|Reviews for The Rookie Chronicles 2: Black Ops Rising|
| Kellise chapter 26 . 5/14/2014
When they first go into the base you state its a locker room, say its a lock room and then go on calling it a locker room. I assume you just missed a "er". And ok, not Mass Effect XD
| Kellise chapter 25 . 5/14/2014
This suddenly feels Mass Effect
| Kellise chapter 24 . 5/14/2014
I would like to make a point at this chapter, that your story regularly leaves me giggling like a retard to the eternal confusion of everyone around me. XD
| Kellise chapter 23 . 5/14/2014
"And interest question came to mind" (when Trents thinking about Jason VS Predator)
And an interesting
And a question
| Kellise chapter 21 . 5/14/2014
You missed a space when Trents talking to Stern about not letting civvies into the area if they knew anything was going to go down. The number of cross overs are getting trippy but are fun.
| Kellise chapter 13 . 5/13/2014
"Wow. Youre pretty take charge" near the end. It doesnt really make any sense. Otherwise first new flaw Ive found in 13 chapters! Seems your writing got better as the stories went on. *happy*
| remember-remember chapter 40 . 3/16/2014
You sir won't believe how much I hate you for killing off all those well bult, awesome and just lovable characters like this. No really I kinda feel the last 3 chapters were rushed and I am just addicted to Jason , trent and enzo . I also love and hate the way you turned this legit halo war story into a weird insanity infused galactif Ghostbusters story who all have cool shit and who kick ass. I love it because it' really creative and fun to read ans I hait it because it just feels like a crime to mix a wonderfully set story with other video games and such. Also I didnt reconize from where all the monsters came from. One last thing, that creature in the cave under the ark, I would have preferd you to give us more detail and include it more in the story. Re-finally , I know it is hopeless but please write more about the tale of jason/trent and enzo. Thanks for a great story, made me cry and laugh.
| Noble noisii chapter 4 . 1/5/2014
Why is it T rating?
| Commissar Critical chapter 41 . 12/1/2013
Fuckin' A man. I wish you had updated this one, but I'm sure I'll like the new stories. Thanks for letting your loyal fans know the battleplan.
Commissar Critical, formerly The Critical One
| ghostleon chapter 41 . 12/1/2013
I can't wait to see your new work, even if its under a new profile. Also its good to see your back, i hope your writing career has gone well during your hiatus. I'll be watching for your new stuff.
As always your hunble reader/reviewer,
| deafarcher chapter 41 . 12/1/2013
Well I totally didn't see this coming :D
But seriously man do whatever makes you happy... it seams recently youv just got ambitious... its not your thing... originally you just rolled with it from one story to the next and we loved them all... now you seem like your restricting yourself
| Innoxious chapter 40 . 7/14/2013
"He watched the proceedings begin to wrap up. ... ... ONI had chosen to go public with the Survivors, but that's only because Trent knew they were shutting the program down" should read "Blake knew.." since trent is currently being buried.
| Innoxious chapter 35 . 7/13/2013
Just another example..."Trent rolled as he hit the ground, swinging his shotgun around and blocking away the awful mask of sickly white horror that the Creeper atop him wore. " probably should be "blasting away..."
"They reached the extraction zone and hustled into the Pelican. Trent knew that there were too many onboard, but the back ramp began closing anyway and the Pelican took off." Too many what? People on the pelican to take off? how did they take off anyway if there were too many people? did they leave kick people off or what?
Maybe i'm reading too much into this or misremembering, but if Childs said they recently 'torn away' from searching for eric/trent/thorne, then why did melissa/blake think he was dead and get together only a couple weeks after the incident?
I know the amount of criticism in my reviews far outweigh the praise, but don't let that fool you. I really do enjoy this story or i obviously wouldn't be reading it...
| Innoxious chapter 33 . 7/13/2013
"Finally, Jennifer stood up.
"Fine, whatever. I'm going to go get ready." She left. Slowly, the others rose and began to file out. Before he could leave, Trent asked Nauls,"
So I'm either really confused or you're doing the melissa/jennifer switch thing again... Also, i know this is a sequel, but you need to expand on how you reintroduce characters, or put more of their back-story in, or something similar. It's been kinda difficult remembering all the characters especially when they haven't been 'heard' from in a while and you only introduce them by their name, and sometimes only a first or last name which wasn't what they were usually called during.
| Innoxious chapter 29 . 7/13/2013
I've noticed a lot more spelling/grammar errors recently, as if you are relying to much on spell check instead of a good beta reader. Things like 'way' instead of 'wave' or a switching up names like when Jennifer and Melissa first met. Also a few things were incongruous like "Trent ... his battle rifle. He saw sprays of blood..." where Trent gave his BR to Jorge earlier.
I really enjoy the plot/story and the way you handle the crossover part, although it would be nice if you could list them or annotate them someone. While im pretty sure i have recognized all of them, it would be nice to know for sure i didnt miss any.
Anyway, keep up the good work, and i will probably go end up reading this again where i will leave my reviews more frequently so you know exactly which chapter im talking about...