|Reviews for The Dark Child|
| bwineylion chapter 8 . 3/16
Your fanfic was quite enjoyable. Although there were mistakes in grammer and spelling, I didn't find them as detrimental to the story as people keep saying. I loved the dashes of humor and the adventure. However, some parts of the plot were inconsistant: Harry's characterization seemed to change a lot and it confused me when he said he didn't kill anyone. Didn't he murder that muggle earlier in the story? Anyways, it could have been improved, but it was still a very fun read
| Mullkkkkkk chapter 8 . 3/9
This was awesome, you just use commas too often, I have a great rule for that though "When in doubt, leave it out" it worked for me
| Amalia Keri Repko chapter 8 . 3/1
As you said in the Author's, your grammar is terrible but otherwise the story was really good. I wish you had gone into a little more detail and elaborated on your ideas more. The plot line of the story was really interesting and it is kind of sad that the detail doesn't match the complexity of the plot.
| Guest chapter 8 . 2/17
i love this
| Guest chapter 1 . 12/28/2013
Chapter 2 and on wards feels bland...expressionless, there is no descriptions, no visual imagery or innuendo to make it more colorful.
The world you have built is dull, lifeless and in grey.
| Free Siri chapter 3 . 11/19/2013
You're slipping between first and third person. It tends to annoy some people. You should probably fix that.
| Free Siri chapter 2 . 11/19/2013
You use too many commas. I know the love of commas is great and all but some are unnecessary. Also you jump between past and present tense. It's kinda hard to stick to one when you're used to using both in different stories huh?
But otherwise it's great. I was kinda worried that this would be a first year fic that promised a sequel that never came. But no. So I'm gonna continue reading.
| MrGagaSlashLover chapter 1 . 11/15/2013
I like this alright, but I feel the events in this chapter were rushed...You covered almost two of the books in one chapter...It was good I just feel you could have spaced things out added details. Like maybe expanding on Qurriel even though I loath him. maybe explaining how he got the stone? As for the second half, It felt something was missing there. I will continue but I suggest in the future not bunching things up and explaining the bare minimum. This wasn't a flame just some advise.
| Anaelyssa chapter 8 . 11/8/2013
It was a nice story overall. The scene where Dumbles dies was kind of anticlimatic though.
Good luck with the beta.
| Anaelyssa chapter 2 . 11/8/2013
Your punctuation and grammar sucks! What is with all the commas in the most inappropriate places? And then there's the usual "your" "you're" thing and so on. And yes, I know you stated that you have mistakes right at the beginning.
Oh well, I keep reading because it's moderately interesting and funny at times.
| Sam chapter 2 . 11/6/2013
you have way too many commas. like every sentence has about 8 commas. its ridiculous. the story is good but you you need to rewrite it better. id seriously consider getting a beta.
| xXxOtAkU-444xXx chapter 7 . 10/30/2013
I like it! **
| talenkarr chapter 1 . 10/15/2013
Hello I saw that you were a bit upset about the "mistakeds" (lol see what I did?) But thik of it this way. If you Look at the origional and the corrected you can see how far you have come as a write. See proof black and white that you rock. And any flammerers you can feed to Assara
P.S I love Assara
| red chapter 2 . 10/3/2013
you are awsome!
| emthereble chapter 7 . 10/1/2013
Loved it !