|Reviews for Teardrops & Doctrines|
| Jade-Max chapter 2 . 6/3/2013
You're welcome for spawning the bunny.
Every time I've seen that clip, all I can think is PTSD... not that I think the writers of the show were that deep :þ
This was a fantastic view, if heartbreaking and sad, on what I can totally see being a rather common occurrence among the clones - but one that's never seen to such a degree simply because most of their issues would be with clankers :/
Great job on this!
| TheLightIsMine chapter 2 . 3/16/2013
You're very welcome :) I love reading what you come up with!
I like how this mission suddenly warps into Umbara for Tup, and every line blurs. I can totally see this happening in my mind, see it from his point of view. I like how his thoughts go back to Dogma (love the title :D) and the parallels he draws between here and Umbara, Krell and these Jedi. It's easy to understand why he would flip. I like how it's 'the past' whispering to him, almost like Dogma calling to his brother...gave me shivers. And the last line I just love.
This is an awesome take on what happened in that clip, totally makes more sense than the stupid zombie thing. I really love reading this series and seriously can't wait to see what idea you spring on me next XD
| impoeia chapter 1 . 2/3/2013
This is a really great OneShot about Dogma and Tup. Not just about their close bond as brothers, but which has a major impact on their actions on Umbara, but also about the very interesting mark Tup sports.
When he is first introduced to the series, he already has the tear-shaped tattoo, but technically he is supposed to be a rookie, so the viewer has to wonder, what happened to him for him to decide on that tattoo. I think you managed to find the best possible answer. Clones did die during training on Kamino and not only would such an experience leave a physical mark on Tup, but it would also explain why he chose to act along with Dogma in trying to report to Krell. Following orders is supposed to save your life.
Really, very well done. You captured both Tup and Dogma perfectly.
| Starscreamgirl13 chapter 1 . 1/18/2013
I like it. I think you should make one about Cody's scars.
| spikala chapter 1 . 1/18/2013
Great to see another fic from you, JainDo! And I must say, it’s a doozy! :D
Great to see a fic about Tup and Dogma, especially one that takes a closer look at both characters rather than just bashing Dogma. It sure goes a long way to explaining why Tup and Dogma held a reverence for orders and struggled so hard on Umbara to come to grips with disobeying orders.
Love how Dogma tried to tell Tup that it wasn’t his fault. Not pushing the point and forcing Tup to agree, but just stating it calmly and letting it sink in for poor Tup.
Love the brotherly love you’ve got going here, caring without eros, very tough line to walk imho but I think you’ve got the balance just right. I really liked how Tup realised that Dogma likes to be alone with his emotions; goes to show how close these guys are and how well they know each other.
I really enjoyed reading this and think you’ve done a really bang-up job here. So lovely to see.
| Jade-Max chapter 1 . 1/17/2013
You make Dogma a likeable character here; a soldier who has learned the hard way that to not follow orders is to lose your brothers - to lose yourself and to die. His name is appropriate, but at the same time, the reasoning behind his logic here where he insists that Tup isn't responsible, really solidifies [for me] his thought process that comes to be when we finally reach Umbara.
It's said we're all a sum of our experiences, and Dogma's has obviously given him a good reason for his beliefs.
The content of this piece, while setting up those eventual ideologies, also touches on something I hadn't considered; who were Dogma's squad? Who were Tup's squad? That you combined them into being one and the same is intriguing.
That Dogma -doesn't- recite doctrine and code and regulation when Tup offers him the ink and needles; the detail here is great. How there's just this... silent understanding between them. Tup trusts Dogma and Dogma shows he's worthy of that trust by imprinting on Tup's face something that is both poignant and reflective of the young clone.
Tup leaving Dogma alone at the end of the fic, knowing his brother needs solitude where as he needs the comfort of others, is a great character moment. One of understanding and wisdom and an acknowledgement [far more in my opinion than the image in a mirror comment] of just how different each of them is.
| TheLightIsMine chapter 1 . 1/17/2013
I love the relationship between 'dogmatic Dogma' and Tup here, you've portrayed the intense feeling of brotherhood perfectly without it becoming too 'romantic'. It's very believable and spot on for the clones. I love the way you've characterised them so perfectly, as well; Tup as the more earnest, fresher one, and Dogma closed, somewhat wary, older brother. The balance is great, and I liked how you showed development from them both in such a short piece, the way Tup 'wouldn't back down, not this time.' It shows he really wants this, and Dogma allows him this because he sees that.
'Prepared for an argument accompanied by a reminder of the Regulation of Appearance, Section 5, subsection C, addendum III stating no clone cadet will permanently mar his skin with ink or other substances' - haha! I have to use that somewhere...I love your humour, as you know, and little flecks of it here and there break the piece up and make it twice as fun to read.
Liked the mention of 'lines that hadn't been there yesterday'; gives to the feel of 'older-brother' emanating from Dogma, along with his admonishments not to touch, 'snatching Tup's wrist before curious fingers could inspect the swollen skin. "Don't touch it, you'll get an infection."' I really liked that, the brother-looking-out-for-brother. Made me smile. :)
'Tup usually saw Dogma's face, Gamut's face, every brother's face. But not anymore.' That was a great touch, a clone seeing a clone from his pint of view - what, and who, exactly do they see when they look in the mirror? And this tattoo has finally made him Tup, distinguishes him from the ranks. He's found his identity.
I'd read through it once more to check the formatting's okay (I saw a couple of words run together, a missing space here and there, which FF.N's doc manager often does), though, because I'm a perfectionist and that was bothering me. :P Overall, I just love this. The idea, to start with, was genius (as all your ideas are), and your natural humour and attention to detail really brought this to life. Characterisation was spot on, and I really can't wait to read what you write next!