|Reviews for The 18th: Standing in their Graves|
| Guest chapter 25 . 9/16/2013
Cant wait for the next update! X-D
| Guest chapter 25 . 9/16/2013
Big cliffhanger here! Great chapter, I really like how you did this and I can't v wait to see what all of these plans the tributes have been making will result in!
| jakey121 chapter 25 . 9/16/2013
Okay I shall go back to the previous chapter when I get proper internet back... I still haven't -.- I want to review this chapter though right now before the connection goes down so yeah... here I am ;D
Kalen- I still do not like him, but I admire the change in him. He doesn't seem so arrogant in this and as irritating as I've seen him previously but he still does have the characteristics that make him Kalen so yeah... still don't like him :) To be honest he doesn't add anything to this except a potential tribute that gets betrayed by Andras and Phi which would be cool to see happen :D
In my opinion Andras and Phi just as a duo would be so interesting, I prefer sassy Andras with Phi but who knows, maybe if it was just the two of them, they could grow to become 'friends'. Maybe not friends since that really doesn't fit either of these two's tributes personalities but something that'll develop either character further.
Anyway great POV but I'm worried Kalen is falling into that category that Marlee went into. A tribute that's just there and not adding anything to the story. I'm sure he won't though, I bet he'll do something interesting soon :D
Alyx- Biased but this was my favourite POV simply because we've seen development in such a small piece of writing for both characters and a sort of cliffhanger in the sense that the pair of them are now moving to do something so they aren't being the sort of characters who are interesting but don't do anything so sort of act as dead weight and just fall flat.
I'm glad that the fear is still inside of Alyx's head about what she's done and how the community back at Seven are taking her revealing her true self and I'm also happy you haven't forgotten about the injury she has. She should still be focusing on this but it isn't taking over her personality and is taking a step back to show this new strength in her. Honestly I can't thank you enough for what you're doing for her and what I bet you'll continue to do (for as long as she's alive xD)
Rhain is still as awesome as ever and now maybe the two will revert back to how they used to be now both are toughening up a bit and adapting to the way the Games are. I like that Alyx is almost becoming hardened to the Arena without becoming over the top. These details about the way the Games change people always make me happy because it's realistic and just makes your writing even better!
Knox- He's not the worst tribute you have left but he's not the best either XD There's nothing about him I dislike but I just do not find him interesting and I'm kinda hoping he'll die soon :/ That's bad considering he's young but hey I'm used to reading about kids dying so I don't care. I think the cliffhanger-y type of ending in this POV was also amazing! Despite not being any deaths a lot has gone on in this chapter and I loved it, maybe one of the best chapters so far!
Like I said before I've never read or seen Lord of the Flies so I don't exactly understand this beast thing and what these boys are up to but I still enjoy reading about it and can't help but wonder what will happen to Knox and Inez.
I kinda want Knox to get killed by the boys and Inez escape when the entrance is opened again. I love Inez so I'd be upset to see her be the one to die so yeah I am hoping it's Knox if it is true one of them has to die for the entrance to clear so they can flee.
Anywayyyyyyy despite not being a very cool character Knox still maintains what we've seen all the time. I mean he has a sort of subtle strength to him but still shows child-like tendencies, like the curiosity getting the best of him and jumping down to follow the boys. I found that really realistic so yeah great job!
Ainsley- Ok POV wise this hasn't been the best chapter for me (excluding Alyx) since I don't like Kalen, Knox or Ainsley but the content within has made this one of my favourite chapters so I'm glad that despite not liking the tributes I still enjoyed the chapter!
Ainsley desires power but I like the relationship he has with Desire, he cares for her but wants to push that away and not care about her but then he can't. It's all probably confusing in his head but I like it, offering food might just have been a way to toughen her up or maybe he really doesn't want to see her starve. Sawyer remains my favourite of the pack, I don't care for Damien whatsoever. I love Desire so if she survives for longer with Sawyer then I'll be happy :)
I agree with Anla with the idea that maybe it wasn't the best idea to split up but maybe the idea of a fight kind of got in the way of the actual survivor in Sawyer. She desires Andras, Phi and Kalen dead and she cares about getting a kill and just forgot about what's best for the entire group. I think it kind of fits in with her character even if it wasn't the smartest move.
My prediction is we'll see two die next chapter. I love no death chapters but I think we need one with at least two deaths so maybe next time we will see that happen. I think if two are to die they'll be out of Ainsley, Kalen or Damien. Not just because I don't like either three but I honestly don't see what Damien and Kalen add to this anymore. Ainsley I can see getting overwhelmed and Desire maybe leaving him to his fate.
But I'd prefer it to be Kalen and Damien so yeah... let that happen :) LOL! No do what you want to do, I get annoyed when readers are pushy and SHOUT at the author about what they should do.
| Guest chapter 25 . 9/16/2013
Sooooooo good !
| Thomas J. Flynn chapter 25 . 9/16/2013
Yet another great chapter, I really enjoyed seeing all the scheming between tributes and you consistently amaze ad surprise me even with my own tribute. I can't wait to see what happens with the many developing plots next chapter.
On a side not I really did not mean to create such a controversy with my last review, and I hope no one was offended by anything
| Anla'shok chapter 25 . 9/15/2013
I raise my sword and slam it open.
"All right. District One, take that smaller tunnel. Damien, come with me, we'll go through the main one. "
WHAT? Did she even train? That tips the odds from four to three to three to two in Andras' team's favor! Why do they separate? Imagine there's a snare on the ground or something that incapacitates one before an ambush. The other two would have to first hear the noise (that isn't guaranteed, they don't know what's out there) and run back. It's ridiculous!
Okay, the Careers' intelligence just went down the drain.
It'd be ironical if Desire met Rhain and Alyx (their moment was sweet but it taught us little this time) intent on getting food. They're all converging at this stage. Except the trapped duo who'll have to pay the price in blood. I also like how you didn't fall into the trap of making it 'fair'. The Capitol wants entertainment, it doesn't want people to have an even chance at winning.
Kalen realizing there's no way out is interesting, he may become rash, will he slam his newfound knowledge in Phi's face? Andras' seems the more solid of the three, which is logical.
I liked the lack of kills, it shows that it's less easy than expected.
I wonder if Golum will pop up in the mix just to add to the chaos.
| Anla'shok chapter 24 . 9/15/2013
To add in my two cents, I think using characters from other literature is a private joke between the Gamemakers and the Capitol (All the books may have been lost, but USB keys? Hard drives? anything that stores thousands of books that anyone could have brought with them very easily. So the Capitol having access to literature -approved by whatever thought police there probably is- is very likely. The districts don't though) but it's good to keep the tributes oblivious.
Also it's fine as long as it's a real arena pivot point rather than just a cameo appearance.
The Gollum scene had me both grinning like an idiot and gaping at how vile it is. It's much better being gollum than a random mutt because we know gollum, so kudos for the gamemakers ;D
Poor Adean, it's just wrong. It's an awesome twist though (although I guess it was predictable but I'm impressed you went through with it) and beautifully written.
The Careers are dithering, nothing special there but I liked Damien's thought process. Remorse is often written in a generic way, here we have Damien's narrative voice back (he'd faded but now he's closer to what he was during the reapings) and it's tailored to his character.
Inez's fear and frantic running was very well written too. She's in deep trouble.
| ageofthedumort chapter 24 . 9/14/2013
Awww... Why did you stop?! And I just want to congradulate you on doing such a great job with Gollum. We are reading the Hobbit right now, and this is a WAY better discription of Gollum than the author gives!
| Thgfan9 chapter 24 . 9/13/2013
This chapter just about broke me! There is always that turning point where things get darker and the lovable but weak character is killed :( And you just know everything is about to break down from here! I'm excited yet I feel all tense too worrying about my favourites! Haha, I get so attached to your writing!
I am really going to miss Aedan and he deserved to have a significant death scene even if it was a horrible and scary one. I want to read the aftermath now, I am sure Shiloh will be struggling and grieving now and questioning everything. Ugh, this alliance continues to break my heart!
| DA Member Hogwarts chapter 24 . 9/10/2013
I have something to say. I do not think that because your arena plays on other works of literature that in interferes with the flow or mood of the story or takes away anything from the characters or plot, if anything it makes the story a lot more exciting. Sure, you may have mutts and scenes from other known works but why not? It is early days for in the Games and I am sure that some of these books have lived on and you did explain that the head game maker had an obsession for these fandoms and I do think that the Capitol would get inspiration for mutts and such from other sources.
And besides, you are a good author who knows what she is doing and it doesn't feel like you are just throwing these snippets from other books in here, you are using them to create intense and exciting moments in your story and they don't even overpower the interactions and plots that you have going on, they just enhance them in my eyes. Sorry, I just saw a review that kind of annoyed me! Each to their own and all that and everyone can have an opinion, I just strongly disagreed.
Anyway :) On to the povs!
Inez: I still really like her and she is steadily growing each time we see her but the good thing is that you still manage to hold onto her original character while giving her positive development. You are consistent with your characters and just don't instantly change them into something they were not. She is still struggling with being who she is and has always been and changing for the better and to help her chances at winning and I like the little mentions of her sister always, reminding us of Inez's past and her motivations.
THOSE BOYS WITH SPEARS LMFAO. I don't know much about the lord of the flies or what the beast is but they are hectic. All these young boys running around with weapons on a beach... like what? I agree that I think it'd be so cool if Knox joined them and became some savage wild thing going around in that group and killing the careers :) haha. Or Shiloh could join them, yes? OR SHILOH AND KNOX.
But anyway, Inez is becoming braver. She is taking action and thinking ahead and starting to show the drive to win, the old Inez would have sat around and waited and taken the safer option but she is leaving the island and risking running into trouble.
Damien: Well, yes, it is good he is showing remorse but I still am not a big fan of his character. I focused more on the other careers around him and their interactions and banter.
I think it makes sense for them to be planning the next attack seeing as the last time Andras's group just ambushed them so it is very career like for them to want to make the next move and be in control. I am looking forward to this next fight because more is at stake and they are more determined this time and I think a lot more will happen.
Aedan and Shiloh: I'll comment together as the povs overlapped and where basically about the same scene and all that and besides I like thinking of Shaedan together and as one thing because they were the ultimate ship of this story, sorry Rhain and Alyx aka Rhalyx.
GOLLUM! HOW COULD ANYONE SAY THEY DON'T LIKE SEEING GOLLUM IN AN SYOT. THIS WAS THE BEST. IT GAVE ME CHILLS AND I NEVER REALLY GET FREAKED OUT BUT YOU CAPTURED GOLLUM PERFECTLY AND IT WAS JUST AMAZING, THE WAY YOU DESCRIBED HIM THROUGH THE BOY'S EYES AND HIS SPEECH AND THOSE RIDDLES! IT WAS AMAZING. I COULDN'T GET OVER MY GOLLUM FANGIRLING UNTIL THE INEVITABLE HAPPENED AND AEDAN COULDN'T FIGURE OUT THE RIDDLE AND YEAH... GOLLUM GOT HUNGRY AND ATE HIM :'(
Shiloh's reaction was heartbreaking, he is now going to blame himself for running away like he feels he usually does but it wasn't his fault there was nothing he could do for Aedan. And when he called Aedan his best friend I wanted to die. I agree with Corey, I will go down with this ship. LMFAO.
Anyway, don't apologize! As you know I am so excited about my character being eaten by Gollum and if that happened to me I'd be so happy LOL. But naw, I will miss him, you made me love him so much and you always make my tributes more than they were. Newt and Chandler, Newtler and Now Aedan and Shiloh, Shaedan... why must you make my tributes have such adorable and real relationships and friendships that break my heart :') I expected Aedan to die soon because he wasn't really up for the games now was he? And Newt already won. I hope the effects of losing him aren't too bad on Shiloh.
Wonderful chapter my gurl!
| Thomas J. Flynn chapter 24 . 9/9/2013
I really enjoyed the Damien section but it is a bit odd for me to see all these characters and settings from other works. I respect that you are doing something different but it's just not for me necessarily, it just takes me out of the story when I see things like Gollum. Still the writing is as good as ever.
| Tear That Cherry Out chapter 24 . 9/6/2013
I loved this chapter. I love every chapter though, but still, this chapter was amazing. Your rather quick updates make it even better though. Rhain didn't die, which is good, and I am slightly relieved, because I thought she was going next. Who knows, their still is twelve people left! I think so. I counted in my head. Desire, Ainsley, Andras, Phi, Sawyer, Kalen, Alyx, Shiloh, Knox, Rhain, Inez and Damien, right?
Inez, I love. Thank God she wasn't the one who died, but her part was scary, admittedly. I thought she wouldn't have left unnoticed, so I was becoming a little worried. Kill the Beast. That is creepy too, but not as creepy as Gollum. I hope Inez makes it far, she is a great character, and her morals are very high. She kept real to herself from the start, and that is what I love about Inez.
I understand why you gave Damien his part on this chapter. I don't like him, but you kind of had to remind us of who Damien is, and showed us he is not just a murder-teenager who killed Marlee. He is a bookworm from Eleven, just trying to be the hero in this story. At least he didn't like killing Eris and Marlee, he felt remorse, which shows he is actually humane.
I agree to your decision of killing Aedan. He was becoming depressed, and he was turning into someone who wasn't Aedan, the happy, optimistic boy from Ten. Everyone loved Aedan, it was hard not to, but he was changing. But that type of death for him? Harsh. Shiloh, oh Shiloh. He is so cute, but he isn't in a different way. He is innocent, but he isn't in a different way. Oh Shiloh. Who can't feel sorry for Shiloh? He lost two allies, both died slow, painful deaths. He will probably not last too long though.
There is twelve left, and each are strong in their own ways. Four are Careers. Sawyer, Desire, Ainsley and Damien. I feel Damien by now, is the weakling. Sawyers patience is running low with him, and I feel she isn't happy about Desire not making a kill, but personally, that makes her even more lovable. Desire all the way! Ainsley, I think, isn't trying to get in the middle of everything, and is trying to lay low, so he isn't considered a big threat. Sawyer, she is strong, and smart, but maybe too confident. She will do well though
Three are advanced anti-Careers. Andras, Kalen, Phi. The Misunderstood Ones. To me anyways. They are strong, but less likable after Marlee was killed.
That leaves five. The Rhain-Alyx alliance may not make too much further. They are both lovely girls, but they are both falling apart. Don't. Kill. Rhain. Though. Please, I beg of you! Inez, she keeps her posture up to par, and tries her hardest. She is going places, that aren't wooden boxes, I hope. Knox and Shiloh, I feel, are the weaklings of the Games. But they are so lovable, and it is barely possible to kill them off. Barely.
I predict the showdown will be between... hmm... Inez, Desire and Rhain. Only joking, I can't predict at the moment.
| MyrtleFalls chapter 24 . 9/5/2013
Whoa. Intense chapter. A lot of the threats were revealed...so for Hogwarts, it's dementors, for LotR, it's Gollum, for Oz, it's the Munchkins, and for Lord of the Flies, it's the boys. Now only Les Mis has yet to be revealed...my bet is still on traps and cannons and stuff. I don't think the Gamemakers would mutt the entire French army...(or maybe just Javert but he wasn't really THAT bad of a guy...)
Yeah, I agree with you, freaky chapter.
Inez: I'm glad she's coming out of her prim and proper shell (I really really like her; I think she's my favorite) and taking some risks. Stay in the trees, Inez! The trees are safe, the ground obviously drives you mad. Again, I seriously hope that Knox and Inez aren't pitted against each other...that would be horrible. :( The boy mutts are scary. o.O
Damien: Knew the guilt would catch up with him eventually. I didn't like him that much (and I still don't) but I have at least a little sympathy knowing that he feels bad. His knowledge of stories will seriously help him in this arena...he's going to go into the Les Mis arena during the attack on the anti-Careers and be all, "OMG, GUYS THIS IS LES MISERABLES!" and then Sawyer'll be like, "Ummm...are you feeling all right?" "NO I MEAN WE'RE IN A BOOK!" "I think the stab wound might have gotten infected, guys."
Aedan/Shiloh: Poor Aedan. I never really connected with him but I could tell he was a good guy. And I really, really love Shiloh so it's sad to see him alone. I totally thought Aedan would last at least until the final eight (I could tell that you liked him) so it was a shock to see him go. :(
| Guest chapter 24 . 9/5/2013
Aeden! I'm gonna have nightmares tonight. Poor Aeden and poor Shiloh! I'm so sad :(
| Foxface5 chapter 24 . 9/5/2013
Saddest chapter yet, this is the point all of the good hearted people will die :( It just is a fact if you do not want to kill and don't go out of your way to show you are willing to do what it takes you will be a target for the game-makers.
Anyway, I loved this chapter and there is a real sense that things are about to get even more heated.
Inez: She was wise to vacate the area but I don't think my little Knox will :( He's too curious and will probably try and talk to the boys, I saw people suggest he'd join them and that'd be extremely cool although dangerous.
I like how Inez still keeps up her positive and can do attitude in the arena and how even the little things she says or does or thinks about stay true to her character that we met in the arena, you have such a knack for portraying these characters consistently and it makes the story that much better. Even though Inez stays the same largely, she is changing and developing and starting to take risks and she is becoming more determined.
Damien: He is still one of my least favorite tributes like I do not like his motivations and personality but as characters go he is interesting and does add a different type of flavor to the career group. It is clear he is struggling and is being someone who he is not inside in order to fit in and be the person he probably wishes he could be- like a story book character who is fearless and brave but deep down he does have doubts and flaws and I do like that his guilt is finally surfacing as I don't think anyone but a hardened career could kill twice and think nothing of it.
oooh I like the plan, more action to come! I have a feeling there will be a lot more death this time.
Aedan: Poor Aedan, he always remained such a light for Shiloh and kept him laughing in the hard times. He was too good of a person and just couldn't let go of the thought of Noa which led him to wanting to leave her place of death and eventually to his death.
I almost freaked out when Gollum arrived, this is one of the freakiest and most creative arena's ever.
Shiloh: This was horribly sad. Shiloh having to watch his ally and the person who became his best friend, the person who was one of his only friends, die. Aedan basically sacrificed himself for Shiloh by telling him just to run, I am glad Shiloh did though because he couldn't have saved Aedan and they'd both be gone. To me it doesn't make him a coward it makes him human.
Shiloh's self esteem and confidence are going to be even more damaged now.
Yes! The chapter was creepy and I love me so creepiness so YAY indeed but NAY to Aedan's death :( No I understand he had to go and you did such a favored character justice with a memorable death.