Reviews for So that the world might be mended
Delinquent author chapter 23 . 5/23/2014
whoa ... just whoa that was intense, suspenseful, and very satisfying to read and even thou it was small and even thou I really liked your backstory idea that part with the monumental was my favourite part because I never gave him any thought I never considered what he went through and to see someone with such a calm demeanor lash out was surprising so thanks for giving me that perspective on him and great job on the story!
arienne grange chapter 23 . 5/17/2014
This is the best fanfiction ive ever read. i am so pumped for whatll happen next. i hope you finish this, its really great writing, and i love the originality added to this story. i would love to see a spinoff when you finish.
- Arriene Grange
Lollaro chapter 23 . 5/17/2014
Wow... that was a truckload of backstory... and you're saying there's more?
Man you managed to make me even more hyped than before about this story.
I'd love to see what happens to Nameless and The Maiden first and Mephistopheles' attack to the Nexus later.

15000 views? Nice, that means we're shooting for 20000 now, right?
Keep up the great work!
Surreal Static Flow chapter 23 . 5/16/2014
Whoa... That was intense. This whole travel through the past has been pretty intense as well. I'm really enjoying the backstory and characterization you're presenting. Also, gald you're back. :)
Jack of Blade's Daughter chapter 23 . 5/13/2014
Mind Blown
Aku No Kokoro chapter 23 . 5/11/2014
Great chapter, I'm really amazed at your take on the lore, even more so on how you created it with the limited information the game gave you. And while I'm here, I'll say that I really like what you did with Nameless, you made him a character, even when the game, again, gave him no real personality, you gave him a reasonable one.
Transfigurator chapter 23 . 5/11/2014
Good chapter. Very interesting lore and story. Somehow I feel that humans attacking their god is partially his/its fault. Partially since while it wasn't really malevolent, it was so obove mortals, that it couldn't really comprehend and understand humans, just like you cannot comprehend the felings and mind of roach.

His meaning of gathering dead souls was to... cold. If it was presented as "the souls of the dead, return to their god to be born again" humans could probably accept this. But if it was presented that the immortal aspect of men is just a food for a dark monstrosity, humans rebelled naturally. It's really more of a tragedy than malevolence for either side.

And as everyone probably suspects, the Maiden was that demon since her reactions suggest that she is ashamed of this but also tries to get some understanding from Nameless, or at least tries to make him not disgusted with her. Either way, I had irresistible urge, to hug her XD

Very pleasing chapter. I'm impatiently waiting for the next one :D
Caimthehero chapter 23 . 5/11/2014
Wow! Mind screw but within reason for the old one which was definitely hinted upon earlier in the story. Prediction time, the maiden in black is the first demon. That is why she is the only one who can combat the old one because she was its first demon and most powerful creation.
XcelltasticX chapter 22 . 5/3/2014
Yeah! Im very glad to see this story back on track! Hope you had fun in these last six months or so. I was quite relieved to get some other Souls content cause Dark Souls II was pretty much a disappointment compared to its predecessor. Anyway, lets talk business:

Although I was never a fan of time travel and all the complications that come along I cant help myself but think that this might actually be valid here. As the maiden said if can travel through dimensions, time and space isnt much of a problem anymore. Especially when one is more powerful than the supposed god. But that brings up a big question, one which we will be discussing now. Keep in mind that I have never actually played Demons Souls, thus get my information from ENBs In-depth run. The theory presented here is, in fact, nothing but a theory/random thought so take it with a grain of salt. If memory serves, the Old One was put on earth second to man and souls. It is stronger than any human and demons with the exception of the maiden in black. The Monumental also stated the Maiden is older than the Old One. This bring up two possibilities. The first is that the Maiden is one of the first humans, maybe even the first to control the soul arts. This is proven as false since there is no evidence regarding the longevity of primal humans and the fact that she is a demon to begin with. But this thought should still be kept in mind because there is so little evidence to begin with; although I think it highly implausible. The second one is, in my eyes, somewhat more plausible. If we take in account that the Old One is the second most powerful demons in existence, that it was somehow created, that his a subtle mother/child relationship and can only be pacified by said Maiden, it leads me to the conclusion that the Maiden in Black might be the actual god that created the world. I admit that theres quite the jump in logic and, frankly, there is a pretty good chance that the answer to her background is something completely different. Nevertheless, I do believe it is something along those lines. The reason to why she is bound to the Nexus or why her powers are bound remains a mystery. One could think its for a maternal reason, maybe as a form of punishment set upon her by the first being of the universe, most likely Miyasaki himself, or for another reason altogether. For now, my biggest concern is what will be shown at the end of this jolly adventure of our two misfits. While we are on the subject, I REALLY love how you portrayed the Maiden in your entire story. She seemed always a bit out of place in the game,different speech pattern and all, so seeing her grow more attached to the player and just be more like a human in general is something I craved after the first few hours of the game. Details like her jealousy after seeing the growing affection between Juria and the Champion was small yet carried a lot of weight. Things like that make this story unique and accessible, even without former knowledge of the game. I want to say thank you for all the effort and time put into this story and I will be forwarding this chapter to one of my favorite authors(shout-out to FireBlossum). Now to the second point to address; the Mephistopheles arc or as I like to call it "Indiana Mephi and the secret lair of the Bitch in Black". I have no idea if the back-story presented here is canon or simple fiction. Due to that, Ill just be giving my thoughts on it and judge it for what it is. Personally, I dont particularly like it. Its a good enough reason for her to loathe the Soul Arts and join the Secret Society she now belongs to but I still think its quite the cliche. Maybe its because Ive seen it used one too many times or maybe it just rubs me the wrong way. It doesnt matter in the long run. Now, the oncoming clash between Mephi and Biorr and Ostrava is keeping me on my toes. Not because I have big affections to one of the aforementioned characters but because I think there might be a fight in which Nameless gets hurt or tortured possibly, maybe in the same way Yurt tried?, and a little someone, all wrapped in black, goes in the kitchen and opens a good old can of whoop-ass. But you know me; I like to ramble and think of different ways the story might go. Not to forget what happened to Freke. I dont know where you are going with this one but Im leaning to towards some, more or less, climactic boss fight of some sort. That would be interesting but Freke is pretty OP so far. Interesting, indeed. Well, I think that might be it for this review. Im quite excited for the next chapters. Keep up the great work! See ya soon.

Sincerely, XcelltasticX
SlayerOfDeads chapter 22 . 4/27/2014
its good to see you again!,i love this history,pliz continue,fast as you can :3
The.Cypher808 chapter 22 . 4/25/2014
I just started reading your story a few days ago and its pretty awesome, I'm a huge fan of Demon's Souls and reading this story makes me appreciate the game, the story, and the characters in it so much more than I originally did. With that beings said keep up the great work I'm excoted to read newer chapters in the story.

Varbos chapter 22 . 4/18/2014
Don't know what to say exept this. Loving this, can't wait for an update.
Jacob Kenny chapter 22 . 4/18/2014
Damn it why does every chapters seem so short? Anyway i can tell that you put some true efforts into crafting this story to be as exciting as they are now. Can't wait to see how all of this turn out. Please keep going!
Caimthehero chapter 22 . 4/17/2014
Damn thats one hell of a motivation for Mephistopheles
Lollaro chapter 22 . 4/15/2014
It's good to have you back man, I've been waiting for this story to continue like crazy. It's one of the best I've ever followed and the best of the Demon's Souls category (but I'm sure you already know that, if not, well... you do now ahah). Seeing Yuria during one of those rites that she regretted so much later on was a bit sad... but it's just the past now I guess. Also I feel a bit bit for Mephistopheles now, but still the Soul Society is a bit too extreme to make me really feel sorry for her. Anyway when Nameless asked the Maiden to hold his hand, that was 'awwwwwww' enough to melt through the horryfic scenes of the chapter :3

Keep it up man you re awesome! (I'm probably repeating myself here but whatever)
Cheers :D
158 | « Prev Page 1 .. 2 3 4 5 6 7 .. Last Next »