|Reviews for A Fallen Star|
| StrongRed chapter 7 . 2/25/2014
I already had found the 69 before you said Kankri. Do I win? And I didn't know you had a MLP fanfiction thing. It's wonderful, I assure you dearest friend on the interwebs.
| Ali chapter 4 . 1/16/2013
First two chapters, I had to actually through random things in the air I was so bord. Three was slightly better. Slightly. Four, was well, okay I guess. Rating: 4 out of 10. Not the lowest scor I've givin so just keep writing and you'll improve.
| Vuld Edone chapter 3 . 1/15/2013
I could so flame you right now...
First thing you need to realize if it's not already the case, your story thus far is 120% generic, go read other stories - like you should - if you don't believe me. Not just the story, your writing, from the chit-chat to the narrator interventions, the short paragraphs with no description and so on. Again, go read.
Would be darn time you mark your style.
So first thing first, whatev' your story get to it, it has been three chapters already. Second, take time, stop sketching everything. Descriptions, transitions, give this skeletal text some flesh. No fillying, no useless rambling, either you have something to say or your story is just that, a skeleton. Third, characters, bloody time you give 'hem some shape and breath.
Fourth, I don't care if you fail those three as long as you show some efforts. Buckin' try, or at least give the illusion that you care about your own story.
Kids ain't kidding, so pony up and show your skill.