Reviews for The 18th: Standing in their Graves
DA Member Hogwarts chapter 21 . 8/7/2013
Kalen Ram: 'I'm bored.' My thoughts... 'me too, Kalen, buddy. OF YOU!' LOL I am a loser.
Kalen just grinds my gears. The best thing about this pov was Phi and Andras and their amazing banter as always xD I love how full of himself Phi was here for once. He is usually just dark and brooding and miserable but he seemed upbeat SLIGHTLY for once... of course the thing that made him upbeat was bragging about murdering a peace-keeper but hey it's Phi and you take what ya get from him.
Kalen is so stupid. He'll either be betrayed by Phi or killed by Andras when he attempts to follow out this plan, Phi will not do anything to save Kalen or help him out. Kalen is just such a selfish and one-dimensional character that no matter how well you write him, I'll never like him XD.

Ainsley: I am glad the careers are making plans to get rid of Lilith. It wouldn't make sense if they just sat by content and let this unstable girl who was recently just revealed her true identity just take over.
There is no way Sawyer would ever be happy about Lilith haha. I don't know why they're so worried- all of them against a tiny and crazy girl? It shouldn't be so hard but I'll bet she'll take Desire down in the fight and Ainsley of course will go back on his word and not help at all. AInsley is so... strange? He is sometimes guiltless but then does show a conscience but never in a typical way. The act of killing does not get to him at all yet it's the moments beforehand. Strange, but interesting though I am still not a big fan of him.

Poor girls! Unlike us Harry Potter fans, they'd have NO clue what is going on. A dementor attack is an amazing idea for a mutt. Imagine how a tribute in the arena would be affected. Dementors are symbolic of depression and despair in the way they grip a person's mind and make them believe there will be no way out and no more happiness and imagine that coming into play in a place where you already have lost so much hope. Rhain's reaction was fantastic and it was nice to see Alyx being the strong one here and she proved she can look out for Rhain just as much as Rhain can be strong for her. I still love their alliance.

Inez: She is finally going to take action. I like her last line a lot! She has finally found something to make her test her code and the rigid life-style she has led. I knew she'd began to think about Isadora and to question both of their life-styles and wonder maybe if she had gotten it all so wrong for so long. I think Inez needs to make an escape quickly as there is no doubt the munchkins will turn evil, she has already noticed their claws. It's so creepy and strange how they just repeat the same generic conversations and appear to shut off when Inez isn't looking! Small details like that really make a story as it makes the mutts seem so sinister.

An other awesome chapter m'dear. I look forward to the next one :D
Anime'sPrincess chapter 21 . 8/7/2013
Sorry this will be short! I will comment on each section. I'm still on vacation and I am betting this WiFi will disconnect any moment soon but anyway, I'll do my best.

I fully agree with the review stating that you can really weave a story well. Your stories are always so well constructed. They are unpredictable yet always end up being realistic and making sense. You never just go for the obvious or what'll please the readers and you seem to care a lot about making the story exciting and well thought out until the very end. Even this more slowed down and internal chapter was wonderful and it did, as you said, set up some future plots!

Kalen: So he is bored. Figures. Someone like him would like to keep busy and be in the thick of the action. He is a bit naive for trusting Phi and conspiring with him but still, it should be interesting to see it play out.
I dislike how much Kalen boasts about himself and how he is self-sufficient and does not need his father. He just sounds like a bitter and spoiled brat haha xD and he is just as bad as his father seeing as he steals and cons himself.

Inez: I feel some excitement for her character as she slowly but surely becomes braver and is seemingly ready to test her own set limits and boundaries and maybe even discard some morals.
It is realistic that while Inez would love to stay true to herself somehow, she still counts her survival as more important. I do think most real people would do anything to survive in such a situation! People are not all goody two shoes and saints right down to the core. I think she may struggle and have regrets if she comes through it but I am enjoying her development.

Alyx: Her section was my favorite and not just as she is allies with my own tribute but for the dementor attack.
You described the feeling when they took over amazingly well from Alyx's point of view and you also showed the heavy effect they can have on your mind and sanity, shown through Rhain's outburst. This section was haunting.

As I have said I am tiring of the careers already and I think Sawyer's plan could be a ploy against her allies. For all we know, she has been conspiring with Lilith to take the others down and is only trying to fool them. But saying that, I do think someone like Sawyer would detest someone like Lilith just taking over leadership and the plan could well be a real one. It is so early and risk to plan something like this so I can't wait for the out come. Ainsley is seriously lacking as a tribute and character to me. Even his slight bloodlust and lack of guilt when killing didn't really interest me.

Amazing chapter, Chaos!
MyrtleFalls chapter 21 . 8/6/2013
Ooh, dementors! I was right (well, a lot of people were right)! I wonder how that's going to work out...I mean, it's not like the tributes can cast Patronuses. Although I did just have a sudden image of Alyx and Rhain cornered by a dementor, only to have a magic wand sent down as a sponsor gift.

And possible subplots? There were a lot of subplots here. Kalen and Phi are planning to kill Andras (although it made me mad that they called Marlee useless-I like Marlee!), the Careers are planning to kill Lilith (not going to work, saying that outright: they'll probably just injure her, and chase her out of the Careers-but they won't kill her, and she'll be back for revenge, especially against Desire (unless she already killed Desire during the mutiny)), and Inez is figuring out the secrets of Munchkinland. I have a feeling that if she stops doing yard work, they're going to turn on her and turn into evil, evil mutts.

Anyway, I'm really excited for what's going to happen next! You really know how to spin a story.

Guest chapter 21 . 8/6/2013
What, are phi and kalen planning to take down andras? :o ah the careers are planning to kill Lilith! Can't say i'm too upset, she grinds on my nerves. I wonder what's going to happen with Inez and the munchkins. No doubt they will turn on her since they're capitol mutts, but i'm still interested to see what they'll do,
JabberjayHeart chapter 21 . 8/5/2013

Hmm. Okay. Maybe, just maybe... I'm warming up to Kalen. I still don't like him nearly as much as the other characters, but he grew here, and I kind of liked the little... bonding, between himself and Phi.
I'm starting to wonder about Kalen, though. Is his past that dark? I mean, I remember pieces of it, but...

About time!
So they want to take Lilith off of her pedestal. Sawyer thinking of it, though... I'm not surprised, but at the same time, I imagine her playing them. Kill Lilith when she least expects it? Sawyer might actually kill one of the others instead. I know Lilith is mental and all that, but Sawyer is deceptive, we all know that.
Desire is still weak, lmao. Teddy creates such damsel-in-distress.
Ainsley, you protect her. His character is falling flat, but it's nice that he has a sense of strength for Desire. Explains Elmo's death much more clearer now.

And then Alyx.
I like this alliance a lot, besides my own!
Are they on the train? I might've missed it, but yeah, feels like it. Their descriptions are so haunting :o
I feel like Alyx will die soon. She's practically disabled, in a weird sense. She'll rely on Rhain too much and the subplot of child-mother is seeming more solid.

These munchkins... I'm sure they are disturbed. They'll attack with razor-sharp teeth :o
I like Inez. Her character has altered slightly, but in a good way, like character growth. Seeing Noalee's death and her thoughts on Aedan were soooooo adorable.
Inez, join them?!

So yeah. No deaths, but that's cool. Alyx is probably soon... and Marlee. They are my predictions, though I'm hoping it's either Marlee or Kalen. Maybe Damien, but he's not so aggravating anymore.
Tear That Cherry Out chapter 21 . 8/5/2013
Kalen- I really don't like the fact he and Phi are trying to dothere own little thing. Kalen is fine, but Phi is just creepy. And they all think Marlee is useless. She got her fingers cut off! What else would he do? She can't hold a weapon without fingers!

Ainsley- He is ok. It's nice of him to be helping Desire when she is feeling bad. But he will probably be the one killing her. Maybe not, since he is Ainsley. Not Lillith or Sawyer, just Ainsley.

Alyx- That part scared me. The decaying skin and skeletal hand. And Rhain, her facing the Peacekeeper who raped her. Poor girl. These are a great alliance, but I'm not sure it is best for them to stay in the Hogwarts dining room.

Inez- I love Inez, and I don't know why. She wasn't really a stand out character, but she is still great. It is confusing, she isn't really that great and heroic, or doesn't have a terrible background. Just likable, I suppose.
jakey121 chapter 21 . 8/5/2013
Everyone misses updates Chaos, don't worry about it :)

Kalen- I'm 50/50 with this alliance, whilst I like Andras and am actually starting to like Phi, I do not like Kalen and Marlee is just... nothing. I'm confused why Kalen and Phi are talking so openly about their illegal actions back in the district, it's in character, especially for someone like Phi but won't the authorities get to them if either win? I mean they're probably not thinking that far ahead so there's no harm in being honest but if either win they'll have to deal with whatever happens now people know their past. I like Andras's reluctance to start something straight away, like Phi pointed out it isn't laziness, he just wants to make sure everything is perfect before starting something that could potentially kill the entire alliance. Kalen... he's interesting but just not for me.

Ainsley- I haven't been a massive fan of Ainsley but I loved this POV. Especially Desire's conversation with him. I never thought these two were so close, I don't think they are, but Ainsley is showing humanity especially by saying he'll protect her should Lilith try anything. Ainsley's views on killing is very interesting, it's not the aftermath of the killing that effects him, the killing is the actual relief because it's the before bit that is tearing him apart. That's actually so different and I kinda love it xD I think I'm starting to like Ainsley just a little, I love Sawyer so I hope that this plan does work and they can get rid of Lilith and resume the old career pack with Sawyer as the leader. It would be funny if the anti-careers reached the careers just as their own fight began, it would be a lot of action with the careers fighting amongst themselves and then the anti-careers joining in the fight!

Alyx- IT WAS A DEMENTOR! Dammit those things have always terrified me! I'm just glad it wasn't Voldemort xD Or who knows, maybe he'll show up. I want Alyx and Rhain to get wands, LOL that's ridiculous but that would be so funny if they could kill tributes with a wand xD Anyway I like Alyx's child-like state with the pain, it's just extremely realistic but if it wasn't for Rhain I think she would have given up with the agony but because of her she knows she has to act strong, I think she can do this. I think she can master the pain and not let it take over her. If she can be the Alyx she is with the poor kids she could do well! It was good that there was a quick reversal of roles at the end, Rhain being the one who needs to be looked after but Alyx still pretty shaken up. I think these two girls have been through enough, probably alongside Aedan and Shiloh they've had the worst experience in the Arena so far, I want them to have a break, but this is the Hunger Games after all and such luxuries don't happen :D

Inez- Although of course Inez seems to be having the best time compared to the other tributes. She has a little house she can stay in and a bed to sleep on. I like the light hearted nature of this POV, with her just planting stuff and watering flowers, but it's also mixed in with a lot more darker aspects to what's going on. The notice of the claws on the lady, I see these munchkins attacking her if she does something wrong, or just attacking her anyway. Also there's the fact that yes she's not been doing much so the Gamemakers will want something to happen with her, and then probably my favourite part was the whole conflict about morality and finding the balance. I think Inez can do it, if she wants to survive she needs to do what she can to find that part of her that could take her far and not just be the polite Inez.

This was such a great chapter Chaos and I'm really looking forward to the next one! :)
Anla'shok chapter 21 . 8/5/2013
Lol Kalen is all like "Phi, you killed someone, how cool!" They're all insane. Phi was actually almost likeable here and I also like how they're not pretending to be friends or have some sudden unexplainable loyalty to each other. They're plotting and that's fun. Andras had better beware, but I see Kalen and Phi switching sides anytime they feel they can gain from it. Marlee is almost dead, I'm finding Kalen a little mild about that, she didn't choose her alliance well, because even Andras won't jeopardize his victory for her at this stage.
Phi's a shameless show off, and I wonder how the news is being taken in . Clementine might not get away with it anymore.

Why do the Careers separate to explore? That's foolish, it's the best way to get killed. I liked Desire and how she realizes it's all so much bigger than her. Ainsley too, because just like the poor people who laugh hysterically at funerals (even if they're sad), I imagine that reactions to killing vary, and it's nice to see him concerned over that.

You're mixing dementors and boggarts. Dementors summon back a specific memory, Alix shouldn't hear her parents screaming as she dies because it's a fear, not a memory. Unless the Capitol's dementors are just a special brand of jabberjays supposed to trigger fear by screaming like the tribute's loved ones do. Cool idea anyhow.
It's odd that Alyx would think her parents will be ashamed. Sad and maybe betrayed yes, but ashamed? At this stage, finding out their daughter played with poorer kids won't be such a big deal, no? The parents didn't seem that snob in the reapings.
I feel so sorry for Rhain and Alyx now.

Inez is a good character because she shows why the choice is hard. The fact she's stuck watering plants amidst cheerful (or eerie) robots feels surreal, but hey, for now she's safe. Are they feeding her?
PenMagic chapter 21 . 8/5/2013
Oooh, how curious. I really like the way you did this and the plots that are being created are very well written. I can't wait to see how they go!
Sophie chapter 20 . 8/4/2013
The next section of the arena was from The Lord of the flies, oh cool! that was a really good book. Aw poor noalee. Update soon, i just realized there's no chapters left!
Sophie chapter 19 . 8/4/2013
I have to say, if i was sawyer, I'd roll over and kill Lilith in her sleep. no one would have to bow down to her if she was dead.
Sophie chapter 19 . 8/4/2013
What a creative arena!
Sophie chapter 18 . 8/4/2013
NOOO Calder! Elmo! Barke! Eris! aw i'm sad. i liked those characters. :( this bloodbath made me sad, there were so many good tributes and tragic deaths. sigh.
Sophie chapter 17 . 8/4/2013
Aw it was nice to hear from newt again :) AH the bloodbath is next eeeeh!
Sophie chapter 16 . 8/3/2013
If i recall correctly, i said i wasn't crazy about andras because he was a career, and now he leaves the careers, haha ironic huh. yeah good story so far, i'm excited to see the arena and know who dies in the bloodbath. I hope Elmo doesn't become that big of a target because of his high score.
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