Reviews for Pen Pal
FlaFan chapter 1 . 8/19/2013
Now that's teamwork. Great story!
kimberly.leach.35 chapter 1 . 4/14/2013
Thanks for bring back a fond memory. I use to have pen pals. This was very well written.
Guest chapter 1 . 2/8/2013
Definitely reads better this time through, sounds more like Roy. :)
Caseymac42 chapter 1 . 2/5/2013
This story is re-edited from its original version. I did agree with a few of the points that readers had made, and wanted to fix them. So thank you to those who offered me the few suggestions. Hope this sounds better. :)
DakotaCelt chapter 1 . 2/4/2013
Nice story and I like how you incorporated the guys in Roy's response. The description of the guys I find a little odd for a 13 year old. Aside from that small point, I liked the story.
Cap chapter 1 . 1/29/2013
Very sweet!
Guest chapter 1 . 1/28/2013
This is a very nice piece, I wonder how Melissa would respond to her answers, would they eventually exchange pictures? Will she be back from overseas with her family and get to meet the crew of 51's "a" shift?
I bet there could be multiple stories attatched to this one making a great series. Liz
caseymac42 chapter 1 . 1/26/2013
Guest #2, thanks for pointing those things out to me. After I wrote it I thought that the things that you pointed out had bothered me a bit too. When I get the chance I will edit the story and make the few adjustments. I am glad you and some of the others enjoyed the story. Thanks again.
Guest chapter 1 . 1/26/2013
Sweet, but one big thing: I think when Melissa asks Roy to tell her more about his crewmates, she's not asking for Roy to physically describe them and I honestly do not know of any guy that would do that, especially in a letter to a stranger and in a letter that his shift-mates read before he sealed it. Roy seems extremely strange as he's telling a 13 year old girl that Johnny has a crooked smile or that he's tall and blonde or that Chet has curly hair and a moustache. It just seems odd that a man would do that in a letter to a child because her question was not "what do your friends look like?" but "feel free to tell me anything yourself and the crew." Most guys would tell her the basics, like Chet was a prankster and Marco the cook, but I don't know of any male that would so avidly describe the physical aspects of his friends to a 13 year old girl. Even stranger still was his remark that he was married because Melissa already KNOWS he's married, she says that she wrote to him because her teacher told her she had a friend that had a husband that was a firefighter, so the kid knows Roy's married, right? Plus you bounce from describing Johnny to saying that Roy and Johnny are firefighters, then you bounce back to Roy describing himself, so the letter doesn't flow right. Also, when most people write a pen & ink letter like that, they don't use a lot of ellipses because it doesn't "sound" right. Usually ellipses note a dramatic pause while speaking or thinking and there'd be no need for that in a letter. Otherwise the story isn't bad at all, I just spotted those things and they bothered me enough to say something.
Guest chapter 1 . 1/26/2013
Anyone who didn't already know the guys from 51 would get a good insight into them from this. So like Roy to taqke time to do it right and not just blow it off as just some kid's homewowrk.
sandybeliever chapter 1 . 1/26/2013
Very sweet story.
51Dreaming chapter 1 . 1/26/2013
Lovely story, particularly the end, when every man signed the letter. I wasn't expecting that.
Very Roy-ish. ;-)
lovepeacebird chapter 1 . 1/25/2013
I was in tears by the end of the story as it was so touching and heartwarming :)
Karen19 chapter 1 . 1/25/2013
Great story. It would be interesting to have a follow up story to get her reaction to the letter and if she becomes a firefighter or paramedic. But that's just a suggestion.