Well, there is the fact that she (Ginny) is only 14. Most all 14 years-old make foolish choices. He should have sent her to live a muggle life, hoping for a later redemption.

This was a bit rushed. It wasn't explained how ALBUS caused the loss of his eye. He said it was Albus' fault, THEN said it was a bar fight in which Albus wasn't even mentioned. Harry could have asked many pertinent questions, but instead, he goes with "Did you have a crush on my Mom?" What does that have to do with anything important? None of them gave an actual, logical explanation as to why they were no longer on Albus' side.

Bravo! Once again I want to thank you for a fine story and I look forward to seeing your future stories.

You really need to plan your story accordingly. The first chapter can't be this rushed mess. I could predict everything that's going to happen, read the last chapter and probably be 80-90% right.

people seem to just accept everything, slytherins are supposed to be more cautious then that. also the story does seem to be moving at a very fast pace, maybe too fast.

it's " So mote it be!" not "So it be mote!" Your story idea is good, but man do you need a beta!

OK, not a bad chapter. Some thoughts

1. Why does Rufus have a portkey to Potter manner?
2. What happened to Amelia Bones? You've said nothing about her and she didn't die until later that summer in canon. As she was Director of DMLE, if alive, she should get the nod as she outranked Rufus.
3. The handling of the Dursleys and Harry's abuse works, but they should see about a private healer to see how much damage can be healed.
4. As is often the case in stories like this, Hermione's parents are taking things in stride much better than one would expect.

TGM

Decent start. However:

1. A bunch of this simply recycles elements that I've read before.
2, Scene with Fudge is pretty good and is in fact, sensible.
3. Scene with Dumbledore, though isn't. I can't suspend disbelief to the point that, once Harry defeats the Imperius, He allow Harry to simply walk away. Particularly with the will - which logic tells us he's never would have let him see in the first place. That is the point at which he stuns Harry, call the Weasleys, and force feed the potions to him to bind him to Ginny, plus a loyalty potion or two geared to him.
4. No surprise that Hermione would stand by him. No surprise that her main feelings are affection and loyalty, and not simple self-preservation.
5. The main pairing is not to my taste, frankly. I'm a Harmonian, so I have not problem here. I have no problem with Haphne, or with Electrum, (Harry, Hermione and one of the Slytherin witches of roughly their age).

I do have a big problem with Ginny. Setting up Ginny as bad, then redeeming her is at this point terribly cliched. Robst did it quite well in a couple of his stories, but he never when so far as to make her a romantic interest. Hinny did not work in canon and I've never seen it work and be satisfying in FF either, and I've read stories in which Harry's been in a multi with her.
6. Again, as in number three, I can't see Dumbledore allowing Harry and a Hermione time or opportunity to meet and make plans.
7. While I don't mind at all Daphene in the mix, I hope you won't do anything like use a Black or Potter family marriage contract as the vehicle. That too has been done to death and would need an awful lot of jazzing to make it work.

I truly hate to come off as the the East German judge here, but these are really major flaws I know you'll need to address to keep my interest in this fic. It can be done, I'm rooting for you to pull it off. I give it a fair reading, but I won't stay in my favorites list if these issues aren't resolve as I go on.

Respectfully (yes, truly!)
TGM

I'll let you know that I'm not entirely disappointed with the ending (given the context of the story, I can see how it kinda made sense), but little combat and long-winded speech that boiled down to whose proverbial penis was bigger, then 'poof' and baddies were gone, was even more anticlimactic than the final Harry vs. Voldemort confrontation in 'Deathly Hallows' book. Considering the sheer epicness (is this even a word?) of this story up to this point, it was a huge letdown. At least your epilogue was loads better than JKR's, that's for sure.

That said, thanks for a good read. I'm going to check your other stories in the near future.

I don't understand that how Harry's parents knew they mistrusted Remus Lupin before they died.

Fking good story. I really like what you do with it and I am happy to have read. Thank you.

Another one of those stories where Harry discovers that everyone has betrayed him through a series of completely ridiculous coincidences within a single chapter?

I don't need to read the next chapters to know how this will continue:
He will go to Gringotts and the goblins will tell him some more about the traitors in his life, he will learn that his is Sirius' heir, that he has dozens of titles to throw around, is emancipated (just because Sirius says so in his will) and is betrothed to several girls, that he has an incredible amount of wealth (that will most likely never *really* be used in the war against Voldemort or Dumbledore) and some stupid blood test will reveal that he has special talents for just about any branch of magic (that have been blocked by Dumbledore). He will find some allies (like Neville Longbottom) who will tell him they always had doubts about Dumbledore being light, yet they never saw fit to tell Harry for some completely spurious reasons. Then he will get to know the Granger parents who will instantly love him (well, at least the mother will, while the father might have some reservations). Then they will all spend the summer together, either in France or on some Potter Island or Black Island or in Potter Manor of course, after the Granger ladies took Harry on a long (and usually unnecessarily detailed) shopping trip for clothes. At the same time Dumbledore will have the Order looking for Harry. There will be one or two confrontations with Death Eaters and Order members. Harry will convince Remus or Tonks to spy on the Order, eventually they will meet the Weasleys again, most likely in King's Cross, and Molly Weasley will call Hermione a scarlet woman (or a hussy or whatever), Ron will complain about "Potter getting everything", the twins will be appalled at their family's behavior, Arthur will put his foot down as Head of his family, Molly will be arrested for brewing love potions or for attacking/insulting Lord Potter's betrothed and so on...

I have seen more than a hundred stories like that. It's always the same few ideas, being strung together more or less randomly, nearly always set in the summer after Harry's fifth Hogwarts year.

Often enough there are other ideas being used too:
- Harry marries his girl (or usually several girls - just to show the readers what a man Harry is, being able to satisfy two, three or several dozen girls)
- Harry takes over the Daily Prophet (which is usually never again mentioned in the story)
- Harry buys some random luxury goods (like an iPod - which is useless in Hogwarts and which is never mentioned again either)
- Harry attends a Wizengamot meeting and claims his family seats, Dumbledore tries (with no success) to prevent that
- Harry trains a lot (and usually learns to become an animagus - which is nearly always completely useless in the later parts of the story, not to mention that it is ridiculous that Harry learns this within only months (or even weeks))
- Harry provides Wolfsbane potion free of charge for all werewolves, not wasting a single though on the possibility that it might not be a good idea to give someone like Fenrir Greyback access to that potion.
- Draco attacks them on the train, Harry shows him what a real wizard is, Snape already waits at Hogwarts to punish Harry, Harry doesn't accept that, Dumbledore calls Harry into his office, Snape throws a fit, Dumbledore tries to punish Harry, Harry doesn't accept that, Snape uses Legilimency, Harry repels the attack (of course despite having had an absolutely busy summer with lots of snogging, shagging, sightseeing, duelling training, animagus training, learning for early NEWTs and whatever else, Harry still found all the time he needed to develop perfect Occlumency shields) and finally Harry leaves the office with none of the issues reseolves at all (or with Snape arrested for his Legilimency attack) - and that's exactly how this school year continues.
- Finally Voldemort attacks Hogwarts (or kidnaps Hermione - which Harry usually is to stupid to foresee and prevent) and Harry kills him for it - along with Voldemort's mighty army - often with the help of the DA, a group of school kids who have become a perfectly functioning army within only a few months.

It doesn't even matter whether your story is exactly like that or not. Your very first chapter gives exactly that impression which probably results in most of your potential readers not bothering to read on.

Absolutely fantastic keep writing

not going to lie great story but harry is a pussy

Just finished this the first of your stories that I have read. Wanted to let you know that it was a very enjoyable read and nicely thought out. I look forward to reading more of your stories and just wanted to say to keep up the great work.

James