Reviews for So that the world might be mended
The.Cypher808 chapter 30 . 8/20/2014
Heyo! Wow its been a long journey but its almost over aha. I really have enjoyed reading your story and I gotta say it puts the lore of Demon's Souls into a whole different perspective for me, I think I might give writing a fanfic about the game a try. But besides that chapter 30 was really intense but it was awesome I really enjoyed the moment when nameless cracked the augite and all the souls of the cast came out to help nameless one last time it was a really touching moment for myself. Im excited for the last chapter and I know its gonna be an awesome conclusion to the story, great work once more!

Praise the Sun!

Sashiel chapter 29 . 8/19/2014
Man! You saved Ostrava! That's a fantastic turn of events!

I meant to post sooner but I forgot my account's password (luckyly I had an epiphany and remembered it). I LOVE what you have done with the plot, this story is pretty epic and well composed I'm almost inches from printing it and put it in a hard cover along side my copy of Demon's Souls. You rock dude! I hope to read the end of this magnificent work impaciently and continue to enjoy your writing in the future!

The Night Hunter chapter 29 . 8/19/2014
Hell I'm getting so excited for the grand finale!
XcelltasticX chapter 28 . 8/11/2014
Two chapters in such quick succession?! What did we do to deserve that?

I like the depth you gave the False King. In the game they sort of imply some form of sentient demon though not many people seem to think that way. The same goes for the Old One who might just be more than driven by hunger alone. This creates something special. What it is I cannot tell. It was odd and uncomfortable the first time around but it grows on me so quickly that Im always pleasantly surprised every time it happens. Dont get me wrong; I like it very much, its just something special.

The fight scene of Her Champion, Mephistopheles and Freke was a little hazy at times though overall very fluid. Her last stand with a tar bomb was unexpected and quite fitting for her character.

I swear that these cliff hangers are going to be the death of me. Well, the delivered a pretty good set up for the next chapter. The Old One said in the previous chapter there would be two challengers facing the False King. We know it will probably boil down to Ostrava and Nameless but will Ostravas end be like the one in canon? He will be alone for a good while until Nameless shows up; long enough to commit suicide though? I guess we will see. If he survives we might just see a different ending altogether. Ill just have to wait and see. Until then.

Sincerely, XcelltasticX
XcelltasticX chapter 27 . 8/9/2014
WE ARE BACK ON TRACK! Man, have I waited long for this. Glad to see you successfully finished your spider story. Do you mind giving me the link one more time? I checked it out in the beginning but was left hanging because there was only on chapter at that time and then, well, I kinda forgot that I wanted to come back to it. Sorry bout that:/

Anyways, Im here to drop a review and maybe a sick beat while Im at it. The chapter started out quite nicely and the shift in characters was fluid. Though I have to voice my confusion. In prior chapters, if memory serves that is, it is said that Nameless had already defeated the False King so Im left wondering whats going on. Please correct immediately if anything I say is false.
I like the fact that you take some artistic liberty to simply state that the corpse is Vallerfax. I never played the game myself and if I remember correctly its never clearly stated if he actually. Though Im walking on very thin ice since I actually have no idea. Ill pick up a PS3 later this year so maybe I should just wait with plot commentary until I have found my own answers.
Freke really went downhill. I admit I didnt expect to see him fall so far. Well, just proves that humans shouldnt aim to become something bigger than themselves. Hubris has felled many great kings after all.
Didnt you mention that you wanted to use more cliffhangers? Guess we will be seeing a lot of those in the future then. Im not complaining; glad to be kept on my toes.
I dont have that much to say, really. Kind of sad cause I thought Id greet you with a bang and not with a whimper. Then again, I can always wait for future chapters to start a giant rant and have you waste those precious minutes of your life.
For now, its good to have you back. Enjoy your stay and if you are feeling like writing more about spiders there is always Dark Souls. Kidding aside, how was it to write Anazia? Id like to see a comment from the author:)
Caimthehero chapter 27 . 8/8/2014
BAAAAATTTTTLLLLLEEEEEEE ROYAAAAAALLLLLLEEEEEEE! In this corner we have a wizard that was so crazy he let his apprentice die for him and proceeded to experiment on his soul. I give you theeeee Freak! In another corner is the girl who only wishes she was in the story of Faust . It's the demon, Mephistopheles! Finally we have a victim of retrograde amnesia with a liking for oxymorons. I give you Nameless!
en extase chapter 1 . 7/12/2014
You write really well. I'm enjoying it so far, I particularly liked the champion's disturbed reaction to the Maiden in Black. You wrote a great first impression of her.
XcelltasticX chapter 26 . 6/8/2014
Quite funny, isnt it? Last review I complained about the little discussable content and now Im bombarded with options and ideas. Well better now than later. This is XcelltasticX, welcome to todays review of "So that the world might be mended".

While we are on the topic of shameless entrances lets get to the first point. The fight between the remnants of the Souls Society and the two knights. It was really fluid, something I dont see so often nowadays, realistic, paced well. The sudden morality struggle of Ostrava came as a surprise but felt so right for his character; quite an appropriate way to finish the encounter. Now that they are on the way toward the castle one can only be grateful for the demise of the false King before a little someone could come up with the idea of a confrontation. But one questions remains nonetheless. Will Ostrava commit suicide like he did in the game? I dont particularly care which ending as long as it is as good as your previous work.

Nice to see Freke is still alive. "Nice" as in the sense of hoping to see him choking on his guts later on. Never liked him to begin with, a feeling which only intensified with his transformation into the next archdemon. Honestly, I had a slight feeling the Champions soul would end up with Freke in a far-fetched scenario. But now I have a good transition so lets move on.

Sir Thomas. A name so branded with averageness its pretty funny compared to the situations this average person experienced. Though I think it was quite a cliche ending once he got his memories back, nicely fitting for sure but still cliche. Well, lets move on before get stuck. The MIBs confession came full-circle with the romantic fluff in the beginning of this story and showed how these two characters experienced their conflict, loss, love, fear, depression, jealousy etc. Thats the kind of shit that makes me feel all fuzzy inside so thanks for that. We even got a kiss! Anyone betting it will get heavy between the two? Considering the fact he lost his respawn-power we have enough tension built up to last us for the upcoming battles and, hopefully, leading towards a nice conclusion. One which isnt made out of a Happy-Ever-After I presume? Well, all guessing from here, really. But this is a Souls Game we are talking about. What if...what if Thomas dies, due to whatever reason (betrayal or torture are my favs, for reference go check out The Eclipse of Berserk), the Maiden in Black loses herself and opens the can of whoop-ass on the unlucky cretin who happened to be in the way and in, a ironic tragedy, he happens to be alive and witnesses her in Beast-mode and then we have Drama. Damn. That could actually be good. I will wait and see for myself. Until next time!

Sincerely, XcelltasticX
Caimthehero chapter 26 . 6/6/2014
The glory hound as a backstory. It makes sense why someone would willingly throw themselves into that kind of danger. He vastly underestimated his opponents though. I kinda hope if Thomas does live that he will see his family one more time but I doubt that will be in the story
Transfigurator chapter 26 . 6/6/2014
You scared me with your authors note in last chapter, and I was sure we will be lefy hanging for a month or so... But a new chapter so fast after the last one? I think my eyes popped out XD

This chapter was one of the sweetest ever. Simply heartwarming in all possible ways.
Maiden starting to talk normally came out as a surprise and I was a bit disappointed. Her archaic speech was cute :P. But I can understand the meaning behind her changing her speech pattern. :)

I don't know why but after the line:
"I crossed the entire Valley of Defilement without dying once"

I imagined myself a neckbearded nerd, saying the same line and proudly adding: "On highest difficulity" and I giggled. XD

If anything good came out of Thomas losing his memories, its that he matured. And that a lonely girl found a company. :)

Good pleasant chapter. I always I'm eagerly waiting for the next one. Good luck
Varbos chapter 26 . 6/5/2014
Can't wait, but I'm almost sad to see it over. I have read and waited to see it through. Now that I will I wonder what I shall read next, I've been going through books way too fast.
Eric Soo chapter 26 . 6/5/2014
"I crossed the entire Valley of Defilement without dying once."
"This is harder.' she said."

Me: 0_0
The Night Hunter chapter 26 . 6/5/2014
I waited 26 chapter for that kiss, great work
Transfigurator chapter 25 . 6/5/2014
Mephistopheles may had the valid reasons to go all vengeful, but the more I see her the more I want her crushed by a boulder.

Maiden getting clingy to Sir Thomas is kind of cute and the fact she seems to instinctively go demonic to protect him is... Sweet in a creepy way. I whole heartedly approve XD

And why finally may get answers about Thomas' past since we got his name at last.

And then you came with cliffhanger and apparently for a longer period of time...
I already told you I'm waiting impatiently for next chapters even without cliffhangers so...


Anyway, nothings changed. I still want to read next chapter as eagerly as always. Good luck.
FablePsycho chapter 25 . 6/3/2014
I just have to say...I LOVE THIS STORY. I'm glad to see that someone is still writing a fanfiction on Demons souls, and it makes me even happier to be reading a good story. Really you just rock as a writer, I hope you continue this, because if you don't, I will send black phantoms after not really, I'd just get really depressed.
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