Reviews for The Pursuit of Perfection
ssyee123 chapter 1 . 4/12
Do yanagi story
Guest chapter 1 . 2/9/2013
*we as readers need

Sorry for the typographical error. As you can see, I am human as well.
Guest chapter 1 . 2/9/2013
You could also make your character have social problems, a victim of bullying due to her 'perfection,' perhaps? You are smart, you could figure out how to fix the problem on your character. But my main point is that don't be afraid to hurt your character. Put your character into tough times for us to see what she is really made of.
Next is arc development. It seemed fast paced to me. You need to explore the problem of your character more. Show us every facet of her problem. Oh, she doesn't have any? Then give her one! Again, don't be afraid to hurt your character.
My next comment would be about style. But let us save that for another day.
Please be reminded that I'm not writing this to hurt you. I am writing this to help you improve. Continue writing, don't be discouraged by this comment.

Good luck!
Guest chapter 1 . 2/9/2013
First of all, congratulations on publishing a work of fiction! As a fellow writer, I know how hard it is to write and publish something. As Hemingway put it: There is nothing to writing, all youhave to do is sit at a typewriter and bleed.

But I'm not here just to congratulate you. I am also here to give you pieces of advice. First of all, you have to work more on creating your characters. I do know that it's fun to create and own a perfect character. But you have to understand that we are creating stories to reiterate the things happening in life. And there is no such thing as a perfect human. You need to give your character flaws. And I mean FLAWS. We, as readers needs a character that we could sypathize with, a character to root for. It's fine if you want to have a rich, beautiful, and smart character, but give her a problem for goodness' sake. For example, you could give your charater moments ( again, plural) of insecurity.
piruchan chapter 1 . 1/30/2013
Since I can't seem to find the exact words to describe how I feel as I read this magnificent work of yours. I'd just show you this emoticon that says how I feel: (**)

Please oh please! Do keep writing more of your Niou x OC stories because I am honestly (secretly) following and reading all of it. Excellent job! Bravo to you! 5/5! I really enjoyed reading this! (it's quite obvious anyways) More Niou x OC to come. Please?
erieh chapter 1 . 1/23/2013
The hell was with that line?! " Hey, promise me that we will do it until dawn. Oh, and I also want six or eight clones made specially by the two of us. Puri."
Oh gosh, I'm squealing like a madman right now! What the?! I never expected that Niou would be too gorgeous with that response! I mean, hey, it's hard to picture Niou in that kind of attitude-a love-struck man whose world revolve around tennis!
Gosh, great job on portraying him, nikz!
This is ate Je. :)
Hala chapter 1 . 1/8/2013
I love it Puri
Achelois Rising chapter 1 . 1/7/2013
This oneshot is amazing! You are a great writer, your writing is able to provoke so many emotions from me when I was reading it! Not only was it an enjoyable read, it was intuitive, deep and meaningful as well. It would be great if you continued this (if you want) just to fill in the gaps during her school years! It will be a great a story! I'm a huge fan!