|Reviews for Ice|
| bbraeluver22 chapter 1 . 10/5/2013
| Guest chapter 1 . 9/18/2013
crocadile or a vampyrum bat
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/3/2013
YOUR STORY WAS AWESOME AND MY FAVORITE ANIMAL IS THE ZEBRA
| Kiri chapter 1 . 3/23/2013
Zebra, this fic is cool
| Wendy Brune chapter 1 . 3/3/2013
So, quick note - I actually submitted this review a long time ago on behalf of the RLt, but I guess it didn't go through, as someone pointed out the review was missing. So sorry about that! This isn't, of course, the exact review I left, but I've reread your story and tried to incorporate as much as my old review as possible, as well as anything new that catches my eye.
I thought the note and explanation for why Danny had an ice core was well done. It shows a lot about both characters mentioned, and I think using ice - something that we normally associate with a mean person - is unexpected but understandable after your explanation. It's impressive that you could surprise me like that.
There is room for improvement with the story, though. It was an interesting moment, but there wasn't much substance plot wise. Think about a story like a movie: you need a beginning, middle, and end, where actions or scenes happen that move the main story along. This read more like a small scene than an actual story. I also wanted more description, both of the surroundings and the actions. You rely a lot on your dialogue to tell what's happening.
For example, instead of: "Hey, Clockwork, I decided to come visit you." Danny yelled as he looked for Clockwork.
Danny creeped along the staircase, looking in every nook and cranny for his friend Clockwork. He was half distracted by the troubling question in his head and didn't even notice Clockwork until he was right on top of him.
SPAG note - You don't use periods like that in quotes. Instead of, '"Nice one. I will see you later. Bye." Danny said,' it should be '"Nice one. I will see you later. Bye," Danny said.' You use a comma before attribution, not periods. Additionally, you do have some run-on sentences! Watch out for those commas!
| vixen the cat chapter 1 . 1/11/2013
Wolf. Also, nice oneshot. I've always wondered about that...
| sohrem666 chapter 1 . 1/9/2013
Cute and my favorite animal is a wolf because they are guardians in a way for their packs just as I am for my family.
| Eli Sempai chapter 1 . 1/9/2013
| GuardianWitchDemiGhost chapter 1 . 1/6/2013
VGF:Nice. :) This was very, very nice. :D To answer the RQD: Foxes. I LOVEEEEEEE foxes! 3 -.- Awsome update and happy i read it. I will end with my goodbyes,Ta.
| jeanette9a chapter 1 . 1/5/2013
awe sweet. XD
i like cats,
kat, neko, gato (yep that is 4 differnt words for cat.)
| SailorSea chapter 1 . 1/4/2013
I liked this it was short and simple but still really good and interesting. Oh and my favorite animal is a flamingo
| Aurora Marie Williams chapter 1 . 1/4/2013
Very nice! Your ideas continue to impress me :) Work on your grammar and it would be even better! Keep the stories coming! RQD Answer: Hedgehogs! I own two (Peeta and Holly) and I love them!
| Snowing Phantom chapter 1 . 1/4/2013
to many to chose so all of the big cats ( tiger, leopard, panther, etc... etc...) and a wolf... sorry i just cant chose 1...
| DB-KT chapter 1 . 1/4/2013
Wow. This is really nice. (and short lol)
My favorite animal? Hm... The Rooster!
May I ask why?
| chadtayor020 chapter 1 . 1/4/2013
A little sweet. Bulldog.