Reviews for The 18th: Standing in their Graves
Spartan Army chapter 33 . 11/10/2013
;0. I just don't know what to say. I did cry. For Shiloh. For Andras. And for Inez too. Great story. Are you going to do the 19th Games? I was really glad Inez won, because I was stuck between Andras and Inez winning. Great story!
jakey121 chapter 33 . 11/10/2013
Shiloh- Perfect setting for the finale, the island was always one of my favourite sections of this Arena as so much went on, it wouldn't have worked somewhere else. Especially with these boys and this chant, it just adds to the whole atmosphere with those words being repeated over and over again.
I wouldn't call Shiloh a sob story, he is so much more than his past, although it's always nice to see the stuff he goes through being linked back to the crappy life he did have. The stuff about the arena being the one place he actually makes friends... it really summed up how bad he's had it, I feel sorry for him despite not really connecting with anything he thinks or does. Although, he was a great tribute to have in this finale, he didn't bring much but still his final thought processes were enjoyable (and sad) to read.

Andras- I like this whole debate inside his head about why he enjoyed killing Sawyer so much, because as the chapter continues we see that he doesn't enjoy inflicting pain and just wants to end people's suffering as quickly as possible. It really shows that he wasn't necessarily losing it, but the Games were really having an effect on him and he was desperate to get out and go home. His thoughts on his competition were very career like, which I'm happy about as Andras may not have been part of the careers but he is at heart a career with his training and everything. He didn't stop to think that out of everyone these two made it, he just thought about how easy it was going to be to kill them. Oh Andras :')
The opening to the fight really set the scene for the next POV. RIP Shiloh :'( I'm not going to lie and say that I'll miss you but you were one of the stand out tributes definitely, and the journey you went through was fantastic.

Inez- And the fight continues!
I'll be honest, the stuff about the fire took me a while to understand. I had to re-read it several times, although it was me just being stupid as it clearly says that Inez threw her hands out causing him to stumble. Inez was always going to be the victor. I'm not a massive fan when I can guess who it will be, but I'm still happy it is her and not one of the tributes I wouldn't have liked to see. Her journey is the best you've had, with killing Knox and Rhain (accidentally) to allying with Shiloh and then this fight. It's good to see that Inez didn't best him in a one on one fight, that wouldn't have made sense. It was her fault, but she didn't mean him to have that accident with the fire, so it was a good choice on your part to have him weakened and then Inez deliver the final blow.
All this stuff going on in her head about who is the beast, yep.. ugh, Chaos, you put the best things into each tribute's POV's. Seriously, each and every tribute had their own distinctive voice which makes this one of the best stories I've ever read and why I'm going to miss it so much ;_; (unless of course... you know... you start another one :))

Are you happy with the victor? Did the fight meet/fail/exceed your expectations (did you cry)? Where might Inez go from here?-

I am happy, yes. She wasn't my first choice, but she's still a perfect victor so I can't complain about anything. There was only a few tributes I would have liked to see as victor and she was one of them, so yes I am happy. The fight failed my expectations ;_; LOL nah, it met my expectations because my expectations from you Chaos were pretty high anyway, so this didn't disappoint at all ;D I was interested in how you'd pull it off, with a career so much stronger than the two other tributes, but you did it and it worked perfectly. I didn't cry no, which is strange because I cry all the time, maybe it's because I read this ten minutes after waking up. Inez, I'm excited to see her reunited with her family, but she's done and been through so much, I don't know how she will recover, but I'm hoping she doesn't let it overwhelm her and she tries to piece back together her life.

I can't wait for the next chapter, and the next! ALTHOUGH IT'S NEARLY OVER AND THAT'S NOT FAIR ;_;
Tear That Cherry Out chapter 33 . 11/10/2013

I absolutely adored this story. It was literally my favourite for a VERY long time, and I am ecstatic with the Victor. I thought you were going to kilol her for a moment there, but thankfully you didn't. That battle was so epic and amazing and wonderful and fantastic and ... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I am going to hide back in my shell and cry some more...
PenMagic chapter 33 . 11/10/2013
Yay, Inez won! Did she really only get a three in training? This was a fantastically written last Games chapter, the way that they were written was superb. I liked how Shiloh didn't question following the boys, it was part of his naivety I suppose.
Andras was well put here, the lack of emotion about killing them and a sense of hopelessness was something different to what we had seen from him before.
Inez' POV was really fab, her instincts were purely natural and the fact that she barely knew what she was doing was quite interesting in a way. I presume Andras died from being burnt alive in the fire. That bit wasn't as clear, was there something stopping him from getting out?
I'm sorry to see this so near the end. Happy writing!
MyrtleFalls chapter 32 . 11/7/2013


I am currently in shock. Give me a second or two to recover.


Okay, I think I can review now.

The fight between Andras and Sawyer was so full of tension; that was crazy. You could totally see each one's want to win at the beginning, when they're trading remarks and such, but as it goes on you can tell they just get more and more tired. It's very realistic, and I commend you for that. At the very end, Sawyer seemed so broken...It was so sad! She finally realized that she wouldn't win and that just took the wind straight out of her sails. That entire scene...just wow.

Finally, Inez and Knox. This was sad in a different way. Inez went back to her original decision-that having allies would hurt too much-and she abandoned Shiloh. That was harsh. She could at least have said Shiloh's going to fret. But maybe she didn't want to risk Shiloh convincing her to stay. I don't know.

Anyway, amazing chapter!
Thomas J. Flynn chapter 32 . 11/7/2013
I'm very excited for the finale! Loved the tense fight between Sawyer and Andras followed by the calm morbid reflections of Inez.
Anla'shok chapter 32 . 11/6/2013
"I want to be home, with Daddy, working and flirting with cute guys in the district. "
Sawyer doesn't picture her victor life as much different? She imagines things going back to normal? That's actually interesting. It's like the arena has become an obstacle course and the reason she volunteered faded.
The verbal sparring is brilliant and doesn't take the edge of the actual fight. I think a spear is a terrible close combat choice of a weapon because it's much less easy to wield than a sword, but hey, Sawyer seems to know her thing.
"All this damage was unnecessary, purely evil. This is not the way I work. I don't kill for pleasure."
Except that's not what he did. He wounded her because he failed to place a killing strike earlier. This isn't pleasure, it's survival and it's not like "people back home" will see him as a bloodthirsty murdered for that evenly matched battle. An interesting time to grow a conscience though. Although, it's also an easy time to grow one, since he's "safe" now.
And he falls asleep next to the corpse (they're in the great hall right?). How very Career. lol. Sawyer's weariness at the end was quite poignant, especially since fron Andras' point of view we'll never be sure if it really started as a desperate ploy to get him closer of if she meant all of it.
Inez's leaving makes sense since I don't see her killing Shiloh. Since she's convinced she's "tainted" to an extent by all the kills, she might in desperate rage take it out on Andras and actually kill him (somehow). Then she'd join the list of screwed up victors.
Inez was the sensible girl. She's still a sensible, down to earth girl who doesn't look for excuses but who doesn't go overboard with her principles either. It's a character type many fail to make interesting, and she's great.
I wonder how it'll go now. Andras chasing people? Gollum pushing them to Andras? Andras is wounded and if he's to die, I'd be curious to see a last two between Inez and Shiloh. What can Gamemakers do when the last two standing tributes don't want to kill?
Any victor will do. It's really the how of the victory that the who which interest me.
I liked this story better that the 17th Games. The writing style hasn't changed so much, but the characters are more vivid, the scenes chosen generally more powerful.
Snowy chapter 32 . 11/6/2013
Flight of The Snowy Owl- Wooo hoo good fight against Sawyer and Andras! Bravo! Great chapter, can't wait for the finally. :)
jakey121 chapter 32 . 11/6/2013
One more Games chapter left... I can't believe it's nearly done :'(

Sawyer- One of my favourite things about trained tributes fighting is the way they insult and talk to each other whilst they're trying to kill one another, it always makes me laugh. That stuff about the blunt edges, brilliant XD
Anyway, they were both equally matched, so it makes a lot of sense why the fight dragged on. It was definitely the biggest fight so far to happen, not my favourite fight- that goes to the fight in the previous chapter, but it was so well written and despite the result being predictable, I enjoyed it all the same! Like you said in the obit thing, her past never overshadowed her personality, it's something that I really liked about her, and despite her arrogance and that whole 'I want to be home with daddy' thing, she was still one of my favourites!

Andras- Wow the fight took a while! Like I said, it makes a lot of sense as these two were so equally matched despite his injuries that it wouldn't have just been over straight away. Andras is still my choice for victor, even if it's been obvious who it's going to be for a while now D: All these little things about returning to the District for a reason other than fame and wealth, it makes me like him even more.
I pitied Sawyer so much, her last moments were sad to read. Andras started to lose it a bit, and I like the fact that he realised what he was doing and sort of regretted it. I'm glad that Andras is injured a lot now and tired, as much as I want him to win it makes the finale evenly matched, so the other two can at least put up a fight.

Inez- Rhain's death is effecting Inez, yes that's sad but great to see. Inez is continuing to develop even now which makes her stand out over Shiloh, and which is why I see her as the victor. Andras could be, it's not going to be Shiloh so it's definitely between Inez or Andras. Anyway, I like how her thoughts sometimes seem a little stern towards him, but then she holds it back and regrets the way she's thinking and acting towards him.
The end bit where she ran away suddenly, that was great as it went back to the original Inez who wanted to be alone. She knows Shiloh won't win and she doesn't want to be close to him when he dies, even though I bet the three of them will be drawn together and have to fight on the beach or something. Or maybe all in the Cornucopia room. I'm excited!

Anwayyyy Chaos, great chapter and it sets the finale up well! Update soon definitely, I'm excited to see what you have prepared xD
PenMagic chapter 32 . 11/6/2013
I really liked this chapter, the action was fantastic and the emotions and way of describing what happened was well done.
The ferocity of the Career fight was very fast and I liked how there was a time jump although I was surprised by how long it was. I liked how Sawyer cracked at the end, the child within her that hadn't been shown as much in the story, finally making an appearance.
Inez' s POV seemed a little distant, I liked that as it showed she thought about her actions without going too much in depth. The sudden split was to be expected but I like how sudden it was for Inez without plan as well.
Happy writing Chaos!
Anime'sPrincess chapter 31 . 11/2/2013
Every chapter now has been so chaotic and tense XD it's so near to the end so that makes sense.
I love how you still manage to put these tribute's characters across is such an elegant and natural way even when the povs are more infused with action and even fighting, it takes so much skill to do that.

Inez's pov was great as usual, she has been solidly the best tribute in the story, at least to me and the development in her is on going and she's always compelling to read.
I like seeing her interact with someone so it's good she's now with Shiloh. And it feels like two people just together to try and survive and because they have common ground to bond over, you can tell it isn't a friendship or anything with too much emotional attachment.
At the end of the pov did Inez see something I wonder, or someone? Could have been or it could just be all of the exhaustion and starvation and stress playing on her mind. It could have been Rhain? But I don't think she was there at time.

I am speechless about Rhain! I didn't see this coming but it makes soooo much sense, she just felt so worn out and desperate here and her mind had been playing on needing revenge on Shiloh for quite a long time. I didn't think she'd hunt him down to do it but well it was more than she stumbled upon them and her reaction was appropriate for her given the state she is now in.
I am blown away by this pov, you handled it amazingly. It's always really interesting to watch more reluctant tributes engage in battle, ones who have no experience and the added element of no weapons made it stand out even more.
Also, the chants from the boys in that part of the arena also impacted on her, she probably subconsciously thought it was what she had to do.

Shiloh's pov really stood out to me. You could practically feel his fear and adrenaline and everything mixed in through the thoughts portrayed and how he was presented.
He let Inez do must of the defending and fighting which is in character and especially his feelings of reluctance and his innocent stood out.
It was so clear Shiloh didn't want any one to have to die, that is just how he is but he also wanted to survive which I find realistic.

Well done on how you handled her death! It would never have been realistic for one of this group to out right murder one of the others, you showed how simple and easy death is in such a wild and frantic situation by having Rhain be pushed and fall in the wrong place. I really love your writing because you just think of the best ideas and keep everything realistic and true to the tributes you are writing about.
I'm going to miss seeing your amazing portrayals of Rhain but it is so close to the end anyway and I'm astounded you kept her so long and you made her so different to the average teenager mother tributes you always see. You brought her to life and made me really connect with her. Thanks so much for accepting my tribute and making me love and both hate reading her journey in the games. I became too attached.

Even Andras is feeling the pressure, if only a little bit. He, along with Sawyer is still the most collected and together tribute. His thoughts are always so driven and he always wants to stay one step ahead and that is the career in him but the human in him comes out when he thinks about his boyfriend, who he loves and his quest for acceptance and respect and that is what makes him such a developed and complex character.
I can't believe he found Sawyer just like that. If I were not so skeptical I'd put it down to fate XD But this is the right moment for it! It had to come down to the two of them and I really hope to read about this much anticipated fight soon!

Just two more chapters for us to look forward to then! I both can't wait but then I can't because I don't want it to end.
Once again, thank you so much and I mean it. You made Rhain so much more than I'd ever have thought and you made me fall in love with her. You managed to capture her and portray her just as intended but bring so much more out of her and that is what makes you such an excellent author.
JabberjayHeart chapter 31 . 11/2/2013
I told myself to do this like yesterday, but I'm seriously ill and it slipped my mind.

But firstly, Chaos... do you want this review? Like, really want it? I would say ask nicely, but then you'll be pleading and I'll get the gun and Pippin ready and we all know how that turns out :)

Inez is still very much herself.
No matter how much change - development for the good or bad - Inez's sole character shines through. It's quite clever of you. It shows that Inez is an easier character for you to write, since she comes across so fluently.
When Shiloh asked if they were okay, I knew they won't, haha.

I liked how you lapped the two POVs here. It's one of my favourite things to do as well. The same story, two aspects. It can really make or break a character who looks evil through someone's eyes, but helpless in their own.
Rhain is literally broken so much. In all honesty, as great of a character she was and how much I loved her (even if it waned at the end), she was far too tragic and damaged to win, in my opinion. I mean, she was damaged goods before, but the death of Alyx has broken her to the core.
There's no Victor inside of her.
Like others mentioned, the comparison to the man that hurt her, and Shiloh for killing Alyx, was a haunting comparison indeed. I guess it makes sense, in a twisted way. Rhain's trust in another has broken so much, that when someone takes away something she likes or treasures, she assumes a hatred persona against them. Totally understandable of course. It shows an inner strength in her at least - not completely vulnerable and frail.

And the fight begins.
Shiloh is so hopeless sometimes, ho ho ho, makes me feel guilty for making him most of the time. He's melancholic, true, but my baby has always been that way. I didn't expect the Hunger Games to make him any better or positive; I expected them to crush him.
He doesn't even fight that much when Rhain prepares to drown him, which speaks volumes for his character, and Rhain's need to punish him... it's almost like she's using Shiloh as a vessel for the man that hurt her. He's something physical that she can overpower. She probably couldn't overpower the man that robbed her of innocence. Shiloh can be taken away - an eye for an eye - whereas the man cannot.
Look at me getting all philosophical ;D
But yeah. Then Inez saved him. Aw, Shiloh ;_;

It was tragic. Really, really tragic. Rhain didn't die at the hands of a tribute per se, but unfortunate circumstances. It's a great way to highlight inexperience - reminds me of what you did between Alyx and Cathodra, back in the bloodbath. Desperation for life prevails.

Admittedly, Andras' wasn't much, but it was a clever way to carry on the suspense.
Not much to say - Andras' confidence is shadowed by arrogance, even more so now. He's almost smug for the fact that he's gotten this far.
Confidence can be a downfall...
As much as I love Andras, I can't say I want him to win fully. I wouldn't mind it - no complaints whatsoever, and I can see the appeal of an Anti-Hero of sorts - but there's something about the growing confidence/cockiness that makes it almost ironic, in a sense... he didn't join the Careers, but his mindset is programmed like one. I don't know. No complaints, but not a first choice.
Sawyer is dead next. Without a doubt. The fight will be epic and something I've waited for for A LONG TIME MISTRESS. And, frankly, Sawyer's confidence needs to be knocked down. I love her character - but there's a time when the confident should fall.
So, yeah. Predictions: Shiloh, Andras, and Inez.

I want Inez to win the most. I think it'll be a tragic backstory - from Rhain's accidental death, to killing Knox, to bonding and losing Shiloh (and in turn Aedan through alliance) and so forth. It makes a stronger impact, in my opinion.
Second would be Andras. Again, no complaints obviously, but my first choice would be Inez.
I'm not placing Shiloh- that's just shitty on my part, and certain people might be a little pissed if he did win... ;)
But I don't expect him to win at all. I didn't make him to win either. ;_;

Gammy Writing!
Even when musics gone chapter 31 . 11/1/2013
Poor Rhain, she had so much to live for.
It makes me sad that Robin, Rhain's friend basically got her wish, she didn't want Rhain to return as some changed person who was a shadow of her former self. Sadly Rhain did really change due to the games and their toll. I really wonder how Robin and Hope's life will be.

The fight, especially as it was weaponless and with untrained tributes, was fantastic! So well handled.

I have an idea now of who the victor is but I want to keep guessing so I'll stay open minded until that chapter :-)
jakey121 chapter 31 . 11/1/2013
yo u thirsty 4 reviewz

Inez- The Games have really taken their toll on her and it's clear through every POV you write for her, she's one of my favourites (although for some reason I just don't want her to win :/) as she's one of those stand out characters without being over the top, her background is normal and all these combined make her one of the better tributes. Her morals are still taking the focus of the POV's and how every decision she's made and still continues to make are effecting these, and how she's always conflicted and torn about how to feel and what to do.
I liked that little bit about how she wasn't actually that worried she couldn't find Shiloh. That shows the kind of person Inez is, she wants to look after him but then she wants to be by herself as she doesn't want to connect with him. Her journey through the Games would definitely give her one of the more interesting stories afterwards if she were to win, in fact I can see all the remaining tributes with something that makes them stand out once they win. I'm just rooting for some people more than others.

Rhain- I love the link she made between not being able to forgive Shiloh for what he did, and the man who took away her innocence, that really stood out to me in this POV. Her erratic behaviour was brilliant towards the end of the POV. I'm guessing the chant was playing in her head and added to how much she was torn on how to feel towards Shiloh, it really pushed her on to getting her revenge. And then she regretted it but Inez misinterpreted what she was going to do.
Rhain's always stood out to me, partly bias wise as she was Alyx's ally, but also because she's a mother but broke all the cliches and became a stand out character without Hope holding her back. You've done so well with her and managing to find the balance between using Hope as her driving force and ensuring she still maintains her own personality throughout. It's true that she has basically gotten herself into the best possible scenario tv entertainment wise. It's what the Capitol wants, and I'm glad she picked up on that.

Shiloh- This was the stand out POV to me, because it showed how a fight between non-careers should go. The way you chose to have Rhain killed off was perfect, as it required no weapons, no physical skill except one push and the rock underneath the water. Shiloh's comment about do any of them have the physical capability to kill each other without weapons was perfect as it flowed so well into the next scene.
I'll miss Rhain so much, she was my choice for victor and not once did I really think that I wanted her to win for Hope. That shows you did her perfectly. I wanted Rhain to win for herself, but unfortunately she died. This'll effect the two of them even more, as none of them wanted to be killers again but they had to defend themselves.
Again, I think I've lost the connection to Shiloh. I guess last chapter was just a one-off, but I still admire his character. You do really well with making single sentences powerful and stand out, all those links with the fight and his own past were handled brilliantly, and the fight was written particularly well. Definitely the best POV of this chapter.

Andras- After all the island POV's it was good to relax a little and go to someone else. I'm glad you chose Andras over Sawyer to talk about, as there's more to talk about with him as she was just sitting down. Andras's need to hunt truly shows that he's dedicated to winning, even with the pain and everything that Phi caused he won't just stand around and wait for Sawyer to find him.
Now he had that sponsor gift I really think he will make it to the final three and kill Sawyer, her one advantage would have been if he was still injured but now the pain's sort of disappeared for the time being.
Sorry I don't have as much to say on his POV. Compared to the island ones not much went on, but that's good, it was a great way to end the chapter!

Okay! FINAL THREE NEXT CHAPTER! I know you didn't ask but I'll say who I'd like to see as it's changed because it was originally Andras, Rhain and Inez.

I want: Andras, Sawyer and Inez – Not Shiloh because lately his character has kind of remained the same, with someone like Andras that's fine, but he's becoming a little... dull... his POV was only the stand out because of the fight.

I think: Andras, Shiloh and Inez – Andras and Sawyer are now going to fight, and I don't see how one of them won't be dying next chapter.

For the victor, UGH THIS IS DIFFICULT. I know you didn't ask but I want to give my thoughts anyway xD I wanted Rhain so badly, so I always just said I'd want Inez because I never really thought about an alternative. Is it bad I think Inez's victory is too obvious? To me it is for some reason. Personally I want Andras to win over everyone else, second choice is Inez for sure, third is Sawyer and last is Shiloh.

Anyway, you better be planning another SYOT because after this you CANNOT LEAVE ME AND ALL YOUR OTHER READERS WITH NOTHING FROM YOU OK?!


Great chapter!
Thomas J. Flynn chapter 31 . 10/30/2013
Not as powerful as your last couple chapters, but good nonetheless.
No idea who will win this thing
569 | « Prev Page 1 .. 2 3 4 5 6 13 .. Last Next »