|Reviews for Race Against Time|
| Elhiri chapter 22 . 1/18/2015
Hello italian hobbit! I have lien with my iPad for 5 DAYS just to reed all your fanfictions. I really love them i have write dag few for my school and thanks of your insperation they went REALLY good️ i wish your luck in your life. DON'T stop working
| Lovely Lagoon chapter 21 . 1/18/2015
I know this is not supposed to be funny, but..
“..he had howled when Fili had left just to go to the bathroom”
..had me laughing, because I imagine him howling like wolf.
“..Who do you think you are, my father?” Ouch. I understand Fili got angry for that one. Though it wasn’t intended.
Poor Kili though.. he was left alone again and went outside to find Fili.. probably the most stupid thing he’s done in a while, but it’s understandable.
The first time reading this I was mentally scolding him just like Fili, worrying that if he got outside he would get sick again. Correction: he would get sicker.
I like that Kili could hear them during his coma. I mean, not that itself but the fact that you brought it into to the story.
I feel sorry for Kili though.
Imagine someone standing so close to you, giving up on you while you’re deathly ill, in a coma, and not being able to do anything about the situation.
That has to be really frustrating and most of all; hurtful.
This moment between the brothers is sweet. It’s sad, because Kili is sad, but it is also comforting. They have each other.
I particularly like how Fili is being the older brother here. His actions, I mean.
It’s like he has to lure Kili out of that pillow and then talk to him in a sweet way, to get him to say anything. I recall my older siblings doing the same to me when I was younger.
“I can be reasonable” Hahaha. That’s a first?
I still feel a little bad for Thorin. He’s such a proud being. I imagine something like that (being rejected by one of his kin) must be really humiliating for him. Suffocating, even.
It’s always a delight to re-read your chapters and drop by with a review.
| Lovely Lagoon chapter 20 . 1/18/2015
Another great chapter!
Poor Kili. I wanted it to be over with, almost as much as him (his illness, not the story – oh no, the story could’ve gone on forever and I would not have minded it, haha). That hurtful coughing and him not being able to breathe, I feel so bad for him.
It’s been going on for so long.
And we all know just how exhausted you get after coughing and vomiting. Poor dwarf.
Dís is just epic. No but seriously, SHE IS.
I feel bad for Fili though – who did not want his brother to know about all that stuff.
Still, I think it’s a good thing Dís “lectured” her brother. Though I do feel a bit sad for Thorin cuz he didn’t know just how bad it was. He didn’t know just how sick Fili was at that time.
The entire scene where Dís is shouting at Thorin and Kili/Fili hears them.. I like this part a lot. You’re such a good writer!
Kili is so sweet, caring and worrying for his older brother. I would’ve done the same.
It’s a good thing Fili and Thorin solved their issue and I’m glad Thorin gave him an excuse. He broke his word, after all.
| Lovely Lagoon chapter 19 . 1/16/2015
This has got to be one of my favorite chapters and I think you know why. Oh my God this reunion!
Okay first we got Fili coming home, HOME, feeling his home underneath his feet; or boots maybe, and it’s just.. just omg.. I’m feeling the hallelujah moment here!
(The only exception is Fili’s memory of Thorin almost choking him with his majestic giant hands.)
“..and Fili had to force himself not to burst into the house..” Awh he was so excited. Precious.
Dís hugging Fili and Fili breathing in his mother scent and comfort made me tear up. It’s so sweet. Especially how you added this sentence – “He was home now”. It's great. I don’t even know..
The FEELS. My God the feels.. ok no. Calm down.
But then.. we’re not even done yet because here comes the best moment of them all; the reunion of the brothers. *grabs bowls of tissues* Here we go..
Kili’s smile is just brilliant and infectious. So is his excitement to see his big brother.
When they hug it’s like the sweetest moment of all. None of them wants to let go of the other.
Yeah, the tears threatening to spill before just increased and now they are rolling down my cheeks, damn it. It’s so beautiful, I just can’t..
They’re so precious. Bye.
This chapter will give me good dreams, I am sure of it.
I suffer from bad dreams, so called nightmares, but this time I don’t think I'll have one.
“Kili immediately moved to lay his head on his chest, and Fili smiled, wondering if his baby brother would ever grow up”. Aww but you’re adorbs. Both of you.
This totally became more of a fangirl review rather than a serious one.
But there was just so many “feels” from this chapter. It’s lovely, oh so lovely.
I’ll treasure it forever.
| Lovely Lagoon chapter 18 . 1/16/2015
If it wasn’t for the numbers/names I would’ve lost count for how many great chapters you’ve written by now. This story only gets better and better.
“He pushed away from Balin and leaned against the wall, fighting back tears. He would not cry again. He had cried far too much in the past weeks. It was enough. He slid down to the floor and closed his eyes, cursing the unceasing pounding in his head”.
Ahh I feel so bad for Fili. He’s obviously exhausted, mentally and physically. Through your words, I can feel his need and want to get out of there, go home to his brother and make sure he’s still alive.
I feel even worse knowing how he panicked when they locked him in. I know they were only doing it for his own good but I understand how that would make someone upset. That someone being Fili and in great distress at the moment, which makes it even worse.
I think the bit where Dwalin opens the door and Fili keeps shouting at him in disbelief, due to the fact that they locked him in, is portrayed very well. He’s so insulted. I feel so bad for him.
The ending part with Balin and Fili talking, when Fili calmed down a bit, is lovely. Sad in a way, yes – Balin has lost many and the memory of it is sad of course – but it is also sweet (the ending part). One can tell that Fili shapes up as soon as he remembers this.
“I’m sorry, Balin,” he said quietly, humbled.
Yes, I love this. Wonderful.
| Pip the Dark Lord of All chapter 4 . 1/15/2015
| Pip the Dark Lord of All chapter 2 . 1/15/2015
Great! This is awesome!
| Lovely Lagoon chapter 17 . 1/14/2015
First I’d like to add two things, to the previous chapter. When Kili answered Fili’s question (about how he was feeling) with “Like death” – that’s a short reply, but it’s very powerful.
The second thing I want to add is that I understand Thorin’s rage. I don’t think it’s entirely justified but it makes sense he lost control over his anger, considering what Fili did.
All Thorin saw, really, was Fili raging at his brother. He didn’t know why. But he saw what it was doing to his youngest nephew so he knew he had to stop it.
I believe, in both of their cases, Fili’s and Thorin’s, it’s understandable they reacted the way they did, but it doesn’t make it right.
Now, about this chapter..
Balin and Dwalin. It’s impossible not to like these two.
(Well, actually, I find all the dwarves to be quite likeable).
The way you’ve made out Balin to be is just the way I remember him. He knows when something is up.
I like the whole scene with him and Fili. The way Fili tries to avoid revealing anything about what’s been going on in his family for the past couple of weeks, how concerned Balin is, from the beginning, but gradually his concern increases, Fili having another outburst (although much smaller and not directed to anyone in particular, maybe only himself).
Bless Dís. Bless good mothers in general, really - but Dís, especially. She knows, she always knows. She’s strong and she does what is right. She takes care of her sons well. This scene with her and Fili is lovely, though the circumstances could’ve been better.
Poor Fili.. I know Dís intentions are the best and that she’s absolutely right; he shouldn’t be near Kili at the moment, while sick himself, but I can see why he panics. No one wants words like that to be the last ones they’ve spoken to their sibling.
The last bit - where Fili asks his mother to convey the message that he’s sorry and that he loves his brother, is bittersweet. It’s a perfect way to end this chapter.
| Lovely Lagoon chapter 16 . 1/14/2015
“I’ll make you a cup of tea,” Dis said, rising to her feet. Fili removed his hands from his head and looked up at her suspiciously; she smiled reassuringly.
“Just tea”, she promised. “No sleeping draught”
Haha! I can just imagine Fili’s look when she said the word “tea” again.
“Calm yourself, he thought. You aren’t mad. He became aware of something restricting him in place, and he flailed wildly, pushing at whatever it was-oh. Just a blanket”.
I’m not sure why this is so amusing to me, but oh it is. Fili getting startled by a blanket.. what a sight!
“I’m so dizzy”, he said.
Dís came into the room and sat on the arm of the chair, placing a hand on his forehead; she frowned.
“You’re a bit warm”, she said. “How are you feeling?”
“Dizzy”, Fili replied plainly.
Dís rolled her eyes. “Anything else?”
Hello captain obvious. Haha.
So the first part of this chapter mainly made me laugh, which is a good thing, considering all the angsty stuff going on. Now, onto the serious part..
Reading this the second time, I understand Fili’s anger better. I’ve never been through it myself but if any of my own family members were to “give up” while still alive, I’d feel a tad bit of anger too, if not a lot.
This whole scene is written so, so well. Everything about it seems realistic and authentic. The way Fili isn’t sure what that tightening feeling in his gut is, the way this feeling comes back to him every time he think of Kili’s surrender the night before, how his anger gradually increases and escalates when Kili doesn’t give him the response he was hoping for.
I remember feeling for Fili but being so scared for Kili because it was obvious what Fili’s rage would do to him; in his current condition.
I get that Thorin is upset but damn though. For a second, when I read this, I thought he was going to strangle Fili completely.
The last part of this chapter is so sad. Fili’s renewed feeling of guilt – due to how he had shouted at his brother when he was already ill, his fear and shock of what Thorin had just done to him, how shameful he feels over the fact that he had messed up once again.
“No one was coming for him. No one was coming to help him. He had given offense to his entire family, and now he was alone”. That’s deep. And unfortunate. And I feel so bad for Fili.
This chapter is also one of my favorites of the story, due to how great you have written it.
| Lovely Lagoon chapter 15 . 1/14/2015
I feel so bad for Kili, having to put up with all of that coughing, wheezing, retching and pain. And for Fili too, he’s probably being affected badly by it because he doesn’t want to see or hear his brother in so much pain. Plus, the guilt that he felt before still remains.
The first time I read this chapter I didn’t understand why Kili was suddenly pulling away from them, not wanting them to touch him etc. I figured it was just him wanting to be left alone.
But now that I read it again I’m thinking it’s probably because he was about to let go, right? He was done with life and was planning to give up and so he didn’t want to make it harder by continuing to show affection/be close with them - it would make it harder for him to “leave”. Am I right?
“Fili looked at Kili, confused; then, a rush of blood ran through Fili’s ears like a hurricane as he realized what Kili was doing. He was saying goodbye”.
Oh my.. I can only imagine how hard this was on Fili. The first time I read this I was speechless, thinking “what if he actually dies after all..?” – but I was hoping he wouldn’t.
“Kili closed his eyes and let out a breath; he did not draw another one”. Shit just got real.
Thorin is just awesome. Well, I mean.. it’s sort of a super sad moment here, but I love how he doesn’t hesitate for even a second and goes straight to the point to try to save Kili.
“Kili, you start breathing right now!” Thorin bellowed, his tone carrying all the weight and authority of King under the Mountain”. And we all know there’s just no going away when the King under the Mountain compels you.
Aww, poor Dís, seeing her youngest like that, seemingly dead – she must’ve been so scared, absolutely terrified, yet she had the strength to take her other son away from there. I feel so much for her.
Oh so she put a sleeping draught in Fili’s tea? I like how he says it’s a mean trick. Dís is right though. It’s for his own good.
| Lovely Lagoon chapter 14 . 1/11/2015
I understand Fili’s refusal to let him go, after holding his little brother through a range of attacks. Of course he would want to stay with him. He’s worried sick.
At the same time I can see why Thorin wants him to go away. Sometimes, having an overly worried related near the wounded can actually make it worse.
It’s a good thing Thorin persuaded Kili, eventually. And a good thing that Fili followed (if I should call it follow, he was pretty much dragged out of there), so that Oín could get to work, undisturbed.
“Thorin led him to the living room and finally let him go. He sat in his chair by the fire and studied his young nephew severely; Fili shifted uncomfortably under his piercing gaze”.
So much like Thorin. I mean, who wouldn’t be intimidated by him? His aura alone is powerful, scary to say the least. Or should I say majestic?
Jokes aside, I feel so bad for Fili. He’s breaking on the inside. He’s tormented with guilt. And who wouldn’t be, really? Imagine causing a near-death experience of your own sibling. That’s like.. one of the most tragic things that can happen.
I really love this scene where Thorin tries to calm him down (even if he ends up yelling at him) but in the end Fili loses it completely. It’s very Thorin-like - I imagine he would raise his nephews like this - to be strong and not let their feelings get to them most of the part. This referring to his oldest nephew in particular.
“Fili lost it then, breaking down into hoarse, breathy sobs..”
Until something like this happens, that is.
“..Thorin’s strong arms wrapped around him in a warm, crushing hug”
Thank God he let him cry.
I believe Thorin expects much from both of them but considering Fili’s the oldest, I think he has higher expectations on him. It’s probably unusual for him to see Fili break down like this.
Pneumonia. Even with the treatment we have today, such complication can be life threatening for anyone who is already particularly vulnerable. Hold on Kili..
| Lovely Lagoon chapter 13 . 1/8/2015
At least the events of this chapter began promising..
Good thing Kili got some well needed sleep.
Good thing he felt less pain the following days.
Good thing he gave his all to get better.
I salute him for trying to regain his independence again so soon, even if he stumbles and feels humiliated along the way. It’s also nice to see he regained his ability to speak.
“It had been twelve days since the accident, and Kili’s recovery looked more within reach every day”. The first time I read this sentence I was happy, thinking that maybe he was actually on his way to healing completely (although the amount of chapters left told me otherwise). Now I know that’s not the case..
I imagine Fili must’ve got really startled, once again, when he heard his brother scream in pain. And with everything that follows, I feel even worse for Kili. That coughing and stinging in his chest must be so painful.
I like how you wrote this scene. It’s realistic and well described as usual.
I’m relieved Fili could offer some sort of comfort to Kili the first time, even if it’s not much.
It’s worse the second time, obviously.
(Not really the second time, since Kili had many more attacks, but you know what I mean). When none of Fili’s words could help, or even ease, against the pain his little brother felt.
Thorin’s reactions and actions are on point as usual. It feels like Thorin. How he would react, what he would do, say and so on. I understand Fili’s reaction when he saw fear upon Thorin.
I know I swift a bit from past to present sentence when I ‘speak’, in my reviews. It’s because I’ve already read the entire story – and therefore my way of expressing what I felt (and still feel) for the story gets a little mixed up. It looks so dumb, now that I’ve noticed it.
It also doesn’t help that I’m not a first English speaker. Sure enough, I’m familiar with the language but not even nearly as much as I should be from learning it for several years.
I hope it’s not too bothersome for you to read and that you can understand.
| Maxluvs chapter 15 . 1/8/2015
Could your write a oneshot of this chapter in either Thorin's or Kili's POV please? Awesome writing, by the way...
| Lovely Lagoon chapter 12 . 1/8/2015
Quiet is so unusual for Kili. Quiet doesn’t suit Kili. He’s way too excited and curious about life for that. Therefore I just knew something was up when he wasn’t being very responsive, and all too quiet.
Poor Fili must’ve felt it too. I really like how you included this scene: Seeing Kili so off reminds me of the seriousness of the situation.
Baby Gimli. *fangirls around the globe* That’s adorable!
(I’m a fan of The Hobbit but an even bigger fan of Lord Of The Rings).
He must’ve been so cute as a little dwarfling. And he wouldn’t move out of the way for Fili to enter.. LMFAO! I cannot..
Okay, moving on..
Oín is so nice. Helping them with whatever they need, giving out pills from left to right, examining wounds and all of that. Yet he refuses to have anything for it. It makes sense, considering they’re related and also because Thorin and his family are royals, but it is still so nice of him.
Poor Kili - having to take the medicine, especially since it tasted so awful. It reminds me of my years as a kid. I was often ill as a kid and I’ve lost count on how many dreaded medicines I’ve had to swallow through the years, mostly liquid ones which didn’t taste very well.
“Fili grinned proudly. “See? You’re doing well,” he said. The corners of Kili’s mouth curled up involuntarily.”
I can’t explain why but this made me smile. I guess.. maybe it’s because Kili is finally smiling, even if just for a few seconds.
Finishing this chapter, I imagine what baby Gimli looks like..
| Lovely Lagoon chapter 11 . 1/8/2015
“I know we can never convince you that you are not to blame, no matter how many times we say it. So please, Fili.. if you cannot stop blaming yourself, at least try to forgive yourself”.
She’s got a very good point here.
“Fili swallowed hard as his mother spoke right to the quick of his heart”. I swear. Mothers always know.
I love the affectionate relationship between Dís and her boys.
“Fili opened the door quietly and peeked in; Kili was signing furiously”. Oh Kili.. haha. I can’t help but laugh at this. He’s so stubborn and all but that’s just cute. I feel sorry for him though, knowing how frustrated and annoyed he must be feeling by now.
It’s sweet how much Kili missed Fili when his older brother was gone. It sort of reminds me of the times when I miss my older siblings. Then when they come back home I get super excited for some reason. It’s like the picture isn’t fully complete without them.
“The anger rose in Fili at his uncle’s words; he wanted to defend his actions, to argue that he needed time alone”. I recognize this so well. When you need to “get away” because you feel like if you stay, you might snap at whoever made you angry to begin with..
I think it’s a good thing he left the house for a while. It could’ve been worse if he’d stayed and gotten into more ‘trouble’ with Kili, maybe getting angry at him or saying things he didn’t mean. Well, I know that comes later in the story, eventually, but it’s good for now.
It’s just sad how much pain Kili is in. Good thing Fili is back to be with him at least.
The moment when Kili forgives him is great. It’s obvious he would, but Fili still got surprised.
“Fili’s heart lifted at those words, and he put all of his energy into his embrace, holding on to his brother as if he were the most precious thing in the world. And to him, he was. He was his Kili, and he was alive, and he forgave him. For the moment, that was all he needed”. Beautiful. Just beautiful. It’s one of those right-in-the-feels moments.
I have a feeling it will take me some time to finish these reviews but I’ll do my best.