|Reviews for Uploaded|
| Lambda Cubed chapter 27 . 10/18/2014
So, being the only other C-Sec officer that we know likes getting his hands dirty, and used a sniper rifle, I'm guessing that the shooter was Garrus.
Because, you know, shooting the person you're taking before he does anything suspicious is right up his alley :P
| N7warrior93 chapter 27 . 10/14/2014
Boom headshot. Great story and great chapter it's been awhile since i read this story and ican't wait for more keep up the good work.
| HuntersEve chapter 27 . 10/13/2014
Yayayayayayay you live
| Zelandis chapter 27 . 10/12/2014
Yay, AWESOME UPDATE :D
| Catann985 chapter 25 . 3/16/2014
Just wanted to drop a quick comment. I found this story just the other day and spent a couple hours reading through the chapters. As you said you are rewriting it, I will start my review with this one. I can defiantly tell how your writing style has grown since you started this story, just by comparing the two first chapters. While you have always had a nice flow to your stories, it shows more with this chapter, and you pace the story better in my opinion. Looking forward to seeing how else you adjust and adapt your story.
P.S. If your still looking for OCs, I have two for you.
Name: Suvaris Indarys - hacker, spy, thief, can fight but prefers not to.
Name: Rivka Indarys - technological engineer, both combat and research
Appearance: Slender build of a gymnast, Suvaris stands around 5'3''. her scales are a light green with the accent scales around her face and scalp a warm gold color that compliments her eyes of the same color. (no breasts please, not a mammal) Rivka has the same color scales, except that her accent scales are a dark, almost burgundy, red color instead of gold. Her eyes are a dark green.
Bio: Born on the hannar homeworld, Sabine along with her twin sister Rivka, spent the first part of her life in service to the hannar. But unlike most of the drell on Khaje, the twins never agreed with the idea that they were basically indentured servants to the hannar. When the hannar tried to get the twins to join the ranks of the drell assassins and infiltrators,(at age 14), the girls jumps on the first transport they could sneak on hoping to made their way to the citadel. While on the freighter, they were found by one of the engineers and he was nice enough not to boot them off the ship and out the airlock. Instead he started their training in hacking and engineering. Rivka found that she liked creating new things out of the old and was soon tinkering with ever bit of tech she could get her hands on. Suvaris decided she liked being able to get into places she really should be, without ever leaving the cargo hold of the freighter, and thus began her career as a world class hacker.
They stayed on the freighter, the captain of which was a smuggler, until the age of 21 when they struck out on their own. They are well know in the underworld as the ones you go to if you want something found, or destroyed, without it being traced back to you. They are careful about who they work for, and while they are happy to avoid firefights, they are also more than capable of taking care of themselves. As to their current location, that is unknown at this time.
Well I hope you like Suvaris and Rivka. And good luck with your story.
| SigmaPsiSin chapter 25 . 3/16/2014
Can't wait for the next chapter. The prolouge seems to go much smoother in the new phase.
| ITman496 chapter 25 . 3/15/2014
Wow, definitely an improvement!
I do like how Grayson is a bit more.. observant as opposed to talking as he thinks? I'm not sure how to say it. Like even in the first bit, where he just eyes the machine skeptically instead of going 'riiiight' idk, seems to suit him better?
I also like how you handled his sudden appearance better. How he's reacting to the Turians, how he has an excuse, amnesia, car accident, etc. It works much smoother now.
I dunno, overall if the story has this style from now on it'll definitely be a great improvement. Keep it up )
| Zelandis chapter 25 . 3/15/2014
Loved it, I do think there's a pretty big improvement over the first one, but that just might be my excitement speaking ;) I'd send in an OC, but as it turns out, I'm not very imaginative.
| Zelandis chapter 24 . 3/14/2014
Thanks for the update. I liked the story, but I also like the idea of a rewrite.
I'll stick with it!
| The Crystal Knight chapter 24 . 3/14/2014
I've invested a character into this, guess I'll stick around a while longer. No point in not seeing it come into fruition.
| Doombug chapter 4 . 1/2/2014
if you want this story to "make sense" I hope he has to romantic interest why in gods name or whatever the hell Grayson believes in would he be interested in have a romance with a computer program is he crazy/delusional/a Japanese otaku? Since he isn't actually in a real world any kind of romance or friendship or bonding would be pointless since none of this real and he is only trying to escape not actually play/enjoy the game. If anything Grayson should end up being the most uncaring unfeeling crazy son of a bitch in the universe
| Doombug chapter 3 . 1/2/2014
why would he even need a fake ID? he is on Illium why not just bribe someone to get a real id?
| Doombug chapter 2 . 1/2/2014
Why wouldn't the program play the game its self since it can't die or be hurt being a program. Not to mention why would his "friend" make a game console/program that can kill the user also how could it kill him it has no real way of causing him damage in the real world, I could see his experiance driving him insane but killing him I highly doubt it. If Grayson lives and gets out he should beat his piece of shit friend within an inch of his life and sue the crap out of him
| Doombug chapter 1 . 1/2/2014
ummm I gonna keep reading this anyway, but really this is such bullshit, why wouldn't his friend simply cut off the power in the real world? It'd make more "crazy" sense for him to be some how in another dimension then stuck hooked up to a video game console, not to mention a video game console he'd spend three years connected to unable to eat or sleep or go to the bathroom he'd be dead in less than a month. Not even to mention how is friend would of foresaw this happening and program a guy to talk to him about all this shit, and if his friend could program that why not hack the game and load a save right before the lame ass star child or make him invincible
| MRG101 chapter 23 . 12/31/2013
Loving this story and the characters. Keep up