|Reviews for Man of the World|
| FanFicGirl10 chapter 36 . 12/2/2014
This was my first assassin's creed story and I absolutely loved it. I especially like the fact that Desmond, Altair and Ezio met and interacted with each other perfectly.
| Roku - Molester of Science chapter 22 . 7/31/2014
Haha! So now Desmond has a voice/spiritual mentor in his head, observing everything? Reminds me of Roku, a little. (just as long as Ezio didn't more or less participate in the luv-making)
So yeah, that was a surprising (and unorthodox) proposal, but cute still.
| Roku - Molester of Science chapter 10 . 7/29/2014
Well...piss. So that happened.
I still wonder if the Templars winning wouldn't be a win, seeing how the assassins winning meant a very much dead Desmond.
And piss again, Lucy was forced through that. That is going to be a messed up story for the kids...
| Roku - Molester of Science chapter 6 . 7/29/2014
C'mon Lucy, cross over into the light.
Though really, would templar rule be so bad?
| LooneyZampy chapter 36 . 3/20/2014
Story ends with a happy end... Well... I'm okay with it. Very different from most Assassin's Creed endings, but... It didn't bother me for once x)
And now that I've finished reading this, I want to thank you, because I had quite some nice time reading your story
| LooneyZampy chapter 34 . 3/20/2014
I will just say that I love the mythology and the explanations that you gave to the entire story. Loved the implications of everything as well
The only thing that bothered me, in this chapter ad much as in some other, the reader doesn't always know who is talking. The dialogues aren't always easy to follow, but we can kind of reconstitute them...
| LooneyZampy chapter 32 . 3/20/2014
Backstory on Desmond \/
I too was a bit sad that we didn't get to know his story more... And indeed, now I find it sweet that he didn't seem to have been doing drugs... I mean, it would almost be a cliché if he did, with the life he had... But Desmond is badass enough to resist and so he built a new life and you're a badass too for having managed to build a life out of nothing.
I can't believe I almost finished this story x))
| LooneyZampy chapter 29 . 3/19/2014
"You bastard, you killed Kyle!" ?!
ADMIT IT! *YOU* KILLED KYLE JUST SO YOU COULD MAKE THAT REFERENCE!
| LooneyZampy chapter 21 . 3/17/2014
Just saying that I love this story more and more as it progresses. It's almost half past three in the morning where I live, but I'm tempted to keep reading until I pass out x)
Seriously, the little events and everything are making this story even better. And you did your research. Also, I like your writing. Damn, I'm tired... But I want to keep reading xD
| LooneyZampy chapter 17 . 3/17/2014
I also want to note the fact you wrote the way in which their technology works perfectly. It's absolutely believable and doesn't sound like gibberish. It fits well with the story and I congratulate you for that.
Also, thank you for very nice OCs too :)
| LooneyZampy chapter 11 . 3/17/2014
So far, this fic was an interesting read, even if I was bothered by some details.
One of them was the fact that William's behavior towards Desmond was bordering antagonistic... I know that he isn't exactly a kind daddy, but at times, it was so extreme that it seemed a bit of a caricature. It looked as if you just threw all the "bad father" instances that you could think of, regardless if the character would be like that in the game. When he wanted Desmond to call Ezio for example, was one of those instances where you made William just uselessly cruel, to the point of making him downright OOC. In this chapter, however, he's getting some development and he's getting closer to his actual personality.
Another one was more in the writing domain, and it's the fact that you sometimes pick a word for a certain scene and then overuse it during the entire paragraph. In the chapter where Desmond and Lucy first sleep together, you wrote the word "idle" and its variations in what seemed every third sentence during several paragraphs. That's a detail, of course, but it can make the reading less enjoyable, and that's a shame.
On another hand, I really like how you wrote Desmond. He's believable and I could easily imagine Desmond from the game in those situations. You also made his character plausible for your fic, even with adding some little details here and there, like him liking to sing. Big thumbs up for that!
Also, the pacing of the story is nice. You don't dwell on unnecessary details, which is just great, but you don't rush it either, which in turn does for a very comfortable rythm. Here or there I might have felt that it went a bit fast, but overall, the pacing is spot-on (I'm insisting on this point because it's something that's generally surprisingly hard in writing, and mastering the right pace makes stories just much better) So it's very agreeable to read.
And finally, the plot. Up till now, I found it wonderful. Every chapter has something interesting happening (the passages with Ezio were great!) and there was not a moment to be bored. The story is interesting and it explores a possibility in the game... And it does it wonderfully :D
So I'm gonna stay with this fanfic till the end
| Myron23 chapter 5 . 1/2/2014
"...centuries of experience to draw on."
My dear Lucy, that is NOT something your supposed to say to a guy who is emotionally attached to you.
| Myron23 chapter 2 . 1/2/2014
I still would like to have known just what was going through Lucy's head when she noticed that Juno was trying to get Desmond to kill her, and whether or not She or anyone else was able to see and/or think while they were in "stasis mode".
| Myron23 chapter 31 . 12/13/2013
Well, I always figured that you left Connor untouched because you decided to leave the flashback story untouched and were only concerned with rewriting (not to mention redeeming) Desmond's story.
| Myron23 chapter 30 . 12/13/2013
I take it, you changed the "original/real" reason for Juno wanting Lucy dead?