you ended it to soon!

mooneys marauders. Oh I so want that to be harry potter crossover hint for future fanfiction.

Aw I'm so sad this is the last chapter! 97 chapters, and I'm still interested in what's going to happen next - that's the mark of a really talented writer. Your writing has improved so much over the course of this story too (and it started off pretty good!), particularly in the area of showing how events are affecting the characters emotionally. I loved how you made otherwise boring and minor characters into really interesting ones. The plot has been fantastic too, with lots of twists and turns and always something interesting for the main characters to do. I'm tempted to say you should probably end the story soon, since 330,000 words and 97 chapters is a whole hell of a lot, but you know what? You could probably keep going indefinitely. You've built such a strong world around the Mass Effect universe.

I really hope you're still out there and that you get the writing bug again one day. I'd love to see this story continue.

Wow, this is a depressing Normandy. Vega, Jacob and a bunch of rachni. Poor Shepard. I'm looking forward to seeing what you do with it though, and to be fair in your story the rachni are pretty awesome!

CC: Some major CC I feel like I should bring up here, since you've said a thousand times you want to hear it!
This chapter felt weird and confusing. After reading it, I'm still not sure what you were trying to convey. Maybe concluding the events Shep had just been through? I'm honestly not sure.
I feel like the dream was supposed to show Shep having a really hard time with all she had just been through, but instead it felt strange and out of place in a Mass Effect story. It reminded me of the really old Beatles movies, or Monty Python. Instead of feeling sorry for Shep when she woke up scared I was still trying to work out what the dream was trying to convey.
You seemed to gloss over some major news here that would have hit Shep pretty hard. First, the news about Tali, Thane etc surviving. I found it hard to believe that Hannah wouldn't think Shep would want to know that ASAP! Second, the news that Garrus is going to be okay. Shep didn't even acknowledge that.
Finally, something I really liked about this chapter was the moment between Hannah and Shep at the end. "I don't want to bury you" in particular was really powerful.
I hope this CC is helpful. Looking forward to reading more!

You're really good at using conversations to deliver important information, it flows really naturally. Sometimes it's a bit hard to tell who's talking, though, especially when you put someone else's actions in the same paragraph as another person's dialogue.

I love your ideas! It seems like you always have new and interesting ones. I also love that everyone has their own motivations. And it was a really nice touch to have Kelly do something useful, no one ever does that!

CC: only the author's notes again. Same thing I said before. I suppose the story is already written, though, and I know how much of a pain it is to go back and edit chapters.

Shepard's driving compared to Liara's was hilarious!

CC: I would have thought Shep would be a bit more relieved she wasn't indoctrinated, but she just seemed to shrug it off.

Omg the Kahunas!

CC: Remove "and your jumped up stripper over there" and that last little speech by Shepard would be perfect! (It sounds a little petty and diminishes Aria... Aria's pretty awesome.)

I keep hitting Next before I remember to write a review! Not much CC to be found here, I'm loving the story. The past few chapters have been great, especially the geth/quarian/human treaty and anything involving the Dekuuna Kahunas. Elcor artillery are the best thing ever.

I'm really enjoying this story but I wanted to give a quick bit of constructive criticism: sometimes these chapters can read a little like brief rundowns of events rather than stories, if that makes sense. For example, in the previous chapter Thane found out that Shepard has already lived these events and gone back in time, but seemed to be okay with that very quickly. It would have been more realistic to have him struggle with it, and be more suspicious. It seems like you might have been trying to give the impression that that was exactly what he did, but because it was described so quickly and over in a couple of paragraphs it didn't have the impact it should have.

Also, the author's notes at the beginning of chapters are detrimental to the story, I think. Already knowing what's going to happen in a chapter reduces your desire to read it.

That's all I've got for now! On the off-chance you're still reading reviews though I also want to say I really like this story. I love the idea behind it, and the concept that Shepard feels like her crew is family but they don't really feel the same way yet. I love everything you're changing and I'm really looking forward to what happens next. I'm pretty sure I've read this story before but it must have been years ago so it's all feeling brand new to me, and I'm really liking it!

Now, this is the sort of Fanfiction others should look up to; taking the simple concept of the Peggy Sue and turning it into an awesome, believable and epic story, one which I enjoyed for the whole 97 chapters. Kinda surprised how Grunt hasn't been recovered at this point, though I can only imagine that the captured Okeer will help out with that in a future chapter.

If you ever get this message, know that you have carved the purest diamond into the rough-hewn stone of . You need not finish it to receive the utmost respect from me and any other reader.

I really hope Liara is not dead.

Still holding out hope that this awesome fic will be revived ;-;

Childe Garrus to the Dark Tower Came