Reviews for Cold
Victoriousbeauty chapter 1 . 12/22/2013
its great but (and i hate my buts) if only you indulged in hiroki past more i want more cold to feel even more warm (and i am a sadistic egoist cat)
inuyasha.lover33 chapter 1 . 6/22/2013
Awww, so fluffy! haha
Wow, Hirokis feelings were transmitted so well, Im moved )
Leigh's Last Laugh chapter 1 . 3/8/2013

This story is beautiful. You handled the characters and subject matter with such sensitivity and insight.

Coming of age, Hiroki never had a "free pass" to experience his homosexuality without fear of reprisal. In Japan, being gay is not considered socially acceptable. You captured the desperation and unglamorous consequences of anonymous hookups in gay bars. And you made us feel the way Hiroki's hope for more died when it became clear that Akihiko - the one man with whom he thought he could feel safety and love - could use him for sex but did not and would not return his feelings. The chill of his body, the disconnect of his mind, the lack of climax combined to paint a poignant picture.

Then, after you showed us where and why Hiroki built all of his walls, you brought us back to Nowaki. Even though Nowaki freely offers the physical and emotional warmth Hiroki needs, he has to struggle against all of his defenses in order to accept it. It's moving that he has the courage and will to do so, both for himself and to avoid passing his hurt onto the man he loves.

Thank you for writing.

Guest chapter 1 . 2/1/2013
I was very impacted by the last sentence, telling me to live, live on. It gives me a lot of hope aside from the gorgeous writing
loopyhutton chapter 1 . 1/15/2013
Love the egoists most out of JR couples! Nice insight int Hiroki! Can't wait till your next story!
animeskullgirl16 chapter 1 . 1/12/2013
I liked it :) a nice insight on Hioki's life before his fling with Akihiko and life with Nowaki... and I loved how you included Kisa in it :3
FujoshiNinjaNumber6 chapter 1 . 1/12/2013
i am a fairly introverted person of few words, therefore i lack the grace of one with more diverse grammar and better sociability. (That, and i may or may not have ADHD or something of the like) Basically, my reviews tend to be very blunt and straightforward. But for this piece, i will do my best to get over my social awkwardness and have my thoughts be transmitted properly.

Despite the story being under 3,000 words in length, you have manged to convey the evolution of Hiroki's character and life over a period of about a decade in an emotionally satisfying summarization.

In the beginning, we see the start of Hiroki's downward spiral into despair and then how everything eventually builds up too the incident with Akihiko. That scene was angsty enough as it was, but with the added back story, telling us how even before that Hiroki felt that he would never capable of finding 'the one'- or someone who would return his feelings-, just made it all the more tragic.

And then after you finish recounting Hiroki's not-so-marvelous journey to rock bottom, we get a beautifully endearing dose of fluff from Hiro-san's current life with his beloved Nowaki to cushion the emotional trauma from the past. The love that those two share was the once unattainable to Hiroki, and now he lives it. You can't help but feel happy that after all that drama, Hiroki- and Nowaki too- is better off.

Seriously, for the first parts i was either frowning of poker faced, but then for that last piece i was smiling and gushing like the crazed fan-girl i'm so totally not... *ahem*

And then this phrase: 'I brought myself into this situation. I will take the responsibility. And live with the consequences.' i love how you used it throughout the story as a context for something dire, but then in the end had it changed to mean something completely opposite. i couldn't help but think to myself 'oh the irony' with this stupid grin on my face. xD

Wow, long review be the LONGEST i ever typed... erm good story and...yeah, i think i'm finished?
n_n; *flees into trees*
Anonymous chapter 1 . 1/12/2013
Loved it! Especially this line: "I've stood here so long all the hot water is gone. That's why I'm cold. Simple. If only everything could be so easily explained."
Hope to see more from you.
Daniel Lazerus chapter 1 . 1/11/2013
My dear Panda,

I cannot tell you what a thrill it is to see your first story posted on your own. And what a story this is.

While I have loved all your stories that you have so graciously shared under Egoist Pandamonium, with Cerberus Revised, this one resonates with me like no other.

You always deal with the egoists so wonderfully and purely and this story is no exception. You have such a great insight into the characters and treat them with the respect that they deserve. For this reason alone your work is always a joy to read. You also carry a distinct Eastern flavor in your text that causes your pieces to read so much like the manga, each piece is like a new JR episode I get to watch in my mind.

In this particular piece I thought you handled the possibilities of Hiroki's life with great realism and yet you also showed great taste and restraint His thoughts are shared by many who don't fit into conventional society and the environments, both internal and external, are excellently handled.

You have so many wonderful twists in the midst of all the angst. Hiroki, using Takahiro's name, the Kisa cameo... superb. I also noted that you didn't use Akihiko's name directly. I imagine that was because you didn't want to tarnish your pure Egoist vision.

The repetition of the different phrases throughout the story and the way the meaning varies from one point to another is a tremendous tool and you use it well to show the progression of Hiroki's life. The uses of temperature as a metaphor throughout is also beautifully done.

Your insight into the blind fold scene and Hiroki's thoughts were ones that I hadn't considered too much previously, but very much appreciate reading. I have always noted that so many fics seem to to carry on the idea that Hiroki never truly loses his love for Akihiko, though the manga clearly states that during the blindfold incident, Hiroki's love for Akihiko dies... "stops cold," if you will.

And what can I say about the last scene. The tenderness you show on the part of both partners is what drew me to this couple initially in the first place. You show them so in character and so loving. It warms all the cold places in me.

I always love Hiroki watching a sleeping Nowaki, and the kiss to Nowaki's heart. It's as though Hiroki is kissing his own. The movement from condemnation to salvation, from self-hate to self-love, from isolation and despair to connection, love, and contentment is heart wrenching and affirming simultaneously.

I know have been a bit of a beta for this, Panda, that I am not without my prejudice, but this is truly a breathtaking Egoist piece. Your voice as a writer is maturing and I am so delighted that you have reached a place of strength and fearlessness, enough to post on your own and receive the notice you deserve.

Your journey does not seem so different than Hiroki's here... and as I say this, I hope that this review leaves you feeling "warm."