Reviews for Midnight Murder
TSUBASAxFAI chapter 16 . 9/15/2013
XD hell of a way to drink blood
Guest chapter 16 . 8/25/2013
LOL nice way to get it in Syaoran!
Guest chapter 10 . 8/24/2013
Freya is probably with Yuui
Guest chapter 5 . 8/24/2013
Kamui and Subaru return
Guest chapter 4 . 8/24/2013
Mr. Black? rly?
syaotsuba chapter 16 . 7/9/2013
What are ya talking about that was the best way ta drink syao-kuns blood
tsubasa love chapter 26 . 7/6/2013
please don't leave it hanging like this! I need to know what happens next!
please do continue
Deadly Shadow chapter 12 . 3/18/2013
He passed . But barely. I was going to get my dagger Damn now that weapon is wasted spent all that time preparing it to actually let the dang dogs eat. Oh well, lets go use some flames for some chocolate! Can't stand the ones that aren't melted!
-Aha, I love flames...
Deadly Shadow chapter 11 . 3/18/2013
She confessed she confessed! *Doing a small victory dance in her mind* I'm way to mature to do that... *Runs to Kira and squeals* She confessed yay! Now Syaoran's reaction if he rejects her his head is going to be the dogs dinner. And that's not a threat. It's a promise.
Deadly Shadow chapter 10 . 3/18/2013
My dream shove cake down Syaoran's mouth. Especially more now since in this story he's the prince/king of vampires I honestly don't know. But, if he's the prince is his brother the king? That's something... I've been curious about lately so you don't mind to answer if you can right?
Deadly Shadow chapter 8 . 3/18/2013
Aha, very clever. No more details from my reviews. I think those things I said last time was rude so I just had to say "I'm sorry! I just really, really enjoyed this story, and found it fit to do a nice long review to show how much I enjoyed it. I hope you didn't take it the wrong way, because I'll tell you again and again that this story is very interesting. I rarely review on anything but the last chapter lately, but I found it fitting as always to review before the last and let you know my thoughts on the story. Still sorry about the last review I felt like I offended somebody I wouldn't know with those kind of reviews some people can get mad easily." That's all I wanted to say, and hopefully the last review you didn't take it to heart I just like explaining sometimes about the stories, and now I really enjoyed the way you made Chi a vampire I hope that she now can live happily with Fai! As you guessed, I wished for a little more details in the scene, but that was good enough I guess. I got a little question though, whenever you write the things have you ever found yourself rushing over it? Or do you just not know how to perfectly imagine the feelings the characters may be feeling when you get to the point of may explaining the feelings? Aha! I did it again... Ahhh... I'm so so so sorry if you think I'm doing this to troll, be mean or anything else I just saw that other reviews aren't so long, and I couldn't help myself... I wanted to show I liked the story one way or another! And this is another...
Deadly Shadow chapter 6 . 3/18/2013
Okay thank goodness when Fai and Chi was talking you didn't describe what I thought you would, though these chapters are short, and the paragraphs are longer I think that if you worked on a little more visual and contact into the history, a little bit more than there would be more room for extra stuff to do the chapters a little longer. In a story like this though I expect the dialogue between characters more so you can see what they're talking about expect guess what most of the words would be and leave it up to the readers imagination to guess what is done. Like the stories I usually read it describes the dialogue allot more and that usually tends to please the readers more, if they don't have to actually imagine 100% through the story. I'm not saying at all that's it's bad trying to imagine what does happen, but if it happens in the story more often than the people will start getting bored, and hating it. The same way if people has more cliff hangers or to much humor and hardly any romance in the stories.
The point I'm getting at is that it is sometimes better to describe more in the talking and interacting between the characters than how this is I'm not saying it isn't great the plot line of the story is amazing I could never think of something like this in a thousand years, and probably won't ever think of something like this. Throwing in opinions of mine about how to increase the writing style, honestly I hate short chapters like these... With big paragraphs and not entering where the other character's own thing can be put in. Like say at the end of the thing when you put this,
'He pulled something out of his pocket. "Until then, this will be our link." He held out a silver bracelet with blue topaz stones in it. "Thankyou Fai…" The happiness in Chi's eyes shone brightly. "Stay with me tonight…" That was Chi's last request'
You could always increase it, and use enter so the readers can read more clearly and get a clear view about the story almost like a movie in these stories if you let your readers visualize it more in detail than the readers would be hooked to it say you said something like this
'He pulled a beautiful silver bracelet out of his pocket giving a bitter smile as he looked at the blonde infront of him "Until then... This will be our link.'
The happiness that came with the bracelet shined clearly in Chi's eyes as she looked at him when she took the bracelet but she had one more request... "Stay with me tonight..."
Her last request to be made to the one she loved more than life itself... Was made then.'
I overdo the dramatic part of these story, yes but the point of that is increasing the chapter sizes and making it look longer than it actually is to make the readers just burst in happiness at finding a story on here like that. I hope this helps And this isn't supposed to be anything mean, or an offense I love your story and the way it is, just thought that a little constructive criticism is a good thing every once in a while so I took my time, and tried something that might help you in the future.
Hope you had a good day, and enjoyed my review. Farewell!
-I'm like the only one between Kira and Misty that writes a good size review... Err... I hate reviewing, but does it sometimes when I see fit.
Deadly Shadow chapter 1 . 3/17/2013
Evil. Cruel. Sexy. And addicting. And, that was just the first chapter.
MadCoconutWoman chapter 26 . 2/13/2013
Oh that was lovely. Can't wait for the sequel oh and tell me when you start the combined story with me so I can start too. ;) oh and I would like to know about the funny misunderstanding. :P
MadCoconutWoman chapter 25 . 2/12/2013
Yay! Cute. More!
42 | Page 1 .. Last Next »