|Reviews for Revenge|
| Caitlinage 10 chapter 2 . 1/29/2013
I love it! I've always been a big Hunger Games fan! Good Luck, and may the odds be ever in your favor!
| GeneticallyPredisposedChicken chapter 12 . 1/31/2013
Oooh, bummer on Oblivion. Loved his name...
The non-District 1 Careers interest me; so far, Caspian and Platinum have dominated the action. Love to see how the others feel and react on a deeper level.
| Littlemisskigirl chapter 11 . 1/26/2013
That was short. Who's next?
| GeneticallyPredisposedChicken chapter 10 . 1/25/2013
Hm. Interested in the arena layout - particularly with the "quartered" segment system. Always nice to see some innovation in an arena; particularly if it can break the usual "74th Games-style" type that goes around all the time.
| GeneticallyPredisposedChicken chapter 7 . 1/25/2013
I like your idea to portray backstories - one-shots - but if I could offer some advice:
One-shotting a chapter that diverges pretty far from the ongoings of the story can be a bit disruptive to the ebb and flow of things. You may want to - instead - incorporate them as dialogue through another character's explanation to Audrey (thus keeping it in the same POV), or if you do decide to move to another character's POV, keeping some sort of reference to what's going on in the story's present. That way, everything flows smoothly and the backstory is explained.
If taking things from Audrey's past, for instance, a memory interspersed in ongoing action is an easy way to explain the past without veering too far from the future.
Besides that, the story's picking up nicely here through 7 chapters. Good stuff.
| GeneticallyPredisposedChicken chapter 3 . 1/25/2013
Interesting portrayal of the parents - putting district pride ahead of the lives of their children. Nice take on that, and I like the way you've portrayed them.
Audrey's revenge motivation seems a classic, but I get the feeling that her thoughts about "the Games changing Riley" will switch things up. Good stuff through three chapters; if I could toss in a recommendation, you might want to run over your chapters once before you post them - even "saying them out loud in your head", at times - to make sure things sound right. Some herky-jerky sentences here and there (although, who isn't guilty of those...)
Overall, nice work so far.
| Littlemisskigirl chapter 10 . 1/24/2013
"People try are trying to kill me"
Just before the countdown.
Editing! And how's that plot working for you?
| FireFrostFlare chapter 10 . 1/23/2013
Great job with revising!
Wow... O.o I love the countdown!
And really quick posting, btw.
Amazing chapter, as always!
| Littlemisskigirl chapter 9 . 1/23/2013
So looooong, much better if shorter, muuuuuuuch better.
Haha it was cool. I didn't see any spelling mistakes yet but I'll be on the look out. This no name girl u speak of, the doll whispery one, name? Or is she dying in the bloodbath, cuz otherwise why would u mention her?
Anyways really good over 300 views! Your totally deserve it!
| Littlemisskigirl chapter 8 . 1/18/2013
I never have to say much when it comes to u. That was amazing, Denow. *if only I could be this good*
| Radio Free Death chapter 1 . 1/18/2013
Its obvious that twelve-year-olds aren't put up as participants is because they're not fully trained or they're not part of the trained kids.
[The rest of them died in a Gamemaker avalanche, and some girl from 7 won. I don't even know how those kind of tribute's win.]
I think she just answered her own question.
So she sees that the Games are wrong because it changed Riley...but it goes against her praise and gloats that he was so good at killing. It would be one thing if she recalled his training as nothing compared to the reality, because you can be trained in various weapons, but it means nothing when you're put in a situation where you have to use them with lethal intent and find that maybe you can't take a life. And if she knows what the Games do to people, why is she volunteering? And worse, why does she think that killing kids who did not kill Riley and are just as innocent as she is bring any kind of conclusion? The kids who killed him are dead.
I suppose I can chalk the implausibility of the whole thing to her age, but she's very perspective and self-aware for this to be a mistake.
| FireFrostFlare chapter 7 . 1/17/2013
How do you do this? I'm not even kidding. How the hell do you write like this? It's like... An accomplished author.
| Littlemisskigirl chapter 6 . 1/17/2013
Your too good at this! Help Plez? I'm soooo stuck!
| Littlemisskigirl chapter 5 . 1/13/2013
Thats so cool that's so cool! Contstructuve... Critism... Agh I got
| Littlemisskigirl chapter 4 . 1/12/2013