|Reviews for The 18th: Standing in their Graves|
| JabberjayHeart chapter 24 . 9/5/2013
Was thinking last night: "I wonder when Chaos will update again... I bet tomorrow morning."
And then you did ;D telepathy ftw.
Hi Inez, girl!
So she's leaving the island, or has left. That's good, those boys are rabid. If I remember correctly, they accidentally kill one of their own, believing he was the beast or something. Isn't the beast just a dead pilot or whatever? Well, obviously not for you ;)
I bet the beast really is a beast, like a Cerberus or something!
I still like Inez. She's really a fighter and has a strong driving force. I think she has a great chance of becoming Victor. It does, however, feel foreboding with her mentioning that the boys will come out soon - if Knox is still around, I can see him either dead (like a replacement for the boy in the story, you gets killed!) or being taken in? Can you imagine that?! Knox joins the boys from Lord of the Flies. Oh god, well, he'd be better off straightaway.
So the Careers want revenge for losing the fight by choosing to... fight? Makes sense, I suppose.
The Anti-Careers attacked them, and they lost Marlee. Now the Careers want to be the ones to instigate an attack on the Antis, and if it folds out mathematically, they'll lose one.
I'm starting to like Damien more... DONT JUDGE ME.
Like, he's not a favourite. But he's tolerable. And he's toned down the sudden arrogance. And he's got my pity for being not only injured, but with the expected pressure of being the "outer-Career".
DAMIEN HAS GUILT OH GOD. Pushing up in my books, yes.
Yeah: Sawyer is my favourite, her wit and sarcasm amuses me. Next is Desire because she's relatable and breaks a stereotype that she was enhancing in the Capitol. Then Damien, and Ainsley's last because he's insufferable. Calculating and strong, yes, but little to no development and relies too much on Desire for any action or change :/
That, and he's kind of a jerk.
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO OWOIFWFW
chaos why why why
Okay, so I've calmed down. It was expected considering they've been idle for far too long. But, in this case, I suspect that something will happen to Alyx and Rhain next! Can't say Alyx's odds are looking too good :/
But yeah. So Gollum found them oh my god, really Chaos, really. I cried in both laughter and heartbreak. You really got his precioussss down good :')
The riddles were beyond creepy. I didn't get a single one so I would've died earlier. And god, for such a small, bony thing, Gollum was able to throw Aedan around like a ragdoll. Then he cracked Aedan's skull and I think my heart broke with him :'/
AND THEN HE ATE HIM. CHAOS NO. CANNIBALISM IS NOT OKAY.
Wait. Does it count as cannibalism? I don't know whether Gollum is human or mythical or not.
But yeah, my baby's odds are just so bad at the moment, I don't know how he'll last :'
AEDAN I WILL FOREVER LOVE YOU YOU WERE MY FAVOURITE AND SHILOH LOVES YOU.
"I will go down with this ship..." S.S Shaedan, you were great whilst you lasted.
One death a chapter, Chaos... it worries me. Is it also like a foreshadow that the tributes will start dropping faster, harder, and in bigger clumps? :/ So scared. Luff you!
| Even when musics gone chapter 24 . 9/5/2013
I can't believe Aedan is dead! It was a horrible, terrifying yet compelling scene and Shiloh's reaction too it was heartbroken and set up a lot of future development for him. It was very foreboding.
I have a bad feeling about Inez leaving the beach/island :/ It could end up being ironicly bad for her as she thinks she is leaving for the best and to go somewhere safe but I've a feeling she is walking right into a trap.
Damien's focus on Eris's death and comparison of guilt over Eris and Marlee was interesting.
Update soon :-)
| PenMagic chapter 24 . 9/5/2013
That was totally creepy but I loved the riddles, they were awesome to try to figure out. What was the answer to the last one?
| Anime'sPrincess chapter 24 . 9/4/2013
THIS CHAPTER WAS CRAZY. IT ALMOST... KILLED ME. JUST...
I'LL GET TO THAT PART AFTER D:
Hello, Inez! It's been a while since we heard from her. Inez has really remained herself throughout the games and is still determined and keep a level head and it's good how you always bring her thoughts back to home and her sister, I always find it strange when writers have the tributes almost never think about their past and life, it makes them feel very unreal and one-dimensional.
It's a good choice for Inez to leave the island XD We all know what could happen to her. I do kind of hope Knox does run into the savage boys as Inez has named them XD I could see them luring him into their group and even pretending to him that he is their leader, he'd view it as a big adventure and they might even pretend they'd help him fight the others but of course they will turn on him... that's just one theory I have but yes Inez is sensible to get out of there!
Damien is showing remorse and some ... actual... feeling! You go Damien, it's about time. I remember thinking he changed so much from his reapings to now and anything I actually liked about him was lost but I think that went with his character and you handled it well. He was so bored at home and longing for an adventure that he would do anything for some excitement and acting like a career probably felt right to him but of course he is human and is now questioning things. I wonder what he'll do next and I am excited for round two of the careers vs the anti careers. The careers seem much more ready this time.
I just can't. I am so torn :( Aedan was my favorite of them all. He was just so tragic yet heartwarming. He was the most realistic of them all in terms of just a normal teenager. He was funny and happy and light-hearted but had hidden depths to him and even flaws and struggles that made him that bit more human and therefore more likable.
I am so torn because this scene was fantastic yet the outcome was horrifying.
GOLLUM! HOW HADN'T I THOUGHT OF THIS. THE RIDDLE GAME! AHHHHH. I AM FANGIRLING RIGHT NOW. YO CAPTURED THIS SO PERFECTLY. IT WAS SO CREEPY.
I won't say so much about this because it literally killed me but the thought of Shiloh having to stand their idly as his ally who he referred to as his 'best friend' :'( was eating alive... it was just... it killed me okay!
One thing, hmmmm, I wonder why Gollum was focused on Aedan and not Shiloh, maybe the gamemakers wanted rid of Aedan so they could see Shiloh on his own as they know it'd send him even more unstable.
Chaos this was one of my favorite chapters which is weird because it made me so freaking sad.
| Thgfan9 chapter 23 . 9/3/2013
Your writing continues to amaze me and even though I no longer have a tribute I am still emotionally invested in this story and interested in the inevitable outcome and the future plots.
I have to say I did see Marlee's death coming and I agree she faded terribly after the capitol but she did have potential, sadly her injury was too much on the character.
Phi is slowly warming up to me, I mean yes he is vile and awful and so one sided but he is different to read about as he just is so inhumane.
Alyx and Rhain and Aedan and Shiloh are the alliance that mean the most to me but Desire is really coming out of her shell as a tribute and I'm learning a lot about her and starting to really support her.
I am not sure about the final 8 but I do have a few ideas.
Great chapter, chaos!
| Anime'sPrincess chapter 23 . 8/28/2013
I liked the focus on Desire's disorder though her own perspective! It makes sense that she would be able to hide it from these people who barely know or notice her and I am sure she has been doing well to cover it up her whole life.
She's so deluded in ways but also quite perceptive. She doesn't realize how much starving herself is affecting her chances and well just her sanity but she does realize that it works in her favor to be rid of Melody and to be seen as in the bottom ranks of the alliance.
I am growing to like her even more.
And all of a sudden... a wild Phi appears! AHAHAHA. I am a dork. I just LOVED Desire's way of describing him.
Phi truly is a love to hate type of tribute! I really like reading about him as he is so rigidly arrogant and inhumane and you don't ever feel sorry for him and can just enjoy the madness he creates and really get into the battle because of how wild and vicious he is. I really was expecting more bloodshed and death but I am glad we get to hold on to more characters for just a little while longer.
I love the banter between Phi and Andras even during such an excruciating moment.
I think that Alyx and Rhain are in a bad position due to the portion of the arena they are in as already both of them are slipping away and have to deal with the demons of their past as well as the ones now in their present.
I really love your portrayal of Rhain! You never make her one dimensional. Of course she will focus on her child as any mother would but you bring out the other sides to her and give her depth, something other authors fail to do.
It is so obvious that Alyx and Rhain need each other and I dread the moment when one of these girls loses the other.
I think it is also appropriate for Alyx to be glad that Melody is gone- not all tributes are all moral and merciful.
Amazing chapter Chaos! You astound me with how flawless your writing always is technically but more so how you blend emotions and action and balance everything.
Reading this story is always difficult as you make it so exciting and compelling that I want to read about them killing each other as sick as that is but you bring these characters to life in such a way that each death is an emotional blow even if I don't support the character.
I can't wait for more!
| Foxface5 chapter 23 . 8/28/2013
Desire's character is growing and she is beginning to make more sense to me. She is definitely the most humane of the careers and I like how she understands that it is in her favor to not be noticed by her allies.
Phi remains to be hilarious. He is completely arrogant and over estimates himself constantly, I sense this will be his down fall.
I enjoyed the fighting, your action scenes are always gripping.
Rhain and Alyx bring some normality among the chaos in this chapter. These girls are not doing so well, both are being mentally affected and Alyx is sick.
They seem to convert between one looking after the other to vice versa. I love them as an alliance but they need to start doing something soon or they'll fade.
Awesome chapter chaos! I can't wait til your final 8 is unveiled and I sense a lot more is coming in this story!
| Anla'shok chapter 23 . 8/28/2013
I liked Desire, but as a Career she's sad, so "normal" I guess. Although maybe she's the most real of the Careers, she realized the difference between training and "real stuff."
When I created Phi, I wanted people to love hating him. You made my dreams reality xD. Although, people seem to actually like him, which is insane. On the other hand, psychos like him make you forget the Games are sad, so it suddenly gets more entertaining. I also guess that's why Careers are often favorites instead of being bashed like the horrible people they are.
I liked the fight, because it shows that fights can be violent, messy and full of feeling without leaving a sea of bodies behind. Phi was objectively bad at fighting, except for the fact he stayed alive and I'm surprised the Careers were worse.
Poor Marlee, but she's a normal kid with a horrible wound, there was no future there.
Was that a glimmer of humanity Damien? Nah, I must be mistaken, it was just fear.
And Rhain and Alyx have found a good balance between being friends and being wary, not of each other but of the situation (and cameras). Although I still don't get why Alyx is scared her family will hate her so much. I may overestimate how nice they are...
| Even when musics gone chapter 23 . 8/28/2013
I do think that Marlee was the right choice, any longer and she was going to be such a dead weight on the story.
I really enjoyed the fight and when Phi just appeared in Desire's pov I actually freaked out a bit XD that was tense.
I think Rhain is the most human of all the tributes and the flash backs were very... powerful.
| JabberjayHeart chapter 23 . 8/27/2013
Desire, Desire, Desire. I like the fact that she's lightening up, I can see a human finally.
No, on a serious note, I'm liking how she's turning out. Her backstory flows in nicely and I like how desperate she feels, how it seems someone so pretty and possibly popular like Desire is now the outcast, looking to prove herself.
Marlee isn't strong, pfft, she's as good as dead! Phi is a psycho, I agree. Kalen could die easily.
AND PHI ATTACKED WITH HIS SMASHED-LOOKING FACE.
Sawyer is taking control nicely. Ainsley, I just don't get... what is his angle? He is, like, a spokesperson for District One in the Games? Like some Coach as well?
Phi is as nasty as ever.
So, Desire is injured and Damien had a knife thrown into his side? Charming.
Phi is pretty evil, just leaving Marlee there, but it keeps to character again. I doubt he cared for her all that much anyway. This alliance is crumbling faster than the actual Careers!
With Damien injured but still killing Marlee, they run. Andras, your team is letting you down. Andras has run twice now because of Marlee, haha.
God, I hope Phi turns on Kalen and they both die. I like Phi as a character, but as a person, he's awful. Kalen should die and then Phi can later on. By Andras. By saying shut up.
Rhain and Alyx are good, I'll give you that, but they haven't done much. I guess the same could be said about Shiloh and Aedan. They've just... sat there. Then again, it's realistic, because not every tribute wants to hunt. It's where I go wrong with my stories, just letting them sit and chill and eat some peanuts yo.
But, yeah. The talk was good, but I really, really, really can't see Alyx holding on for much longer. I mean, injured and fever and everything, she's not going to live whether she survives to the final ten or eight or not.
Bye Marlee, can't say I'll miss you, but Chaos is right, the wound sapped your personality... great, now I feel bad about being mean because she's dead D;
Right, Top Eight?!
I think that, either way, Andras, Phi, Sawyer, Knox, Inez and possibly Damien are definitely making it. Kalen might as well, unless his and Phi's plan blows up in their faces, or Phi turns on him like I would expect him to do. Desire could but then, if she does, Ainsley more than likely won't. She'd probably grow more without him, whereas Ainsley's development seems dependent on his relationship with Desire... Rhain could do it as well, seeing as she's not injured or anything. And yeah, Aedan, because he's stronger than my baby!
I really do see Shiloh and Alyx dying before the Top Eight. Desire or Ainsley will as well, I reckon.
However, my choice for Top Eight would be... Desire, Andras, Phi, Sawyer, Shiloh, Aedan, Inez, Knox and Rhain. I feel bad, but I'm staring to... dare I say it... like(?) Damien a little. ONLY A LITTLE.
Pfft, hmm. Alyx, more than likely. Shiloh or Aedan, since they're sitting ducks, or even Knox or Inez due to the island!
I think the Anti-Careers and Careers are safe, seeing as their dramatic show has ended.
Woo, more chapters please :)
| ImmyRose chapter 23 . 8/27/2013
Like I said, I am now reviewing. I haven't reviewed anything in a while, so this might be all over the place and not make much sense xD
Desire: It seems like her eating disorder's starting to kick in again for her. I like how she thinks about it naturally and isn't brushed aside as her "just being really thin" or having her think about it all the time as she would naturally be used to it and wouldn't view it as odd. Anyway, she's become less arrogant ever since Melilith gave her so much responsibility, and doesn't seem as sure of her chances or her place in the Careers anymore, so she's starting to grow on me more now that she's less set in her overconfident ways. She's not trying to be the leader anymore and is just trying to stay out of the spotlight without seeming too weak. Her and Ainsley's interactions are nice; they aren't overly trusting and Desire's kind of trying to use him to get further, so I like that about the District One tributes. Desire's such a damsel in distress though, having to rely on her allies - mainly Ainsley - so much XD
Phi: I have to admit that I was one of those people who was expecting this fight to be more significant than it actually was with, like, three people dead, but I still enjoyed reading it. It wasn't awkwardly described and I could imagine the scene in my head pretty well. Phi's just as arrogant as ever, just strolling around and ordering his allies to attack the Careers he deems to be 'easier' to kill as opposed to actually doing much damage (aside from stabbing Desire). And he thinks he's some sort of professional now -.- No, you took a Peacekeeper off-guard with a brick and stabbed your district partner - that's hardly assassin-level killing. I like his character as he's interesting and you rarely see a psychopath from Three, but he's ridiculous at times.
Phi is so easily bored and reckless, just throwing away one of his weapons out of boredom and allowing Marlee to be killed by Damien. I can't exactly say I'm going to miss Miss Stark, seeing as I wanted her to die, so I can't complain there. You're killing off characters that I don't like here (first Melilith, now Marlee), so good job on that there ;D Maybe her death will result in more character development for Damien and get him to stop acting like a complete jerk? That would be nice.
In any case, Andras and his merry band of morons don't have Marlee holding them back now, although I don't see them doing much harm to anyone else but themselves for a while, what with Phi and Kalen scheming against Andras.
Rhain: I like this alliance, and Rhain's POV was a nice contrast from the manipulations and scheming happening in the Careers and the anti-Careers xD It's nice to see two girls who aren't trying to use each other, even though their friendship is a little more awkward now with them both harbouring secrets. I think there's some tension there that might be of some relevance in the Games later on, seeing as both are becoming more independent from each other. The fact that Alyx was uninhibited by the pain medicine and that Rhain gave away those little clues about Hope in her sleep seem more realistic than both of them just rambling about themselves to each other like some authors do, so I liked that part of the chapter. The italicized sections of Rhain's were really nice too. I'm probably wrong here, seeing as I'm not a Harry Potter fanatic, but I'm guessing that's a side-effect of the Dementors attacking her earlier?
I prefer Alyx out of the two right now; her character has more room for development in my eyes and her personality sticks out more from another POV than Rhain's does.
As for upcoming deaths, I think Phi and Kalen might blame Andras for his failed attack on the Careers and try and attack him, so one of them might die in the process. I see something bad happening to Aedan and Shiloh sometime soon, since they haven't encountered many mutts or other tributes yet. It's hard to predict though xD I want Knox and Inez to stick around as they might face something in their part of the arena and end up allying out of convenience that way, which would be awesome as they both manage to stick out despite being loners. As for who I want to die to reach the top ten, I want Sawyer, Kalen and either Alyx/ Rhain or Aedan/ Shiloh. Not that I dislike the last four, just that I don't see both alliances remaining stable for much longer.
| MyrtleFalls chapter 23 . 8/27/2013
Ooh, top eight! Exciting! Let's see, who's left? Alyx, Rhain, Knox, Esther, Shiloh, Aedan, Desire, Ainsley, Andras, Phi, Kalen, Sawyer, Damien...I think that's it. So there's thirteen now, which means five will have to go before we're down to eight...so my guess is that the final eight will have Alyx, Esther, Ainsley, Andras, Phi, Sawyer, Kalen, and Aedan.
Desire's not eating and now she has a gaping hole in her thigh...she won't be around for long is my guess. As annoying as she was in the beginning, though, I'm starting to feel sympathetic for her. She knows that she's way over her head.
Phi's as creepy as ever. Gotta say, I was mad at him when Marlee died and he was like, "Huzzah, we have a useful alliance now!" I liked Marlee! I totally understand why she died...but at the same time, it's sad. She was cool. Also, Andras is going to be sad because he seemed to sort of care for Marlee like a younger sister, despite the harsh front he tried to put up.
Rhain...I'm still not sure what to think of her. I like that she cares for Alyx, because Alyx needs that, but at the same time, I think her character's gotten a little stale.
*sniff* I will miss Marlee...
| jakey121 chapter 23 . 8/27/2013
I can't get you, Teddy and Megan reading this chapter over skype out of my head XD That was amazing. From now on you guys have to do that!
Desire- "He plunges it into me, making me scream." Kinky ;) I really liked Desire in this chapter, she's thankful that now that Melody is gone that she's kind of laying low in the pack, the others aren't expecting so much out of her. The conversation with Ainsley was great, I much prefer him through someone else's POV. I enjoyed that you showed her fear about the fact that she isn't actually that strong, and if she's going to win she kind of needs to find another way of doing it. And now the fight begins, I've been excited for this for a while! :D
Phi- I hate to fight back but some people's reviews irritate me that I have to say something, that person who mentioned he had to right to stab Desire... WHAT DO YOU EXPECT? It's the Hunger Games, if you want to win he has the right to stab anyone -.- Anywayyy I actually like Phi, sure he's all arrogant and that but he's tough and knows what he's doing so he kind of has the right to tell people what to do if they're not doing well. Phi's annoying but he's one of the only characters left in this alliance that is interesting, AT LEAST MARLEE IS DEAD! I don't remember her personality outside of moaning about her finger, so I'm really happy!
Rhain- I'm probably biased but I prefer these two girls to Shiloh and Aedan, I don't wanna compare them but anyway, they're awesome but I think Rhain and Alyx...well they both depend on each other and like each other, but it's like there's a rift forming and Rhain is starting to focus more on her own survival. I just think alone I'd still like Alyx and Rhain xD Anyway, I like that Rhain doesn't enjoy the fact Alyx is kind of having to step up to look after her when Rhain is usually the one who does the caring, I can't wait to see what happens with these two! I do hope both make it to the final eight but we'll see :D
And, any predictions for upcoming deaths? So there's 13 tributes left? I can't exactly remember, erm I'll just say who I think will die so you can reach your top ten xD I want Damien, Kalen and Knox. I think it will be Damien or Ainsley, any one out of Rhain, Alyx, Shiloh or Aedan and then Knox.
| Thomas J. Flynn chapter 23 . 8/27/2013
I enjoyed this brief and entertaining chapter, lotta action here and best of all no filler which can be a real problem in SYOTs
| PenMagic chapter 23 . 8/27/2013
Oh I really liked how it turned out, the description of the action was good and it all made good sense. The flashbacks in Rhian' s POV made it much more interesting.