Reviews for YuGiOh GX Revised
GearfriedTheSynchro chapter 2 . 1/27/2013
Not bad, but just repeating a story isn't good. Also, it's better to include the stats of your monster
Higuchimon chapter 2 . 1/19/2013
Actually, people get into Blue by going to the associated junior high or being promoted. And once again, you're just copying Juudai's story by having the OC duel Manjoume.

I also wonder exactly how your OC would take finding out that Manjoume is perfectly capable of doing a LOT of things by himself once pushed to it. Such as defeating entire schools when he has to, since he's defeated *ALL* of North School and a significant chunk of Duel Academia (twice, no less). Or will these "revisions" neglect his character growth and the Society of Light?

Also, there's no reason given for why Manjoume is trying to lord it over the Yellow students. It's just an excuse to get him to duel your OC, so far as I can see. He's just blathering about how he's in charge for *no reason*. Students don't lead other students around. That's what teachers and teacher's aides are for.

And I would think you'd know if someone points out rather *huge* timeline errors, you'd know how to fix them without your hand being held. And "revising" just to make your OC fit into the world is a very, very bad idea. Especially trying to claim that you're trying to "fix" things that *don't need fixing*. What would even need to be fixed?
Little Sage.Charlie chapter 1 . 1/17/2013
Nice Story Noah, detailed, and I like the way you described my deck. I look forward to more.
Powerup123 chapter 1 . 1/17/2013
Hey mate, I'm impressed! I will admit, I didn't actually use Xyz monsters in my Water Ally deck, but for the story, fair enough. I love it though! XD
Valdis-Supernova chapter 1 . 1/16/2013
Um, wow. I wasn't expecting someone to state right off the bat that their own super-powered OC is based off of his/herself... That makes you seem self-centered. Don't do that.

The writing isn't awful, but it's not super amazing either... But I can't give that many critiques on writing since I'm not THAT good of a writer myself.

(Also, I agree with pretty much everything Higuchimon said: be careful!)
Cypress Tree chapter 1 . 1/13/2013
Hmmm, seems pretty interesting so far. I always thought Jaden winning all the time was a bit sketch -_- even though the Elemental Hero Deck was my first...and last deck, but I digress. Anyway, looking forward to future updates.
Higuchimon chapter 1 . 1/12/2013
5Ds cannot possibly take place in 2708, given that Ushio/Trudge is the same person Yuugi attended school with. And GX is stated to have begun in 2004. And quite honestly, Juudai can find his way quite perfectly well without some OC's help: because he did. And if this person is from the future, they should know that. They'd see his entire story, including how he saved the world multiple times, fused with Yubel because of his love for her, and then saved it again with Yuusei and Yuugi.

Also, geez, ripping off Juudai's story much anyway? Bumping into him and Yuugi and getting cards that "wanted to go with him"? A special duel to get in? And then a one turn win? Not a good idea, not at all. For one thing, readers should want to sympathize with a character. Right now, he comes across a little too perfect (and not in the way Ryou/Zane was).

Of course, it *might* be interesting for the OC to find out what they were taught about history is wrong and they don't actually have to go meddling around screwing with things they don't understand. Juudai's perfectly capable of saving the world and himself.

Because he did.