|Reviews for The 18th: Standing in their Graves|
| Thgfan9 chapter 12 . 3/30/2013
I get why you'd want to try new things in your writing so it is important to chose a variety of different types of tributes and I am happy you chose to do so.
Knox is a super cool name but Blake sort of ruins it :/ Oh well, I guess names don't matter that much.
I don't mind Knox as a younger tribute goes he is interesting with the many quirky things together that make him who he is.
I think his gran was the coolest part of the chapter though!
I like how Knox is kinda socially awkward and even a bit eccentric, what am I saying, I actually really like this kid. On principle I never get too into the youngsters or support them because usually they are rather whiny and pitiful or either they are just so cute and vulnerable I don't want to get involved as it'd be too tragic when they die. Man, I'm not making much sense but I am trying to say I like Knox and how you portrayed him- I love when you tell stories or showcase dreams and stuff in the povs.
And on to Rhain, I actually find the name pretty cool and it suits her background, wasn't she supposed to be kinda middle-class? I think it's one of those bohemian, odd names that those type of parents would choose and I like Miller as it is more normal and it compliments the name Rhain.
Anyway I feel she isn't the average parent. I kind of detest the whole teenage parent tribute thing but it's you here so hello? it'lld be made original and awesome and I do like the darker aspect to Rhain's past and how she became pregnant, I mean it's terrible but great for a story and there are so many ways you can develop Rhain so I'm excited to see how her journey goes.
I do feel conflicted on her as she is just an other freakin' parent tribute but the creator seemed to think everything through well and make her much more original than that and her depression and desperation really came across to me.
Wow, this review was jumbled up but I did love the chapter incase that didn't come across.
Probably one of the more intriguing districts as they were unique and authentic at the same time- neither felt too forced or too odd.
Can't wait for more.
| Anime'sPrincess chapter 12 . 3/30/2013
District nine second to last but not least!
I was curious about Rhain's District partner and I have to say I really adore him. I'm not one usually for the overly cute and young tribute's but Knox is rather cool for a 13 year old boy and not to mention his name is pretty epic.
I loved the tale between him and his Grandmother, it had me chuckling and I loved Knox little awkward responses.
I also like the aspect of his parental history. Not many tribute's have peacekeepers as family members and it is intersting that Knox still has some contact with his father even if it is minimal and I wished we could have seen an itneraction between the two.
I truly appreciate how you have initially portayed Rhain and I am very pleased with it and I particularly liked the conversation with Robin and Rhain. Robin's thoughts about not losing yourself being just as important as winning were very well done and not something people often tackle during the goodbyes as it is usually just 'please do all that you can to win.' So I liked that a lot.
I for one, loved how you had Rhain reflect back on her important life moments after her reaping- it felt right for Rhain and I hope once people see more of her they'll understand her personality and problems better but seeing as I know all about her I have to say this portrayl was next to perfect.
I am truly anticipating the Capitol chapters now to see these tributes grow and interact with each other but I am looking forward to our last reaping too.
| JabberjayHeart chapter 12 . 3/30/2013
This was an interesting district!
District Nine has always been a favourite of mine due to not being known much during canon, but also because you get some really interesting but sedated tributes. Nine always, to me at least, has interesting tributes that get shadowed by the likes of Careers or outer-tributes with problems...
Knox Blake. I don't particularly like the name together, but apart they sound fine. It sounds a little heavy on my tongue, if that makes sense! I love the fact that he's small and seems rather genuine. He's not like a hidden psychopath, but rather a genuine character, much like we saw from District Twelve. I appreciate his character loads, and I definitely got a strong sense of his personality here, brought about by his conversation with his grandma! Yes. Besides the name, I'll be watching Knox. Not a top favourite, but definitely a character I'm going to remember and watch!
And then we head onto Rhain. The name sounds... different. I'm guessing it's suppose to be like Rain or Rahne, but spelled differently. Her story is quiet compelling, I must admit. I've seen tons of parents going into the Games now - definitely hitting the cliché mark - but this has a nice added twist to it... I can't tell much of Rhain's personality outside of her backstory - since she seems quite broken and, obviously, emotional - and that took most of her POV, so besides that side of her character, I don't really know. But I agree with your note. It's always nice as the author to actually test yourself with different kinds of characters, no matter how cliché... we all, at some point, need the parent or the twelve-year-old psychopath or the evil Career or the sociopath hidden behind a smile... it's, like, required for us! xD
Out of the two, I prefer Knox, but Rhain's story is interesting enough to make me want to see more of her!
One more district left... I'm super excited! :p the Capitol is always fun to read, painful to write. The bringing about of alliances will be great, as well as the district-partnership between the tributes will be like. Your writing, as always, is straight to the point with enough detail to make you want more!
Well done Chaos, this is my longest review but you deserve it because it's awesome, psych-ward buddaaaay! :D
| Foxface5 chapter 12 . 3/30/2013
Oh my gosh! Finally my baby is here :D
You did not let me down and you made him just so perfectly I just wanna hug him XD and I agree witht he review about his grandma XD I love her, you made her even more awesome.
I liked everything about his section and I've never had a tribute I made come so to life before (apart from Bay in RRD whom I also adored.)
So amazing job on him. I am going to cry my eyes out again when my tribute in one of your stories dies... great.
And I completly disagree about the format for revealing Rhain's past being dull or a poor way of displaying her- I found it mezmerising, somewhat addictive and it was effective for Rhain to have her life flashback in her mind when being reaped and taking away from her daughter- it made me love her.
Also I feel the fact that she doesn't have a very prominent personality is due to the fact she is so numbed and her depression is the main thing about her and has really taken over her which I find really has a lot of impact in a story. I feel so sorry for her- her life has truly changed and she's had to age way too quickly.
I can't wait to see Knox and Rhain interact together and for District 11 and well just everything!
| truces chapter 12 . 3/30/2013
Knox's grandma is a BAMF. Seriously, make a side story about just her? Please? XD I don't think he'll last long though.
Okay, at first when I was reading Rhain (ugh, that name though) I thought she would be a total Mary-Sue. I like the fact that her parents kicked her out for having a child. But, idk, besides her child she really doesn't have any real personality? At least, I didn't get any from this chapter. Also, a critique on your writing - during Rhain's section it was too much telling and not enough showing. I wish that her back story could have been revealed more subtly and with more suspense rather than 'here's what happened in my life hurr durr'. Also, the 'I remember. I remember Xxx' format got really tiring. :/
Last reaping is next! Really excited to continue with this story. :)
| nb1998 chapter 9 . 3/30/2013
Nice chapter and some more good tributes to add to the batch.
Inez: Not my favourite tribute so far, her personality is quite normal though and I like it when there is normal tributes. She's sweet because she's trying to help her Mother and Father who clearly have enough on their hands with the troublesome sister. You can tell at times Inez just wants to be free but she thinks she lives in a world she can't escape which is true. I think her friendship is quite cute but she seems to be quite a socially awkward person. Maybe she'll let go a bit before she dies.
Aedan: In ways I think he's quite similar to Inez and I can just picture them in a nice alliance together and him helping her to let go a bit. He also seems quite socially awkward but I think it's because he doesn't understand when people are using him. His obsession with horses was a nice touch and I did like how he seemed to look on the bright side of life. I think he'll be playing a cheeky angle and I do quite like him because like Inez he's nice and normal.
| Theon Baejoy chapter 12 . 3/30/2013
District Nine, hey Grain! I love District 9 ;D they is ma second home next to Ten.
Anyway, I agree with your author's note: the hipsters of the ff world will be like 'a mom tribute? That's so mainstream, dude.' I must be mainstream because I love Rhain.
I adore her. Okay... I haven't read about many tribute's whose background includes... non consensual intercourse (I dont want to outward use the 'R' word ... I just... yeah. I really have such a soft spot for anyone who has gone through this and that is why i find myself rooting for Rhain.
I loved the way the beginning of her pov began with the 'I remember section' it just really felt so... natural and like I was reminicissing with her. I really felt like her narrative voice spoke to me.
Okay, she is a mother but so much more. Her story does feel more authentic and effective. It's not like the creator just threw in there that she has a kid- it means something to her character.
I loved reading about her transittion from naive, middle class girl without a care to a girl who has suffered so much and is now bitter toward the world. I think this was excellently done so well done to both you and her creator. Rhain is my favourite female tribute along with Inez.
And Knox is amazingly cute. Olive would love this 'little'. He is one of the young and innocent ones though he still seems very aware and isn't too naive. I loved his relationship with his family, it was so genuine and nice to read about. Knox is pretty awkward and funny XD I loved the story between him and his grandma.
Both of these tributes have been effected by the peacekeepers of the District. I haven't read about many tributes with a parent who is just not around for them- usually they are dead or they just don't have a great relationship with their child so that was a nice detail of Knox's life.
I get the sense he has never had much friends and relies on his imagination which I love in characters and I can relate to.
So overall, I loved District 9 has probably been my favorite District along with 8 (for Shiloh), 6 and 10 :)
You're writing just makes me so obsessive girl, it's scary.
I can't wait to see what ole District 11 has to offer.
| nb1998 chapter 8 . 3/30/2013
Interesting district, not what I really expected from each of them. I have to say your writing is so descriptive and all the scenes seem to flow so well, each person thinks differently and all the characters are portrayed so uniquely.
Calder: Hmm.. I can't say he's one of my favourite characters and I much preferred Sawyer. He was okay I guess, I just got a bit bored of all the slang words and just the surfing and stuff.. it all seemed a bit stereotypical for a District Four male, funny, surfer.. etc etc. That doesn't mean I don't like that personality because I actually found him quite funny it was just the fact it seemed a little stereotypical. Since he's not a volunteer I'll be interested to see if he joins the career tributes or not.
Sawyer: Probably one of the most unique reasons I have seem for a career training and then volunteering. I like how she still has the basis of the manipulative girl and this was shown really well when she was talking to the peacekeeper. This also shows she has brains to come up with that idea. I loved her goodbyes, the whole reason behind it was just great and I'm already looking forward to seeing what she gets up to in the Capitol.
| Anla'shok chapter 12 . 3/30/2013
. Even Capitol citizens are like sheep.
Then who is responsible for Panem's welfare? Or is this to show that Knox takes his life as it goes, not feeling entitled to better and happy with what is? He's adorable without being weak. His shy but polite demeanor is endearing and his relationship with his family feels very genuine.
I didn't catch how old he was.
Usually the tributes with kids had them willingly and the district hates them on principle. This seems more realistic. I wonder how a depressed tribute will fare. I doubt the will to survive alone will make her snap out of it, but maybe being depressed will make the 'true' horror seem less bad. I also like that she was flattered at first by the peacekeeper's attention, because it's sadly real.
What I'd have liked to see was the father coming at the goodbye scene. And frankly, I don't see why the mother kicked her out. This isn't some self-righteous extremist christian (I'm stressing extremist) who believes letting your own (victim!) kid rot is the right thing to do because OMG she's not pure anymore and she probably asked for it. I'd like to see parents with a conscience every once in a while.
| Jael.Rice.1 chapter 10 . 3/29/2013
Noalee: I'm surprised that we have two rich girls who are rebellious. It's easy to see where she and Alyx are similar. The fact that Noalee is good at fighting shows that she is strong and capable. I wonder how she and Alyx will play off of each other.
Kalen: He has an interesting way of viewing the world. His snarky observations are pretty funny in some parts. So it'll be fun to read his point of views as he goes through his Games.
To be honest, I'm getting kind of sick of thieves. There's not one SYOT story without one.
| Jael.Rice.1 chapter 9 . 3/29/2013
I almost forgot I had a character here.
Inez: Is a pretty interesting character. I like how she is someone who is very serious and who takes charge of the situation. She is very responsible, and I can see that aiding her as a leader. It's sad to see that her family is dysnfuctional (or, her sister is dysfunctional) but it also feels realistic in that there are families like that.
Aedan: I'm guessing that Aedan is a younger tribute. He is very adorable though. He has a bubbly, happy personality. Time will tell what will happen to him, but so far, he is extremely likable.
| LexisZ-10 chapter 11 . 3/28/2013
Sorry I'm late with my review! This story is brilliant, the tributes of the 17th are still close to my heart and I'm still attatched to them all even the crazy ones but I have a good feeling about the 18th and it may be an even better story if that is possible!
I'm not surprised Teddy made Desire :) He made an awesome d1 female back in the 13 days.
Anyway, Desire does interest me. Not only is she sly and beautiful and slightly obsessive like most 1 females, she has other depths to her and more possible angles to explore. I too think she has a disorde of some type and this opens many developments for her. I like her a lot even if her thoughts are somewhat aggrivating and overly arrogant though that just works with the character.
Ainsley is nothing but cool and refined. He is a good tribute as a whole yet next to the other careers this year he pales a little but that is just the first impression, he could surprise me. I like his attitude and general voice a lot more than Desires but as a character he isn't as intriguing or complex just yet.
I loved the additional characters.
Can't wait for more!
| SparrowCries chapter 10 . 3/28/2013
I really loved this chapter. Two more tributes I am rooting for.
Noalan (I spelled that wrong sorry) Was fun to read about and she seems to have a good head on her shoulders and I don't remember any other tribute who was dating someone so that was fun to read about. With all the talk of gangs and all it came as a complete shock when I realized she is the mayor's daughter. That was an awesome twist that I think shocked us all unless we already knew. Good job :) And good job to the creator because I find myself rooting for her. I hope she an go far in the Games.
Kalen was awesome, the way he thinks was no only beautifully written but it really gave a clear few of how he sees things and in many ways I guess I can agree with what he thinks so right there is something that make me like him but also the thief thing and his interaction with James was brilliant. I admit thieves are getting common but I think it works well on Kalen.
| Cashmere67 chapter 5 . 3/27/2013
Shiloh: I like the name, but I probably am pronouncing it wrong.. I like him and his family, and I liked his opinions and thoughts on all of that. He is relatable, with his self-harm and internal issues. I like even more because he is creative, and even though he feels like he can't stand up for himself, he isn't pitiful. I want to see more of him, since I don't have a full opinion on him just yet.
Visca: okay well here I get all dsgfadfgdfgadg
I'm not a big fan of the name.. Yes, the dream was interesting and emotional, but that was the only thing that I remember about her and liked about her. The nose thing irked me x.x Like.. District Eight hello the tenement-textile-urbanized District okay and I guess her family can afford a fake nose but ? Doesn't seem right to me.. maybe it's because I convince myself that D8 is full of poor, impoverished people, but still. I'm not a big fan of that little thing about Visca. You wrote her feelings and thoughts well, but eh. Still not a big fan of her.
Well, I like Shiloh more, but both of them aren't my favorites or anything.
| SparrowCries chapter 9 . 3/27/2013
…. OCD much? IT IS JUST SEVENTEEN MINUTES GIRL! Anyway Inez is an interesting name. She is so contrasting to her sister and with her all order and listen part of her will definitely be oh so amazing to read about in the Arena because she could go crazy or die because of her morals or maybe she will change? Who knows? You do… but anyway her character development is another that will be killer to read about. Her sister is annoying but in the way intended which is a good thing. The part where she says she is afraid to die and all was always nice and so was her reaction to being reaped. Good character but not my favorite. I think so far my favorite are the two from D4 and the girl from D5, maybe even the boy from 7.
Aedan seems very active and friendly but considering the fact Inez said he "teased the cameras, making faces, almost dancing his way to the stage." I am going to have to question his sanity. HA! If that jerk Fergal was an animal hey would be a donkey… you know because donkeys are also jacka*** CAPTAIN OBVIOUS to the rescue to remind people of donkey's second name. Which is why I never understood why the democrat's symbol was a donkey… and also what is with the elephant? Honestly who was in charge of picking out those animal symbols? Okay sorry back on topic I really love how much Aedan loves animals and all it is very nice to see and I still don't understand why he reacted so well at the reaping… time to find out! OK now I understand… nice ending there that one line really had lots of emotion.
Awesome job! Sorry if I was too random in this review I am just really bored (not from reading just in real life I haven't been able to get my energy out lately…)