|Reviews for Harry Potter and the Deus Ex Machina|
| majere4 chapter 2 . 8/6/2021
I'm stunned. There is a complexity here that goes beyond the details and the concepts. I hoping that you can sustain this level of brilliance, because you are onto something here. Something not just new, but genuine.
| bxrdybxrd chapter 23 . 8/6/2021
I love this whole fic. I was basically in awe the whole time because of Regulus and Marius and everyone involved in getting Harry and Sirius out of their hellholes. Great writing and I'm looking forward to more of the sequel!
| pearlrose33 chapter 23 . 7/26/2021
This was the most convoluted but well put together story I have ever read. Good job keeping all the time loops straight. I only didn't understand the last chapters with the whole runes on the bones. Great job on this story and thank you for writing it.
| Pr0xim4 chapter 12 . 7/23/2021
"Bond, who was drinking from a can of soda, choked on the beverage and spewed it everywhere. It was like the universe conspired to have him drink at that precise moment just so he could react with a spit-take."
I sense a very strong HPMoR reference right here 3
| TarnishedArmour chapter 23 . 7/18/2021
What a ride!
I don't know if I need a cigarette, a drink, or to go back and read it again...
Please tell me you're working on, or planning on, writing original fiction, and if you ever do, please PM me and tell me what to look for - even if it's a different genre than science fiction/fantasy, just let me know. I will find it, purchase it, and read it. Probably more than once.
...I think I'll go start the sequel now. And then maybe ruminate a few months and read both this and the sequel (even if it's in progress and I have to wait) again.
| DiagonAli chapter 23 . 7/15/2021
fascinating story. not a quick/skim read fluff pieceyou had to read and think and process a lot. it was very clever though, and beautiful. so much work and effort and reconciliation all to help Harry. and in doing so, helped the House of Black. and will help the Wizarding world. truly beautiful story
| Ryoji Mochizuki chapter 23 . 7/7/2021
| MischiefAag chapter 2 . 6/11/2021
I usually don't write reviews even though I love the stories. This particular fanfic has been on my reading list for a long time, forgotten and I happened to stumble upon it suddenly and thought I would give it a shot. WOW! I can't describe in words, I am still in the process of reading the first chapter and I absolutely love it. The way it's written, the thinking process, the intelligence of it, and the amount of research that has gone into it is exponential. I can't wait to read more. I love it!
| wanderinon chapter 2 . 6/9/2021
I generally read an entire story before I leave a review. It's just easier when I have no idea what's going to happen, or whether I'm actually going to be impressed in the end. But the thing that struck me while I was reading this first chapter, is how well it's written, how intelligent it is, and no matter what happens in the long run, I'm not going to be sorry that I spent my time on it. Maybe that sounds arrogant, but it's not meant to. You can tell that a lot of the authors are either young, or inexperienced writers. I can literally go through 20 or 30 stories before I find one like this. I'm looking forward to reading the rest. Thank you.
| Guest chapter 3 . 5/31/2021
Ima let it fly, but the fifth of may is Cinco De Mayo. It is a holiday where the mexicans celebrate their victory against the french, in case you dont know. They may not celebrate it where you are from, but I have grown up knowing about this holiday even though I don't do anything for it :)
(Normally people have a festival for it)
Other than that, great story!
| Difdi chapter 12 . 5/16/2021
There is a major flaw in how you describe the effects of magic on electronics. One that renders the entire thing impossible: Diagon Alley is in the middle of London.
If magic truly disrupted technology that way, then every car that drove past on Charing Cross Road would be affected. Every car made from the 1980s onwards for all Western markers contains transistors that it cannot run without. Diagon Alley is a sufficient concentration of magic to render muggle electronics inoperable, so why don’t cars driving by on the street outside die on the spot? How can there be a music store with working record and cassette players next door to the Leaky Cauldron’s entrance on Charing Cross Road?
There couldn’t be any of that if magic interfered with technology that way. Therefore the disruption has to be something else, lest the mere existence of the Alley cause a massive breach in the Statute of Secrecy in the form of a large zone in the middle of London where technology doesn’t work.
Ergo magic cannot interfere with technology by itself. There must be something more to it - the obvious answer being some sort of deliberate ward, that only affects a circumscribed area. Within the ward, electronics fail, an inch outside the covered area, they’re fine. I’ve seen fanfic authors come to this conclusion a number of ways, from deliberate sabotage by anti-muggle wizards to a side effect of warding buildings against lightning strikes. But the fact remains, if magic broke electronics the way you describe in this chapter, it would utterly destroy the Statute to have magical areas like the Alley and Ministry in close proximity to any muggle areas.
There’s another error in this chapter. What Flamel did to those four obliviators is a lethal attack, every bit as fatal as a killing curse. What you described is how thermobaric munitions work, and pulling air out of lungs that way implodes them - two collapsed lungs is invariably fatal for any human, unless immediate surgery is performed. Doing it via a thermobaric weapon causes so much tissue damage the lungs get shredded - no survivors without an immediate complete lung transplant. There is no need to stun them since they would be well on the way to dead, if the sudden shock didn't cause them to die instantly. Shooting them in the chest with a sniper rifle point-blank would do less damage to them than what Flamel did!
| writingaway chapter 3 . 5/7/2021
Interesting concept, obviously a talented writer, but your scenes are too long and they lack intensity, which makes it boring and winded. The amount of confusion and disorientation adds to the overall feeling of *get on with it*, which is a shame. I also had to stop because your characters blend into each other and the long exposition parts distracted from the plot, making reading a chore rather than enjoyable.
| PlanetZero chapter 23 . 5/1/2021
I'm going to take a shot in the dark and guess that the person who made the wish was actually Lily Potter. Makes sense.
I love how this story handles secrets. Personally, I think that secrets are a necessity in a good story. But that is more to do with the genres that I like. All of your secrets, ie where Harry lives, Regulus's identity as the phantom and later his involvement with Mi6, who Lord Black is and the whole Rookwood affair, are completely justifiable and necessary (from the character and audience's point of view) to their goals.
I have seen some stories where the whole plot is centred around keeping one secret, or a bunch of closely related secrets that all fall apart in one way or another. Whether or not the outcome is favourable the tension is gone or replaced with something completely different that shifts the tone and goals. Here you don't have that problem, because the secrets themselves are not the point. It is all just a means to an end.
I think that the pacing of this story could be better. You basically started with harry. Completely understandable. Then shifted to Regulus, who, despite this whole thing trying to be about Harry and Sirius, I think that Regulus is the main character. He is the one who does the planning, who we spend the most time with, get most invested in, who is in contact with Mi6, who tries to get Sirius out of Azkaban, protects Harry to the best of his ability, has the space mentor, drives most of the plot and has most of the secrets. And somehow, the only conclusion he has is seeing his plans come together from the background.
Nothing like Sirius rebuilding and reuniting with the family he proudly walked away from, not like Harry who had to overcome the feeling of having a family for the first time and nothing like even Marius who was able to get grudging respect from the family he was thrown out of. The biggest emotional closure we get from him is his fight and reunion with Sirius in the middle of the book. But even that is undermined by the fact that all turns into making Sirius sorry for thinking of Harry as James' replacement.
It's kind of ironic that Regulus's emotional role exists only to further Sirius' development.
I think that this story would have been easier to follow and more satisfying separated into three (or four) defined arcs. 1: the prologue, exactly how it is. 2: Regulus's story where we have a solid and emotionally satisfying ending. 3: Sirius' story, his struggles with his family, and the build-up to his trial. 4: Harry's story, where he goes through the emotional roller coaster of emotions of being spied on and relocated to a new world with a family that ACTUALLY LOVES HIM.
I love and am fully invested in Regulus's character. I love that he wins through trickery, disappearing, and making the actions of Voldemort (port keys) and Dumbledore (Harry's watchers in Mi6) inert in such a way that they never figure out exactly how. I'm completely FINE with the fact that we never see really get defeated because I didn't come here to see awesome characters be completely beaten down. I came here to watch the drama unfold. And it did. SPECTACULARLY.
I would have liked him to get some proper closure.
That is not to say that I want this to be changed. In my opinion, fanfiction is a way to experiment, see what works and what doesn't. And redoing something often changes so completely that it had lost the charm it had in the first place. I loved the Regulus in this story. That's part of the reason that I wrote this monster of a review.
I really want to see this story continue. I can understand that starting a new story when one just wrapped up is daunting. I can even understand that you no longer see the logic behind some of the decisions, or want to move on to something new. But please don't forget that we don't come here for real-world logical stories. If it is consistent, follows its own rules, is written extremely well and doesn't offend anyone, excellent! You passed. If we are going to start pointing fingers, saying that he would never be able to out-think Dumbledore, or that the characters are to OOC and powerful, then, my friend, just remember arguing over realism in a world with magic, is dumb.
And I can't believe that I just wrote 785 words, reviewed, edited, and revised and still completely directionless. My English teacher would be horrified.
| Royslady51 chapter 8 . 4/18/2021
You write with the power of a thunderstorm, combined with the grace of an American White Ibis.
| katkeller1221 chapter 2 . 4/5/2021