|Reviews for Change of Engagement|
| Yuki2311 chapter 10 . 1/3
I'm loving this story, it's so good! Good job on this chapter, I can't wait for the next one.
I have two questions though.
1-Are you thinking of make Minato and Mitsuro's relationship public at any point?
2-Are you going to ditch "The Answer" completely? I didn't play Persona 3 FES, only played the original and Portable, so, even though I know some of the extra plot in FES, my knowledge about it is limited.
| RagnorakTres chapter 10 . 12/30/2015
I must admit, I was skeptical at first, but you've made a believer out of me.
Not of the pairing, Mitsuru's was the Route I followed when I first played P3, and she's always been my favorite romance option; I'm pretty sure she codified my "type" for me. No, I was skeptical that you could accurately characterize the (largely silent) protagonist. I usually hate being wrong, but I'm very pleased by your depiction of him; he's exactly as confused as he should be, and his wit is, just as in the games, probably sharp enough to be registered as a deadly weapon.
Your characterization is tight, your technical skills are adequately sharp, and you're working within the bounds of the established plot without tying yourself to it too tightly. I have some issues with word choice and flow occasionally, but those are really the only things I can pinpoint as potential vectors of improvement, and I've never found an exercise to consistently help people improve in that arena. Without any insight into your process, I can't really give you anything constructive aside from the old saw "sleep on it before you edit."
In any case, my personal nitpicks aside, you've got a good story going here, and I'm certainly looking forward to more; enough so that I'll likely go poke my nose at your P4 fic.
| Ramix chapter 10 . 12/9/2015
Oh yeah. That's the good shit. Before I start up on how and why this chapter was positively amazing, I will just raise my hand in saying that I knew it was Metis, I'm not sure if that was supposed to be some sort of suspenseful thing? I thought it was kind of obvious based on the fact that some sort of robot was out looking for Aigis, and that doesn't leave much to the imagination, but maybe I just have good intuition.
Now on to the good stuff.
THAT WAS FUCKING AMAZING. I am finding it really difficult to find something bad about this chapter (or really this fic as a whole), but since I pride myself on leaving reviews that are not just blind praise and actually provide constructive criticism with which to improve, I will do my best.
I feel like the very affectionate nature of Minato and Mitsuru's relationship, while positively adorable, and a very welcome inclusion, feels a bit overdone. I'm not saying that two people in a relationship aren't allowed to be affectionate with each other but I feel like in this case, it's handled somewhat awkwardly. Things seem like their moving a little bit fast, and I know that its really weird to say that when all they're doing is teasing each other and rubbing each other's hands, but it seems to me like they went from holding hands on a bench and watching fireworks with an unspoken agreement to be in a relationship to just being really comfortable. I will admit that my memory may be a bit foggy since I haven't read this in a while, I was going to re-read it after I finished re-reading Continuance (which is also really good), but then this got uploaded before I could finish that. However, how quickly advanced is a bit jarring to me. I'm also a bit weirded out by the way that things advanced. Ruffling hair is pretty cute I'll admit, but it seems like more of a motherly or sisterly thing to do than a romantic gesture. I know that Mitsuru is supposed to be the universal big-sister/mother figure for all of SEES, what with EmpressMotherhood and all that jazz, but it still seems kind of odd. I'll admit that it was really cute on the first reading, but thinking back on it it seemed kind of odd, and especially since you used it twice. Also, I feel that although very sweet, the fluffy super-in-love aspect of their characters (particularly Mitsuru's) seems to be overshadowing the rest of their character. It feels to me like another example of things advancing quickly in a weird way, this is the kind of thing I'd expect from a couple who have been together for at least some time, and it's even stranger to me since both of them are somewhat out of their element. I do feel that this is somewhat alleviated by the little scene of Mitsuru's internal monologue (speaking of which, I feel that the transition into that was kind of jarring, but that's mostly nitpicking), but it still seems somewhat odd to me. Speaking of rushed, I want to say that while their bonding and...grieving? (I'm not sure what to call that) scene in the hospital was very nice, it also feels to be a bit early in the story. I get that you're trying to show that the heroes aren't invincible and the stakes are being raised, but I can't help but feel that knowing what we know about the plot, there are several moments in the story where this would have a greater effect, and perhaps adding a scene like this to those moments will now diminish the effect since you've already done it once. This is one of those times where an issue in a fanfic would be fine if it were an original work, but becomes a problem because its a fanfic, and there are several other factors you have to take into account. This also brings me to the reason he was hospitalized in the first place. Metis' ability to shut down Personas seems somewhat contrived. The actual fight against her was really awesome, and it certainly raised the stakes, but it seems like just randomly giving her such a story-breaking power is kind of weird. Like an excuse to put the Protagonist in the hospital, when just giving Metis an overwhelmingly powerful Persona and Orgia mode could have worked just as well. And then there's the other reason he was hospitalized. The whole "harm self to summon Persona without an evoker" concept honestly feels a bit weird to me, for similar reasons to the "Metis nullifies Personas" thing. It's a concept which doesn't appear in the source material, and shows up in the story mostly unexplained as a plot device to hamper the protagonist. Now, it's an interesting concept, and its not like you've been throwing it around everywhere just to squeeze some angst out of the characters (plus, it could make for a really cool twist on the "use hp to cast physical skills" concept), but I guess I'm kinda scared that it could become a recurring element. What also makes it stand out as odd is that there are several instances across the series where people summon without using an Evoker or anything, and yet nothing of the like happens, hell Takaya does it, and while self-mutilating whenever he summons is completely in-character for Takaya, I somehow don't feel like that's what you're going for here. It probably says a lot that most of my criticism amounts to things that could BECOME problems rather than actual problems.
Alright, now that THAT'S out of the way. Holy SHIT I loved this chapter. The relationship between Minato and Mitsuru was goddamn adorable. I can't get over how great the "He had it bad for her, but maybe she had it just as bad for him," bit was. And the Elizabeth bit was GLORIOUS, seeing Minato resign himself to his fate and then getting ass handed to him by Mitsuru was hilarious, you write Elizabeth so well, but I feel that the best part of Elizabeth in this fic isn't her oblivious zaniness, but rather everyone else's reactions to her, an element which I feel the original game sorely lacked, and you absolutely NAIL it. My only regret is that you could have milked the Elizabeth/Mitsuru interaction so much more. And then there was the fight scene. We finally got to see a full-on in-depth described Persona fight, and I'm pretty sure it was the first time that an actual named Persona was used by the protagonist (I might be misremembering here) and by God, you did NOT disappoint. One of my favorite Personas, to boot (although I'll admit a part of me was expecting Thanatos to come in and start tearing shit up, even though the Protagonist couldn't have Thanatos at this point in time). Seeing Cu Cuchulain tear apart Psyche was not just awesome, it was REALLY satisfying. I know I've said this in my previous review, but the way you handle the Persona scenes is great. And I really enjoyed the way you handled Aigis' internal struggle at the end there. God this is a really great fic.
Keep up the great work, I am eagerly awaiting more.
| Erin Carde chapter 10 . 12/6/2015
I'm loving this story you're showing me so far, and I'll admit, I wasn't expecting Metis. I had actually thought it was Labrys at first, and it wasn't until the comment about the armor, combined with the hammer, made it click in my head. This is going to be interesting, that's for sure. As to what may happen? I really have no idea. I definitely want to find out, though.
Here, take this as payment for your lovely story-telling prowess. *Tosses you a Soma.*
Best of luck to ya!
| Regis JN chapter 10 . 11/30/2015
I completely forgot about Metis in all honesty. That just made the wait all the better in my opinion. On the other hand I really enjoyed how Elizabeth showed up.
| A Dog in Fox Clothing chapter 10 . 11/30/2015
Well I haven't played Persona 2 at all, but I saw what you were getting at. Hehe.
Anyways, omg, it's been so long, but I'm glad this chapter is great! Mix of action and romance is always fun to read. I didn't guess it would be Metis and I'm terrible at this kind of foresight, but I am looking forward to what will chance later on in regards to Aigis, at least.
Keep it up!
| Pradian chapter 10 . 11/30/2015
Very nice chapter, love all that fluff! Looking forward to more soon!
| Ramix chapter 9 . 10/20/2015
I'll try to leave a more in-depth review about how much and why I love this story, but for now I'll just say that the amazing way you handle the Persona scenes here makes me kinda sad that you've confirmed they won't be showing up in Continuance.
| Regis JN chapter 9 . 10/16/2015
I just started reading this story, and I really like how Minato and Mitsuru interact. You make the fight scenes pretty good too, but one of my favorite scenes would have to be their first date.
| Zelda355 chapter 9 . 5/25/2015
That was Awesome! And don't worry, you pass.
I really liked the part when shinjiro was teaching fuuka how to cook, that was so funny XD.
And Minato date with Mitsuru was so cute, hoping for a more romance for the upcoming chapters. Yay!
Well done and you have impressive writing
detail. alot of people can really learn from you. And that that goes for me too. ;)
Can't wait for the next update and the one after that too.
| MsFreya chapter 9 . 5/15/2015
Thanks for updating. i really enjoy this story. I love it. See you next chapter :D
| Guest chapter 9 . 5/11/2015
Amazing chapter. It was worth the long wait. When I was reading the part with Mitsuru and Minato, I nearly squealed inside. Even though the game kept on alluding to Yukari being his canon love interest, I still ship the two of them together. Keep up the great work! I'm eagerly awaiting your next chapter!
| Jozern chapter 9 . 5/7/2015
Awesome chapter. Loved the date and I can't wait to get some more of that goodiness. Keep up the great work.
| That Guy chapter 9 . 5/6/2015
This chapter was completely worth the wait.
The festival was very enjoyable, and stayed pretty close to what would happen if there was an option to go with Mitsuru individually to the festival instead of with Aigis too. The start of their relationship was believable yet slightly corny with the fireworks. Good Ikutsuki development, the small back story made a lot of sense. The FM Shadow and Chidoris reactions to Minato were certainly unexpected but still interesting twists to the story. No giant grammatical errors that I can see and it's pretty well-written overall. Keep it up, man. Try not to keep me and the other rabid Persona fans waiting, yeah?
| Winter Arctica chapter 9 . 5/6/2015
Brilliant chapter. Worth the wait, just hope you don't make a habit out of it, though I understand how busy one can be. Anyway, this chapter covered everything of interest. Minato and Mitsuru's relationship, the mystery perso who was fighting the tank, Ikutsuki's foreshadowing, chidori's past, and a little cooking lesson from Fuuka to Shinji. All were brilliantly done. Only thing that got me was the whole height difference between Minato and Mitsuru. I thought Minato was taller since he's said to be 5'7 and Mitsuru is 5'5?