with the idea of a confrontation. But one questions remains nonetheless. Will Ostrava commit suicide like he did in the game? I dont particularly care which ending as long as it is as good as your previous work.

Nice to see Freke is still alive. "Nice" as in the sense of hoping to see him choking on his guts later on. Never liked him to begin with, a feeling which only intensified with his transformation into the next archdemon. Honestly, I had a slight feeling the Champions soul would end up with Freke in a far-fetched scenario. But now I have a good transition so lets move on.

Sir Thomas. A name so branded with averageness its pretty funny compared to the situations this average person experienced. Though I think it was quite a cliche ending once he got his memories back, nicely fitting for sure but still cliche. Well, lets move on before get stuck. The MIBs confession came full-circle with the romantic fluff in the beginning of this story and showed how these two characters experienced their conflict, loss, love, fear, depression, jealousy etc. Thats the kind of shit that makes me feel all fuzzy inside so thanks for that. We even got a kiss! Anyone betting it will get heavy between the two? Considering the fact he lost his respawn-power we have enough tension built up to last us for the upcoming battles and, hopefully, leading towards a nice conclusion. One which isnt made out of a Happy-Ever-After I presume? Well, all guessing from here, really. But this is a Souls Game we are talking about. What if...what if Thomas dies, due to whatever reason (betrayal or torture are my favs, for reference go check out The Eclipse of Berserk), the Maiden in Black loses herself and opens the can of whoop-ass on the unlucky cretin who happened to be in the way and in, a ironic tragedy, he happens to be alive and witnesses her in Beast-mode and then we have Drama. Damn. That could actually be good. I will wait and see for myself. Until next time!

Sincerely, XcelltasticX
Caimthehero chapter 26 . 6/6/2014
The glory hound as a backstory. It makes sense why someone would willingly throw themselves into that kind of danger. He vastly underestimated his opponents though. I kinda hope if Thomas does live that he will see his family one more time but I doubt that will be in the story
Transfigurator chapter 26 . 6/6/2014
You scared me with your authors note in last chapter, and I was sure we will be lefy hanging for a month or so... But a new chapter so fast after the last one? I think my eyes popped out XD

This chapter was one of the sweetest ever. Simply heartwarming in all possible ways.
Maiden starting to talk normally came out as a surprise and I was a bit disappointed. Her archaic speech was cute :P. But I can understand the meaning behind her changing her speech pattern. :)

I don't know why but after the line:
"I crossed the entire Valley of Defilement without dying once"

I imagined myself a neckbearded nerd, saying the same line and proudly adding: "On highest difficulity" and I giggled. XD

If anything good came out of Thomas losing his memories, its that he matured. And that a lonely girl found a company. :)

Good pleasant chapter. I always I'm eagerly waiting for the next one. Good luck
Varbos chapter 26 . 6/5/2014
Can't wait, but I'm almost sad to see it over. I have read and waited to see it through. Now that I will I wonder what I shall read next, I've been going through books way too fast.
Eric Soo chapter 26 . 6/5/2014
"I crossed the entire Valley of Defilement without dying once."
"This is harder.' she said."

Me: 0_0
The Night Hunter chapter 26 . 6/5/2014
I waited 26 chapter for that kiss, great work
Transfigurator chapter 25 . 6/5/2014
Mephistopheles may had the valid reasons to go all vengeful, but the more I see her the more I want her crushed by a boulder.

Maiden getting clingy to Sir Thomas is kind of cute and the fact she seems to instinctively go demonic to protect him is... Sweet in a creepy way. I whole heartedly approve XD

And why finally may get answers about Thomas' past since we got his name at last.

And then you came with cliffhanger and apparently for a longer period of time...
I already told you I'm waiting impatiently for next chapters even without cliffhangers so...

Y U DO DIS TO US? D:

Anyway, nothings changed. I still want to read next chapter as eagerly as always. Good luck.
FablePsycho chapter 25 . 6/3/2014
I just have to say...I LOVE THIS STORY. I'm glad to see that someone is still writing a fanfiction on Demons souls, and it makes me even happier to be reading a good story. Really you just rock as a writer, I hope you continue this, because if you don't, I will send black phantoms after you...no not really, I'd just get really depressed.
Caimthehero chapter 25 . 6/3/2014
Finally he gets a freaking Name! Love the update as the end slowly inches closer. I really want to hear about Sir Thomas now. For a moment I thought Nameless was going to be Doran.
Varbos chapter 25 . 6/1/2014
So long as I get some updates to this I'm fine. I waited a year for you to post more chapters, I can wait an extra week per chapter.
XcelltasticX chapter 24 . 5/30/2014
Well, guess whos back. Although youre probably used to me being late. Anyways, lets start with the elephant in the room. Your theory of the history of Boletaria is quite awesome. It sounds legit, has enough information to back it up, and actually offers a reasonable take on the Maidens history. Dont have much to say on that though. I mean, I could rant for another page on why its a good idea, why I think it works well but that would just fill the aforementioned page and not much else. You know my take on it and I guess that should suffice.

The ability to travel through time with your mind is questionable but we ARE talking about an ancient being here so all bets are off. The whole journey was interesting to say the least. Seeing Yuria again sure struck a chord, not to mention Mephistophelis past. But the last chapter hit home! The Champion braindead? Without any means of revival? You sure know how to cook tension and dont forget the dessert made of Ostravas guilt for murder, the return of the Maiden, the intrusion of the Nexus and the job of finding a new Champion. Well, there is still Freke and his transformation into the next archdemon, the Soul society is still on the run and the Monumental is in for an explanation.

I guess there will be a lot more to talk about in the coming chapter since the past ones were more focused on the world and characters. The MIB was presented far more human than she thinks herself to fact that Nameless lost his hatred towards her is a big step in and of itself considering BOTH their backgrounds. Would be interesting to see another heart to heart between any of the characters, really.

Quite short today but its all I got. Im looking forward to see the next update from you. Do keep up the great work!

Sincerely, XcelltasticX
Dante's blade chapter 24 . 5/28/2014
after the story of the maiden now i wonder if all the souls games are conected...
Transfigurator chapter 24 . 5/25/2014
Ahh another good chapter. The ending was very emotional and tense, even if killing kids is always a bit bitter. But then, those kids were pretty much rised to kill other people. All in all it's pretty sad.

Maiden's backstory was actually pretty easy to guess but still it was good that it has been spelled out. Still its hard to actually call her a demon since her body is merely a prision for it so she herself can't be called a demon, but I can understand the concern of where her mind ends and demon's starts, like mortals corrupted by soulstone in Diablo series.

But, meh I was always a fan of reigning the curse or darknes that has been put at you and using it for something good, instead of sitting on your ass and moping. Kinda like Ghost Rider or Soma Cruz used their curse :P

Also that unmentionable person that Maiden promised to not use the power feels like a bit of a plot device and a cop out, but I guess I have to let it slip.

I'm also curious what happened with the Nameless. Maiden seems really woried now since he seems to become vegetable, not physicaly dead, lights are on in the house, but no one's there :P

And I can't exactly figure out on what level Maiden is actually worried about him. On personal level or duty level since he is the weapon they have against the Old One. Her comment about previous and future Champions suggest that it may be the latter... And it gives me some evil pleasure seeing as complex plans involving sacrificial pieces, gets a set of wrenchess tossed in gears :P

All in all, as always I'm waiting for the next chapter :)
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