Reviews for Love on the Line
Lods chapter 15 . 5/7
I don't know if that is part of the overall story arc or not, but it is interesting how there seems to be a "love triangle" - Payne, Baralai and Yuna that is forming. As for the intimate scenes, if they make sense within the framework of the story then there is no need for the separate stories.
Lods chapter 14 . 3/30
I wonder what LeBlanc is trying to do by involving Yuna in her scheme to be with Baralai?
Courtneydb10 chapter 15 . 3/30
Really good chapter! And no I don't think you should write a separate story. Just doesn't seem right. Post another chapter soon!
Sheri chapter 15 . 3/25
I wonder who it was that Baralai had sex with. My guess is Paine but who knows?
Lods chapter 13 . 3/10
I like this chapter because it shows the complexities and range of human interactions.
4 Dark Aura Roses chapter 14 . 2/26
I can't wait until Paine confronts Yuna.
Courtney chapter 13 . 1/7
So glad you posted another chapter! I was beginning to wonder. Anyways this was a great chapter. I
like knowing about the character's past. And I'm so ready for the drama with Tidus and Leblanc. I know it's going to be good! :)
Guest chapter 12 . 11/4/2014
I like how the author has deftly managed to interweave a number of different characters and personas into a cohesive whole which provides multiple viewpoints focusing on Baralai and Yuna deepening relationship.
Lods chapter 11 . 11/4/2014
Tidius still has feelings for Yuna.
Yuna and Baralai's relationship is heating-up.
Baralai's friendship with Paine is strained.
This chapter sets ups the complexities to come. I can't wait for the future installments of this story.
Lods chapter 10 . 11/4/2014
This is a great exposition chapter on how Baralai and Yuna met and the impact this chance meeting had on them both. Gipal's mischievous match making side also shines through in the chapter's beginning.
Lods chapter 9 . 11/4/2014
I like how Baralai and Gipal's chat is funny in some places and at other times serious. Baralai is non-jugmental at Shelinda's plight and does not know what to do in Yuna's case-her father is approving of their relationship, but Yuna sees him just as friend. The different situations Baralai finds himself in this chapter, bring forth nuances and depth to the character.
Lods chapter 8 . 10/26/2014
This chapter has elements of a slapstick comedy of errors interwoven with some intense moments creating a dynamic episode. I can't wait to read the next chapter.
Lods chapter 7 . 10/25/2014
This chapter illustrates the complexities of a love triangle. Baralai and Yuna share some pretty intense emotional moments, yet Yuna likes Tidius. I don't understand why Yuna does not see beyond Baralai's best friend facade to someone who really cares for her and is willing to be there for her during the difficult times.
The plot point of Baralai hitting Yuna which was introduced a few chapters ago still does not make sense to me in the framework of the story.
Lods chapter 6 . 10/25/2014
The author deftly captures the brief sense of connection over a shared loss between the teacher and student, and bookends the chapter with a humorous scene which quickly turns serious. The range of the characters and their depth creates a deeper much more complex narrative.
Courtney chapter 12 . 10/25/2014
This was such a good chapter! I especially loved the part with Gippal and his thoughts. I just really like the whole thing actually lol. I'm really enjoying your story. Just keeps me wanting more :) I just think Tidus and Paine are gonna be up to something.
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