|Reviews for Hidden Camera|
| pbow chapter 14 . 12/25/2015
This is a very good story but you've made a few errors that really spoiled it for me.
First of all, I would think Tori would've been suspicious of a record producer calling out of the blue and offering her a record deal; especially since Jade tried to pull the same thing one time. (Don't remember which epi, think it was 3 girls and a Moose, but I'm probably wrong)
Second, Tori couldn't sign the record deal, she's underage. (21 for the state of California)
Her parents would've had to sign for her.
Third, the record co would've gone all out to accommodate Tori, even to the point of paying for studio time in L.A. to record her songs. There are plenty of recording studios in Hollywood.
Four, Jade wouldn't have been in trouble for stabbing Beck, at least from the law's standpoint. Beck was moving to attack and she would've only been defending herself and Tori. Beck knew about Jade's love of scissors but attacked anyway.
All those are technical points. You did miss a few other non-important things, too.
You missed an excellent 'AHA' situation during the confrontation. It being when both Jade and Tori realized Beck was actually jealous of the two girls. Jealous that they'd found someone to be with. Upset that both had turned him down, et. al. That would've been the perfect opportunity for J and T to unmercifully mock Beck.
I understand that you're young and busy and don't have time to check these kinda facts, so don't worry too much about them. I'm just pointing them out to let you know where you need to improve with your writing. This is the perfect forum to do so; I know I've learned a lot about writing over the years of posting my stories here.
As I said at the beginning, this is a goo story as it stands. Keep up the goo work.
| Guest chapter 14 . 11/16/2015
Yes! Jade got the girl and Beck is about to suffer. I wonder if Trina will stop with the drugs and come back.
| Guest chapter 5 . 7/10/2015
C ass pZ try fw
| Katy A. Awkward chapter 15 . 12/26/2014
| HaleyAlex2013 chapter 15 . 9/6/2014
Love it. Hate Beck right now.
| Lushcoltrane chapter 15 . 8/4/2014
I don't know how I didn't see this story before. I really enjoyed it.
That said, I have a couple of nits to pick. I'm not sure I like the idea of Trina being a junkie. Seems out of the blue & out of character. But given the teaser you have for the next story, I'll reserve final judgment.
The biggest issue I had with the story was Beck & Jade's kiss. I doubt it was passionate but Tori completely read it soooo wrong. I can dig Beck being a total jerk but Tori misread this so badly - as bad as the stupid situational mistakes made in sitcoms. And Jade didn't even try to explain it to Tori? Or Cat?
Now that I got that off my chest, I'm looking forward to diving into the next tale.
| SoraOblivion62 chapter 15 . 1/13/2014
Hey, I know it's been a long time (almost a year apparently) since this was finished, but I enjoyed reading it. It had some cute parts and some drama, which I enjoy immensely in stories; if everything works out perfectly with no conflict, I lose interest quickly. In any case, this makes me want to read the sequel :).
| KrissyJ chapter 7 . 7/26/2013
You can go on the phone and scroll down and click regular site and then go to your page and do what you would do on the computer ther.
| Nothing but Jori chapter 15 . 7/9/2013
Aweeee! No smut... but I understand I know how hard it is to write a story with smut when your not so good at it I'm 11... it took m so long to finish that chapter with the smut. (*-ω- ) I know, I know "You're way too young! " & "WTF are u doing here" im used to that I just love writing and anyways I CAN'T WAIT FOR MORE OF YOUR STORIES!
| MADA chapter 5 . 6/27/2013
When you are referring to someone as Miss. You don't have to put a period. It's just Miss Tori Vega.
| HellYeahFeels chapter 15 . 3/25/2013
This story was so amazing! I almost cried at the really sad parts! Even though you have ADHD, you're an amazing writer! Maybe ADHD inspires people more. It's your gift to write, don't lose it! :)
| Jeremy Shane chapter 14 . 3/10/2013
| BrookeJ1 chapter 1 . 3/6/2013
Fucking bitch! Hacking all of my shit and getting my suspended on my account! I can't fucking update anything. PEOPLE IF YOU ARE READING THIS UNFOLLOW, UNFAVORITE, SHARE, REPORT DO EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO GET THIS ACCOUNT DELETED! Thank you.
| AdamTobiasGrayson chapter 10 . 2/5/2013
hm...well that was sad...and i sense a plot by the EVIIIIIIL Beck...okay maybe "EVIL" is a slight exageration...
| Shiba Grande chapter 15 . 1/27/2013
Oh my god, I just read this whole thing and you are amazing. I am so looking forward to the sequel. And if you need someone to write intimate scenes for you, look for SonXxxofxXxaxxXBanana. They write ReCe, so if you look for ReCe stories, you'll find them. And see you soon.