|Reviews for Second Time Unlucky|
| Radio Free Death chapter 1 . 1/10
First of all, the prologue did a good job of hooking the reader, and it didn't just stand by itself (well, more like popping up above the first chapter). There's a repetition error as Ludovic hits the ground, and then hits his head again after he's hit the ground.
You don't need to mark whose POV it is, nor the characters age, as it should be clear in the narration.
The opening is pretty much like the book, as the author notes has warned, but the thing is starting the chapter with a character waking up is cliche, and sticking in that its reaping day doesn't make it better.
Regardless, the story flows well. It's a bit unclear about the volunteering system, as Four is supposedly also a trained district, but it seems that the kids there just volunteer on a whim, and normally would just let whoever is reaped take the fall as opposed to a trained kid taking their place. I see that the story later on tries to explain that careers still lose, so Four has a system of stepping in for the disabled and twelve-year-old kids. Nice to acknowledge that even with training, trained kids still die (especially if only one can make it back so even if all careers from the three districts make it to the finals, it still comes down to luck and skill). Finnick's games sound interesting, though if he's trained, surely he has the ability to improvise instead of using his sleeping bag. For starters, if he's in the woods, he has plenty of things to use as weapons (fashion a spear from a stick is one example, as is tearing strips of clothing and wrapping it around a rock to make a sling another).
[bow and arrow] - well, actually, it's the arrows the kid is throwing, not the bow. So be careful of that.
Hand-to-hand combat and Finnick reverts to ripping the arrow out of him and jabbing it in the kid's eye. Yikes. Personally if he's that good, I would've expected him to snap the kid's neck or something, because Finnick could've easily have bled out or made his wound worse, but desperate times.
[Yes, he had been brutal, and yes, what he had done was horrific, but I didn't care] - Oh, Ludovic, and you were doing so well in the stable department. He ultimately reverts to a weird cat-and-mouse game over where his loyalties lie, cursing the Captiol and the Games while at the same time shrugging the deaths in the arena if it's not the person you know, as well as already deciding to play the game and delving into a us-or-them mindset.
A good read, honest! There were a lot of nice details and characterization is nice. Hope you don't mind my review came a year or so too late.
| Flintlightning chapter 22 . 8/24/2013
I already knew that Ludo was gonna since I have read your victor but it still didn't make the story any less exciting.
Sophia: I'm gonna miss her she might've been my favorite character in the story other then Ludo. Her death was the saddest for me personally.
Pearl: She was never my favorite career but I did like her more then Remora.
Robin: Out of all the careers I respected him the most. He was never afraid to do the right thing. He started to annoy me though once it got to around the final. But I think it was just the stress of the arena was starting to get to him. Overall though he was a good character.
Remora: Out all the careers she stood out the least to me. She was just an average career that was at good killing. I felt that Pearl was atleast known for being annoying, lazy, and complaining. The only time I ever noticed her was she smiled and thanked Ludo. But to be fair she and Ludo never had much of a relationship. All the other careers Ludo either liked or hated.
Cato: Poor Cato, I won't say I liked him but I did understand him. Quintus and Sextus were never villians it was just that being a trained killer was all they knew. I liked how you showed a different side of him before the arena.
| Flintlightning chapter 17 . 8/23/2013
I don't understand why they didn't just slit Cato's throat in his sleep.
| Flintlightning chapter 14 . 8/23/2013
This is getting interesting I doubt that when the careers split that it's gonna end peacefully. So Sophia is peeta aunt how ironic that she says peeta could never win a game.
| Flintlightning chapter 11 . 8/23/2013
I hadn't planned on reviewing until I finished the story. But I couldn't help myself Sophia once I found out that Sophia was a Mellark. I wonder now how she's related to Peeta. I'm assuming either she's a older sister or cousin.
| Guest chapter 21 . 7/29/2013
this story is amazing. it really deserves more attention. you have done a great job of making me feel so emotionally attached to characters in such a short time. some deaths even had me crying. wonderful job!
| GreenDay9 chapter 27 . 7/27/2013
So hooked on your writing, keep going strong!
A huge fan
| DistrictHufflepuff chapter 27 . 7/27/2013
Just read all 27 chapters of this story and I loved it all! Every character was unique and interesting and so was the arena! Sophie was probably my favourite and I really liked how she was related to peeta. Ludo and Finnick's bond as well was really nice to see :)
| MJElliot chapter 27 . 5/27/2013
it's a nice touch-Ludo mentoring Finnick again for the Quell.
it was really great story to read.
| MJElliot chapter 24 . 5/27/2013
wow, AMadeus seems so normal...for a Cato
| MJElliot chapter 22 . 5/27/2013
i like Ludo because he see behind the masks the tributes wear in t the games. not many people can have such compassion for the one who killed his friends and the girl he loves. that's why he deserves to be victor...but won't the capitol try to hurt hiafter what he said?it seemed sort of rebelious...
| MJElliot chapter 19 . 5/27/2013
this was a very sad chapter :( i liked Sophia...bit it's better she goes like this than killed by some other tribute.
but i have a question regarding her age- aren't eighteen year olds supposed to not be in the reapings?
| MJElliot chapter 17 . 5/27/2013
now that's what i call a cliffhanger
| MJElliot chapter 15 . 5/26/2013
this was very touching-well written :)
| MJElliot chapter 14 . 5/26/2013
i didn't realise it was so close to Peeta's games! me and my math...really good chapter! I like that we get to know more about the characters, especially Sophia, who caught my attention a few chapters back