Reviews for A Lover In Mother's Clothing
autobotlover chapter 1 . 12/7/2014
First time seeing this pairing, intriguing start.
Guest chapter 1 . 3/29/2014
Still waiting for that glorious update.
DjinniFires chapter 1 . 1/9/2013
First, let me say I don't know the fandom (except for having seen the action figures years ago). Isn't that always the way with the more detailed reviews? The description and dialogue are all decently done. The pairing is obviously interesting and Rei's switch in affections from the daughter to the mother has a lot of potential for conflict and drama-if you want to make this a longer story (you do head it "chapter 1" in the text, after all).

First 2 paragraphs: I think leaving Rei's identity unknown is more confusing than mysterious since we're in (I think) omniscient point-of-view for the first couple of paragraphs. If you still want to not identify her, say "young woman" instead of "figure" since the latter implies someone seen at a distance. On the other hand, you could start in Ikuko's point-of-view looking out the window into the night watching Rei approaching her house. Leave "finally" out unless you add more description that shows the walk took some time. In the last sentence of paragraph 1, the tense should be "...why she had come here."

No complaints {{grin}} about the next bit except that "demanded seductively" sounds better to me than with the words reversed.

I don't know the characters or the relationships being discussed in the next bit but you hint at possible drama.

Lastly, I strongly recommend that you end with "...She's my princess, but you're my queen." That's a great line.

The next paragraph sounds more like a summary of your thoughts that you want to show in the story. To make them the character's thoughts, place them in a new scene where Rei's interacting with someone (saying one thing but thinking another), carrying out an activity, or at least sitting somewhere where she occasionally interacts with a prop, e.g., is drinking tea. Make sure the reader knows Rei still has feelings for Usagi! Drama, drama, drama.
anon chapter 1 . 1/8/2013
very nice quite interesting i never read something like this with those two, please write more
ernatoddisles chapter 1 . 1/8/2013
wow that is good and intressting
please update