Reviews for (love song, with two goldfish)
howardtduck48 chapter 1 . 10/24/2014
Well, that was a downer. Very well written and told.
GT500RonSmith chapter 1 . 6/5/2013
sxcthing123 chapter 1 . 2/21/2013
Love it
knittingeek chapter 1 . 2/2/2013
You are "crazy brilliant "
I honestly don't know what else to say
Tashadan chapter 1 . 1/28/2013
This will haunt me for a while.
The way you use "curly", "vivid", "rise" "inescapability" and "wash" in one sentence raised and crushed me like a giant wave in one single sentence.
Now I feel as if Beckett and I both need a happy pill. Or a vacation. Preferably not by the sea.

Very, very beautifully done!
Sandiane Carter chapter 1 . 1/26/2013
She hears his fingers tripping soft over the keys, the whispered rhythm dragging her out of a hazy and ever-fading violence.

GQKJKDHLCFGKHLFJHLSJ I don't even know what to SAY, just, the way you use wordsssss I cannot even Jessie whyyyyyyy why are you DOING THIS TO ME. And oh the thought of her dreams only being murders and blood and violence why don't you just KILL ME NOW.

his face stark in the too-bright glow of the screen.

And how you paint such striking pictures with so little words howwww HOWWWWW

Don't stop, she says, but what she really thinks is – You can't.


It's not even a bad one but she comes home drowning in it.

I SWEAR. Your WORDS. I swearrrrrrr

lies in bed at night feeling the hot trails of blood twining up her ankles,


You have a good afternoon? she asks, watches her question ripple through his shoulders

I want to cry because your writing is just so beautiful, SO BEAUTIFUL "the question ripple through his shoulders" ungngngnGNGNGNNNNNNNNN

caught on a line he can't escape, and she sees it, the dark fade of his eyes, the quiet gasps for the same air she can't find.

sobbing sobbing SOBBINGGGGG

There's filet mignon, he says, trying, a far-away want bleeding through his tone.

You're going all out, she murmurs, doesn't let him see the flip of her stomach, the curling tendrils of nausea at the thought of it: the quiet slide of their bodies into the cold leather of the chairs, the resistance and then yield of the steak under their knives, the cloying and inescapable darkness.


They're inches apart, but the void shakes out of its coil and unfurls, stretching into all the hollow spaces until the distance is an unbreachable chasm.

I swear. I swear. That line. ALL THE LINES REALLY BUT THAT ONE, UNG, I do not even KNOW what to do with it. It's like. ung. no. no I can't. It's too beautiful and heartbreaking and I'm not going anywhere near it.

They both laugh, let the awkward pause flit over them for a beat, and then the familiar rhythm is wrapping around them, the stifling volley of theories.

LKGKJKJSKTYHK;FH,D;FDHM and how it's the only way they can connect the murders and theories JESSIE WHY DO YOU RIP MY HEART OUT WHY

The arc of the dining room bounds her, traps her, pushes her back to the slash across the stomach of the dead teenage girl, the spill of intestines onto the frozen sidewalk.


And also how he wants to take her to Venice and they manage the HAMPTONS and that gap, that distance between his dream and what he wants for them and what they actually get in real life - yeah, my heart's broken. dead.

The dawn is winter-damp and bleak, but right as he finds her it starts washing to a vivid red, a slow bleed of cerise through the sky and ocean.

Oh Jessie, so damn gorgeous.

The curling thrill at the red and vivid rise of sun is gone for her. She feels only the inescapability, that same red wash of color morning upon morning.


you are amazing.
Lydian Stone chapter 1 . 1/25/2013
I admit that the muted conversations, the careful distance they held by no longer bothering to encroach into each other's personal barriers, and for some reason the lack of quotes made me suspect that the dialog was more thoughts than spoken words and I half expected there to be a twist that one of them was imagining the other. I was trying to figure out who had died and who remained until it was clear that was not the case. Then I read through it again without any presuppositions and was washed with the realization that the death scenario would somehow be less depressing than thinking that their lives could come to this. This was beautifully written and while we all want to imagine the best version of our pretty fictional friends, the reality is, this is probably how a lot of relationships end in their line of work. Very insightful. Sobering and uncomfortable, but in the most poetic of ways.
gathers-no-moss chapter 1 . 1/25/2013
This is absolutely gorgeous.
aloh0mora chapter 1 . 1/24/2013
Exceedingly cool technique. It amazes me how much omitting quotes changes the taste and feel of a story. In this case I feel like it lent to the weighty sadness., cool, cool.
nikkifuego chapter 1 . 1/24/2013
Oh, ouch. I love this because it's something we'll probably never see them explore in the show - and I wouldn't want them to, tbh, but it would absolutely come up between them and you wrote it so beautifully. The lack of quotation marks works wonderfully in this piece.
breathelifein chapter 1 . 1/23/2013
Equally heartbreaking and beautiful. Ugh.
Anon chapter 1 . 1/23/2013
Gosh, this is absolutely heartbreaking but it's so freaking beautiful at the same time.
chezchuckles chapter 1 . 1/23/2013
As I was reading this, I realized I was cutting and pasting EVERYTHING into this little box and really, really, REALLY I should cut that out. BUT REALLY IT IS HEARTBREAKINGLY BEAUTIFUL.

(He's bowled over. He would
take her to the ocean, they could
count the waves. There,
in the submarine silence, they would share
their deepest secrets. Dive for pearls
like stars.)
-I'm sorry but I really love this poem. I'd never seen it before and the combination of humor and terrible grief is amazing.

Nikki better be kicking some serious ass, she says. She's surprised at the rasp in her voice, the jagged ache that's sunk itself deep into her throat.
-wow. just that image of her dragged out of a nightmare to face another kind of nightmare - his separation from her, his pulling away into the world of writing, and how lonely she is

Don't stop, she says, but what she really thinks is – You can't.
-exactly. and I know that feeling - writing something when I should be doing all manner of other things, and how Castle lets the grief and the murders feed his writing beast, but it's killing her

He's staring out the window at the spread of street below.
-this image. wow. this image and all it took was handful of words.

He comes to the precinct same as ever but it's like he's being reeled there, caught on a line he can't escape, and she sees it, the dark fade of his eyes, the quiet gasps for the same air she can't find.
-this really got me. the fish allusions of course were perfect, but more than that, it was the fact that not even Castle can keep his head above water

he says, like that's any consolation for the days that it doesn't come at all, like that makes any difference when there's always another, another whispering behind them, another chasing them down.
-the relentless nature of this work. this is just so real, jessie. it's real. I have known like one homicide detective ever and I hear there is crazy high turnover until you get the ones that eat and breathe that job and Beckett would be that kind of person until Castle forces her to NOT and then what happens when Castle is pulled away and drowning in it too. what happens when not even Castle can laugh his way out of the darkness?

filling the negatives with a lonely kind of darkness. They're inches apart, but the void shakes out of its coil and unfurls, stretching into all the hollow spaces until the distance is an unbreachable chasm.
-I read this poem once by Ruth Finer Mintz and she wrote "the distance spills itself." and this line here just brings that ache right back.

doesn't care if it's someone he still wakes up secretly pining for in the dead of night, so long as it will let them talk about anything else.
-ouch. wow. filet me why don't you?

but Karen Smith and Bryan Woodlawn are still waiting for them and Karissa McGhee's just floated up in the Hudson,
She's up with it all night, Karissa's fragile stretch of bloated skin, the slackness of Bryan's unhinged jaw, the vivid broken capillaries spindling out from Karen's grey irises.
-this is such a startling thing. you've made the victims the NAMED entities in this story so that they are given a more real and immediate life than the two main characters. the non-quotes around their conversation also lends itself to making us feel like our characters are shades of themselves. it's just so well done.

The dawn is winter-damp and bleak, but right as he finds her it starts washing to a vivid red, a slow bleed of cerise through the sky and ocean.
-cerise. wow. the slow bleed of cerise. wow. I wish I'd written that.

No, she sighs. She can almost catch the curve of the horizon, the same endless arc pushing them back, looping them again and again onto the only thing they know.
-the endless snake eating its tail theme. it makes me sad that she sees that in the ocean, because I always feel the opposite about both sky and ocean - endlessness - but I love this here because everything gets weighed down by murder.

Maybe, she says.
-ok, so it's not hope, but it's a hope for hope, and that's really the best part. no resolution, no promise that things will be better. just that maybe. that one word. and you can almost hear her thinking - maybe not. but castle still has some fight left in him, he's still trying, and as a reader I content myself with that.
LoveJessieLou chapter 1 . 1/23/2013
That left me speechless. So heartbreakingly beautiful.
Ginger Valkyrie chapter 1 . 1/23/2013
I don't understand, really :(
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