Reviews for Second Time Unlucky
writinginpen chapter 11 . 4/14/2013
Well eight tributes dead, seems like an average bloodbath toll.

I like the dialogue between Sophia and Maddie after their scuffle. It seems ironic at how their intentions change so quickly. One minute they're trying to kill each other, the next they're laughing and talking about surnames.

These Cliff Hangers are killing me...

Another Amazing Chapter!
writinginpen chapter 10 . 4/14/2013
The games are here! Finally!

Ludo better watch out for Pearl and Remora, especially Remora.

You left us off on a Cliffhanger...dang it!

I really enjoyed this chapter, but I'm having trouble understanding Bella. She's Ludo's sister right? And she's a stylist or something in the Capital?
writinginpen chapter 9 . 4/14/2013
I enjoyed reading the interview, I really like how it flowed, and I also enjoyed your question choice.

I really wished you would've given us more description or detail on the other tributes interviews.

Your writing continues to impress me, keep up the good work!
writinginpen chapter 8 . 4/14/2013
An eight...look out! Looks like Ludo is a worthy contender after all! I'm getting curious about this boy from 9. I'm thinking he's going to kill a Career, more preferably one of the girls from 1 or 2.
writinginpen chapter 7 . 4/14/2013
I like how you made the girls in the Career pack the arrogant ones, because usually its the boys that get labeled with that title. I'm eager to see how the Alliance pans out once the Games begin.

Next Chapter, Let's see how Ludo scores!
writinginpen chapter 6 . 4/13/2013
I really liked that Maddie and Ludo are having conversations now. They don't seem so distant anymore, maybe they will alliance after all, but who knows!

The whole garden scene on the roof, I found it a little cliché, maybe changing the setting will make it more of an original. (Just a suggestion)

Your story is really good, and very detailed. I can't wait to read Chapter 7!
writinginpen chapter 5 . 4/13/2013
I like that he might align with the boy from 1 and maybe the boy from 2. I also noticed that Maddie and him were a little bit more relaxed this chapter.

I also think its unique that you have a brother and sister from 7 in it. Unfortunately,it will be sad when they both die. Also thanks for giving Blight's year, in my story I was clueless as to what year he won, so thanks for giving that!

My only critique is that I wished you would've described some of the other tributes costumes.

Great chapter though! To be self edited this is really good!
writinginpen chapter 4 . 4/13/2013
Another amazing chapter. I'm starting to wonder what his strategy will be for the games. At first I thought he would be a Career, now I'm unsure.

I like is stylist, she seems really cool and down to earth. I also like the fact that's she's simple when it comes to her look.
writinginpen chapter 3 . 4/13/2013
I loved the chapter! I'm really enjoying your book, this is going to be interesting.

Sadly, I wish you would've talked more about the Careers, haha.

I really like that Maddie doesn't see him as a threat, it kind of shows that he may be perceived as the underdog of the Careers.
writinginpen chapter 2 . 4/11/2013
Alright, I noticed that you like the details! haha which is a good thing. I would suggest, watching out for getting to caught up in the details, because sometimes it may be too much for the reader to comprehend. I really like the story your building though, keep that up. I especially like how his parents are the ones who are encouraging, because in many stories its the tributes who are the ones encouraging. Keep up the good work!
writinginpen chapter 1 . 4/10/2013
Wow! Dude this is really good. I wasn't expecting him to be best friends with Finnick, or for Finnick to have saved hin in the 65th games.

I will definetely be reading more.

One thing though you said that Mags was the first Victor from 4, but in your one shot,you have a male from 4 win the 1st Hunger Games.
kashew klick chapter 27 . 4/2/2013
This story is EPIC!
Vykktor chapter 27 . 2/15/2013
An excellent story overall. I loved it from start to finish, and I cannot wait to start reading the sequel.
Vykktor chapter 24 . 2/15/2013
Maybe that's why Mags lost herself; somebody probably convinced her to take a dozen shots and by the the the 76th rolled around, well, you know.
Vykktor chapter 23 . 2/15/2013
I hate khakis too, Ludo, don't worry. You aren't the only one.
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