|Reviews for Expendable Heroes|
| Anon chapter 18 . 10/9
I don't usually leave reviews due to not being bothered to make a proper account and I really should be studying for my exams. However, it's really grabbed my attention that this fic has been getting some incredibly ugly reviews, most of which involve people reading all the way to chapter 18 and then pouring hate onto a plot point from 8 chapters ago, which really erks me because they clearly didn't deserve the epic awesomeness that is this fic. Also, why would you even read that far if you hate a fic that much rrrrrrrrr!
Anyway, I felt like I have to put in my own two cents that you made a bold move with introducing the alternate universe thing back in chapter 10. I get the feeling that its been a base-breaker simply because it breaks "standard" OP-team-seven-fic mould and put time and effort into exploring how a second set of "team seven" would react to meeting a different version of themselves. Which is something I've personally never seen done so well before. It gave me the same sort of vibe as the chimera arc in Hunter x Hunter, which also received quite a bit of fan hate for breaking away from a predictable plot to explore tangential details and characters. Personally, the sheer originality of that arc was what converted me from being a casual reader to one of HxH's biggest fans, and I feel the same way about your fic.
One of the best things about fanfiction is that its free to explore writing styles outside of literary standards and its a real shame some people think they're entitled to put down writers for writing outside of their preconceived notions. I applaud your originality and give you all the kudos!
| Apolaki chapter 18 . 10/7
It had started out as an interesting take on the AU genre of fanon Naruto, but then you went and posted chapter 10, which kind of derailed what little plot development there was.
Had you decided to make the alternate-dimensions thing the main plot, i would have said that the plot development leading to it was lacking and that you could have introduced it earlier on in the story. But you didn't and it seemed like the filler-arcs in the animé that many dislike quite fervently. Did the filler arc contribute much to plot development? I don't think so, it contributed very little, except for the tidbit informing us of Danzo's apparent involvement in Naruto's training.
Did you need some kind of situation to actually give out that kind of information? Perhaps, but it could have been something vastly more different and effective than dimension-jumping. You mentioned in the A/N of the very first chapter that this was a serious story, but reading chapter 10 and onwards: i don't believe you. There were serious moments, but the alternate dimension plot was just so... Meta, i can't even describe it. And not meta in a good way. I strongly advise you to add the Parody genre to the story so that people know what to expect.
At first i'd believed that the overall plot was basically a unique AU take of the usual narutoverse, but there is no actual plot, just plenty of character development. You write for fun, that is ultimately the only reason you've published this, but please be upfront with the wackiness. If you intend to make a wacky story, please invest the effort to make it good, to make the wackiness part of the plot, not just wackiness for wackiness' sake. Lord knows there are plenty of actually published books that achieve this effect with tremendously pleasing results.
Writing level: 3/5, minimal errors, save for the ooc tone of the narration that is confusing at times. I'd say HS level writing.
Storytelling: 2/5, that alternate dimension thing was simply a deal breaker.
Overall grade: 1.8/5
| kanae1865 chapter 4 . 9/26
For a moment I thought that Naruto was secretly a girl
| duchessme chapter 18 . 9/12
Thought this was abandoned
it was exciting to know it wont be
wonder if there'll be suna-oto invasion
| 125b chapter 6 . 9/3
| Hakan Kurohi chapter 18 . 8/23
Thank you for your efforts at making a badass team seven. I love what you've done so far and can't wait to see where you take this. Update soon please! .
| SomethingSomethingBears chapter 18 . 8/8
After reading all of this story up to this point I honestly just want to delete any knowledge of it from my mind just so I wouldn't have to know the tremendous amount of disappointment and anger I felt from chapter 10 and onwards. Jumping the shark is an understatement, you took the story and fucking Red Weddinged it. I thought chapter 10 and 11 was just going to be like some humorous filler that you might find in the original Naruto anime such as the episode when they tried to find out what was under Kakashi's mask. However, it turned out to be something much, much worst. I wish you the best of luck with this story and I hope that one day I'll return to find that this story has gotten back on track.
| Guest chapter 10 . 8/2
I went back to read this cause the first 8 chapters are awesome.. and then you went to this.. and it is just so far from what you started it makes me wanna catch the plane to get back. Seriously, what in the hell were you even smoking? how come you didn't share? ARE YOU HIGHER THEN THE SPACE SHUTTLE? damn.. seriously share next time, some of us wanna be able to follow your crazy ass high as a kite thoughts.
| JustADamFrenchFry chapter 18 . 7/31
Please please please update!
| Guest chapter 18 . 7/28
Please update it been seven months and I and probably many others want to read more!
| sam chapter 2 . 7/23
i love this chapter, could you tell me what your inspiration was for rewriting the scene this way, i am very interested in your work and would like to know more.
| sam chapter 1 . 7/23
i love this, couldn't stop laughing, (laughing because it is so perfectly written)
| musketau chapter 18 . 7/4
An Impressive story. The aside to another world seems more fitting to an omake than the story itself but it did introduce us to the fact Naruto was Root, which had been only a possibility before.
I like the character development, especially Sasuke. You didn't have them raised the same and come out different, but had the Uchiha still around, so Sasuke was more likely to be different. Sakura is developing and realising her limitations. The axe is a bit much, but fits a lot of the Sakura empowerment stories. Seems a bit of overcompensation for physical lack on her part, but it fits the story. Haven't seen a whip much, but a chakra controlled weapon is so useful.
Sarutobi is a real shinobi, something often overlooked, and he will do what is necessary. Was wondering if he'd try and keep the other Naruto, as 2 Jinchuriki are better than one, and this one is controlled, but it would have destroyed the story, or required them to see Sarutobi as an enemy, which would have carried over to their world.
Kakashi is well done. A shock to his system saw him truly training his team, and the results show. He cares, but is careful to show how much.
Overall, a great story that i hope is continuing.
| solitude00 chapter 2 . 6/27
Very nice rendition of the much rehashed bell test ...
| Pokemonever1994 chapter 17 . 6/26
Sora from the Filler?