|Reviews for The Eighteenth Quarter Quell|
| Karrington chapter 7 . 3/13/2013
WOW DONT KIll ME YET
| Calamity Heart chapter 8 . 3/13/2013
Oh, my... I don't know where to start with this review, so I guess I'll start at the beginning.
In the world that these people live in, the Hunger Games are the most terrible aspect of society, period. Many tributes (outside of Career Districts) who are chosen are understandable afflicted with the thoughts that they will ultimately die terribly. That said, any tribute (outside of Career Districts; this goes for Carly since she's from Seven) that volunteers because they WANT to be in the Games is no less than certifiably insane. If that's what you were going for in your character, you've definitely succeeded, however my problem with this is that other than that she is completely bonkers, we know absolutely nothing about Carly, except for the fact that she has an unnamed sister, a father from District One (?) and a friend who has a crazy brother who sleeps in the snow, and she also has a huge ego. There are no attributes, not even physical ones, that would make me care about Carly on any level higher than, "Dang, she's crazy."
My next immediate problem with the story is that the plot is as thin and brittle as the lead of a mechanical pencil, and it's moving at the speed of light. I read the entire story so far with a high-pitched sped-up voice in mind, because it's so fast and substance-less! :(
My thoughts on the Quell... I was interested in the idea of superpowers, because I was hanging on the hope of an explanation for how they got them. Some of the powers were more derpy than others (I.e. - beauty making people pass out, controlling the dead, shooting knives from fingers) but I was still just hoping for an explanation how... We never get it. They just... HAVE the powers somehow. This upsets me.
My next problem, which became apparent around the third chapter, is that your story has absolutely no dialogue in it. You only narrate and paraphrase what had been said. No one actually SAYS anything to each other.
I got a little laugh out of neon orange dog crap, but that was the highlight of chapter three. I find it interesting that she objects to glitters, but not to sparkling, which is the point of glitters. Enough on that, though.
Her chariot ride dress is too over-the-top for me, personally, but to each their own. Her alliances, though... I try my hardest to make sense of it, but I can't... Six people all team up before training even begins. Two of these six are Careers... It's not possible. I'm sorry, but it's not. Also, the non-Careers are impossibly efficient with weapons that they (as children) would not have access to in their Districts. I don't get it...
The rest of the story from there is just more one-dimensional plot, no dialogue, and cheesy attempts at humor. No character development or emotion to be spoken of.
All in all, there's a good idea somewhere in here, but it's lost in all the nonsense. :( If nonsense was your plan, you've succeeded, greatly, but if it wasn't, there's quite a lot you need to work on to improve the story, clearly.
| Axe Smelling God chapter 7 . 3/12/2013
I really, love the chapters i like the beauty queen nicki and i really liked her parade outfit and i liked the foolproof plan and
Im defiantly "Team Fluffy"
| Emily McCulloch chapter 5 . 2/15/2013
BRENDAN THIS IS EMILY ADD MOOORRREE MMEMEME
| Sexy Beast chapter 6 . 2/15/2013
| Karrignton chapter 6 . 2/13/2013
Love the story
| Lex chapter 5 . 2/6/2013
This is great. I love it! It is probably the best book I have read made by one of my best friends.
| Karrington chapter 5 . 2/5/2013
also which christian is is Palmer or Swinson
| Karrington chapter 5 . 2/5/2013
LOL i Love it !
| Alpha to Gale Omega to Peeta chapter 5 . 1/31/2013
What can't believe that she can fly lol... I wish I could fly... Also loved the chapter
| K Garland chapter 4 . 1/29/2013
Hi so far i love the story continue pretty please
| Alpha to Gale Omega to Peeta chapter 2 . 1/22/2013
I would love to have the d2 males power
| Radio Free Death chapter 1 . 1/22/2013
1. Its very rushed. Slow down, or better yet, start where the story starts. You don't need to talk about the Reaping if its going to be like every other Reaping in every tribute story.
2. Find a beta reader.
3. [Three Hours Later]: This should be shown in the narration itself.
| MMJ.Rich chapter 2 . 1/19/2013
WHUT?! This was the same chapter as the first. But had a different chapter name :)
| MMJ.Rich chapter 1 . 1/19/2013
Wow, getting straight to the point XD it was a good chapter and there were none spelling mistakes, so great start hehe