|Reviews for Holding Back|
| shade815 chapter 2 . 8/4/2014
I'm enjoying this story so far and I'd like to see where it goes. I'd love for an another update :)
| LoftSerialomanov chapter 2 . 3/28/2014
Lovely fanfic! I do not understand why you keep it? I ask you at least one chapter still write!
| AlainHotCoco chapter 2 . 2/13/2013
Wow. I love your writing style. I can literally visualize everything you've described. (I also love Amy Lee.)
I am very interested to see where this story goes.. I think it has a great potential, as do you. (:
Please update it soon? You are going to continue, right? I surely hope so.
| aussierose89 chapter 2 . 2/6/2013
Great story I am interested to see where this goes
| wouldyouliketoseemymask chapter 1 . 1/11/2013
I'm really excited to read more of this! Crane doesn't seem to like Katy very much so I am interested to see how they will end up together. I'm also interested to see how her interest with fear will intersect with his own "work". Keep up the good work and update soon!
| auriellis chapter 1 . 1/10/2013
Thanks for the visual description of your OC. I know Amy Lee quite well and it puts the OC in my head. I'll be honest and say I didn't much like this as an opening chapter. Conceptual-wise, it works. A party to meet the new co-worker and discuss research. However, it seems less like an opening and more like a second chapter. The sharing an office thing, I guess, could be interesting. But at the same time, Crane is a higher-up on the Arkham scale (in fact, I think he's the head Doctor of Arkham per the movie) and he shouldn't have to be put in that situation so I find it a bit implausible. Mostly because logic dictates he couldn't get away with the experiments in Arkham if he was being scrutinized by a superior.
The dialogue seems forced and not very organic, even for a professional conversation. I prefer to see dialogue that feels like the characters are in the moment, and also separated from one another, which I don't see it here. What I mean is that each line feels like the other could have said it (if you take away the "Jonathan said" or "Katy said" parts. Also, a spell check and a basic grammar check could do you wonders. You often utilize the same misspelled words, such as "compossing" which should be "composing." Or "clentched" which should be "clenched." Or not capitalizing "I'm". It's very distracting and will pull your readers out of the story.
As a side note, this chapter isn't really "long" on the grand scale of fan fiction. I think it's the perfect length. Writing shorter chapters is your call but I find I enjoy fiction that has longer chapters, more like a book.
In any case, I always love seeing new writers to this forum. Hopefully my tips will help you improve your writing. Good luck and keep writing! Cheers!