|Reviews for Who Shall Smile Till the Last|
| Guest chapter 2 . 3/31/2014
thank for the chapter please continue!
| Avalon Kore chapter 1 . 1/24/2013
Oh come on, a cliff hanger? Considered me interested so please update soon! I want to know what happens next!
I also like your description of dynamics between Tom and his followers, I must be somewhat sadistic haha. :D
| Kiki chapter 1 . 1/12/2013
Hi! Since you don't really have much to work with since this is the prologue, I'll so ahead and say the usual: watch for stray "s's" at the end of words, and that's really it on that part.
One the paragraph mentioning how Abraxas, "...stumbled to his feet and kissed the hem of his robes" I would try to look out for these "show, don't tell" phrases where you are describing physical action. At least in my case, I saw Abraxas stand up and then bend down like he would attempting to touch his toes to kiss Tom's robes. Maybe that is how my mind works, but that is just a tip.
Sorry if I seem like I am nitpicking don't get me wrong: this is a promising prologue to what I am sure is a great story. I just saw the lack of reviews and I wanted to help in any way possible. Good luck on your story and hope it is fantastic.