|Reviews for Child of the Storm|
| Kai chapter 6 . 9/23
Having trouble getting into this story. The premise is good, but so far the execution is stilted. In the first five chapters (which cover like, what, one day?) the reader is subjected to Thor's tale of woe six times. Seriously, after it is explained the first time, it doesn't need to be drawn out in explicit detail for every character who needs to be brought up to speed. Just cover the highlights briefly so that the reader knows that all the details were given. Ex: 'Thor laid out his heart as he retold the story of his mortal death, his wife's brave passing, his descent into madness and his reconnecting with his son in the magical world.' Bam done.
Also, your inter-sentence thoughts are disruptive and super had to follow when they are made so long. Egregious example from chapter 6: "Some of the things his Uncle Loki – and those were two words he never thought would have occupied the same train of thought, aside from previous idle hopes that Vernon and Loki would meet and Loki would… well, he wasn't sure what he had hoped Loki would do to Vernon, but it wouldn't have been pleasant – had said stuck with him." Finish your first sentence and then throw in your aside right after or it causes a hiccup in the story flow.
I'm not a huge fan of the Avengers or comic book origins so I admittedly don't know too much about the Marvel universe. Most of my impressions of characters are thus based off of the movie portrayals. That being said, Jane seems oddly out of character. The conversation with Pepper was weird. As smart and introspective as you have made Jane out to be, needing to have obvious things spelled out for her and then making 'wand' jokes was uncomfortable.
These are just my first impressions. There are a number of typos and omitted words and some side plots feel a bit rushed (the Dursley takedown quickly dovetails into how history will remember them as Hitler2.0), but the story is understandable as is. So far, people have just been wandering about the castle or plotting revenge... I am hoping that there will be some action soon (or some training from Loki).
| Drauchenfyre chapter 53 . 9/22
No! It's NOT the end of it! Until you tie Harry down to the girl you're pairing him with, we're gonna fantasize all we want about our favorite pairing, and there's nothing you can do about it! So *sticks out tongue*!
But seriously, nobody's gonna stop requesting their favorite pairing until you announce what YOUR pairing actually is (and even then, some of the die-hards will still try to convince you to change it). Take it from a fellow author who has had others complain about his Harmony shipping style- either ignore them, or learn how to delete reviews you don't like, because they're gonna come whether you want them to or not.
| Amelia Claw chapter 12 . 9/19
I really like the news article- it actually seems realistic, like it could actually be published! If only Harry and the avengers were real!
| VerBeek chapter 40 . 9/17
Do you ever actually say who all the members of the Commandos are in your story? I know you added Spitfire and Namor but who else?
| Fiona chapter 1 . 9/12
Loved this story. I re-read it over and over again.
Can't wait for the next instalment.
Please please please keep on writing and feeding my addiction.
| TheAvengingKnight chapter 80 . 9/13
Alright, so I finally had time off to sit and finish these monstrous final 2 chapters.
First of all, what a ride this has been, I've been following this story since 2014 and I'm kind of sad to see it end (even if there's more to come). Thank you for writing this epic, it was the unlikeliest of crossovers, not just HP & Avengers which has been done many times but the crossover of pretty much everything. HP, Avengers, both the MCU and comic universe, DC, Dresden and probably some smaller fictional universes sprinkled in here and there that I either didn't notice or can't quite recall after 821, 651 words.
I've got some questions:
1. Are you building to a Harry (being the master of death) vs Thanos ? I feel like Thanos, being in love with death, will NOT take kindly to anyone being a 'master of death'
2. Out of curiosity, do you feel that maybe you powered up Harry a bit too quickly? I love your version of the character but it feels like he'd curbstomp any villain who isn't at least on Wanda's level, even someone like Dumbledore might be overwhelmed if he starts channeling the, admittedly small, portion of the Phoenix inside of him. Though I suppose you can work around it by having the villains become more powerful, also the Voldemort/Selene team up isn't one I expected to see though I was pleasantly surprised. Will Voldemort pick up the role of main antagonist in the next book? (It is the Selene whose been alive for several thousand years in the marvel comics right?)
3. Wanda/Dresden, unfortunately I didn't have a lot of time to read the spin off that you did but I'll get around to it soon, I'm just curious about your decision to go with that pairing. Not that there's anything wrong, it was just unexpected. I love Dresden in your book, he's powerful but most times comes across as the oddest of ducks.
4. Any Quicksilver appearances or is he gonna be out of the story? Also I'm not sure whose faster between Jean-Paul and Pietro in the canon marvel universe though in this one it'd definitely be Jean-Paul considering he's got access to the speed force.
5. Carol/Harry, I was mildly disappointed that Diana didn't get it because while I love Carol, I enjoy Diana a lot more and I completely missed the poll damn it ! But it is what it is. I love the idea that Carol had the serum dormant inside of her all along by the way.
6. Ron/Hermione, any chances those two are going to get some upgrades in future in terms of training/power? Hermione is Wanda's and Constantine's kid so she's probably got some skills in addition to chaos magic that she'll discover along the way, also it's hilarious to imagine Hermione finding out who her father is. Ron though, it seems like he was kind of left behind.
7. Harry and Jean, he's a son of Thor with a small portion of the phoenix force inside of him, Jean is an omega class telepath and will one day be the host of the Phoenix as opposed to Harry who has a small piece of it, so in their primes could Jean defeat Harry? And even Clark?
8. I assume Clark and Harry are going to eventually be the big two of the story, Superman and...do you have a hero name for Harry just yet? It feels like Harry will have an overwhelming advantage over Clark, for all Clark's powers, Harry seems like he's got the advantage with magic from earth and probably Asgard and other worlds later on, omega class telepathy and the phoenix.
9. Also will Phoenix deus ex machina Harry back to life anytime he dies? I feel like it might take away from any potential 'death's he might have if we know he'll just revive and reduce everything to ashes or was his resurrection against Daken a one time thing? It's not to say it takes away from the tension of any fight sequences by the way, your fight sequences are some of the finest I've read.
Oh yeah, when you mentioned the ripples of Cthons power across the universe, there was a bit where you wrote something like 'Repairs began'. What was up with that?
Apologies for this being so very long, as predicted your ending raised a lot of questions which I'm sure was your intention. It's been a hell of a ride and I can't wait for the sequel. Cheers !
| TidusFFX1997 chapter 54 . 9/11
to be fair I forgot my first concussion initially
| ShihanaAmaya chapter 80 . 9/11
Wow, it was so amazing. I'm seriously glad I didn't get scared of the word count. It was definitely worth the time it took me to read it. 3
| Bakkughan chapter 20 . 9/10
So the mighty Thor, Prince of Asgard, now beats up little kids?
| Bakkughan chapter 19 . 9/10
You do realize that you don't need to do a summary of ALL the Avengers' reactions to every single thing Harry does, right? In this fic, I'm looking forward more to the villain chapters than the hero chapters, because at least in the villain chapters the story doesn't get put on hold every few lines just to summ up how disgustingly cute the avengers are together.
| Guest chapter 73 . 9/5
On the subject of Bucky, there is so much hate I feel for you right now.
| Xavon Wrentaile chapter 80 . 9/4
Though you do tend to repeat yourself. We get that Carol is attractive, looks older than she is, has boys acting inappropriately because of that, and Harry (supposedly) isn't interested. It does not need to be brought up as often as it is. Same thing with Harry's growth spurt. Something to think about going forward.
Now, on to the next one.
| Xavon Wrentaile chapter 76 . 9/4
Soulfire lightsaber. Not the first time I've seen it, but always a nice touch.
| Xavon Wrentaile chapter 75 . 9/4
Ever since you denied it would be Kyle, I was betting on Carol. When Strange gave her the ring, I knew. But then you had to go reveal it in the same chapter...
| Xavon Wrentaile chapter 71 . 9/4
When Thor was drawing in power and some one noticed, that was Magneto, wasn't it?