|Reviews for Dragons heart but a human soul|
| Hancock23 chapter 16 . 12/10/2016
It feels like you have forgotten what you had been writing about and started writing random stuff.
| mattdombast chapter 4 . 8/4/2016
Nice plot but the grabbers tell her that her parents or bell. I'm Rudi polts goof
| mattdombast chapter 2 . 8/4/2016
You have Harry's birthday September 3rd then October 31 make up your mind
| SciFiLvr13 chapter 6 . 10/12/2015
Fraternal look-alike would be the term for Brisa and Bran since a male and female set of twins can't be identical.
| Resident Evil Lionhart chapter 1 . 7/8/2015
Okay, this rambles a bit too much. It is starting to hurt my head trying to keep up with it. Also, it bounces around too much too fast. Perhaps you should also keep to one POV per chapter; try third person omniscient.
The plot sounds interesting, though I can't keep reading it due to how all over the place it is. Sorry, but I'm not going to keep reading. If you edit it some and then send me a PM, I'll try reading it again.
You can do it! I look forward to a new attempt to read this, so please edit!
| Fruits.Baskets1 chapter 22 . 7/1/2015
Are you going to add more or not but whether you choose to or not its interseting
| tamer.of.the.wild.things.13 chapter 21 . 6/5/2015
Okay, I read through the whole story, because it seemed like a unique concept- and I don't like to discourage people, but this story could use some work. It's very creative, but it is also disjointed and lacking enough actual resemblance to HP that it should be considered almost a stand-alone story rather than HP fanfiction. I get that people like to put their fave characters into situations they create themselves and I myself do it regularly- so I'm not trying to come off as critical. But again, the whole franchise is called Harry Potter and you didn't even keep his name- and most characters were OOC. You could be a good writer if you worked with a good beta or did your own originals, so don't give up- but when writing fanfiction, you should please label correctly and make sure readers know right off the bat that your story is AU and characters are OOC. Good effort for a first try though. :)
| tamer.of.the.wild.things.13 chapter 3 . 6/5/2015
Sorry- gotta double check- this was beta'd by your dad? It must be awesome to have a dad that is accepting of you writing gay fanfiction!
| Pleasanttrouble chapter 20 . 4/23/2015
I'm curious. Regarding the baby girls name. Have you ever seen ladyhawke?
| Guest chapter 2 . 4/17/2015
When you wrote out the letter to Harry from Tom that you mixed up the date of his birth, one September 3rd the other October 31st just thought I would point that out
| SlashFan chapter 1 . 1/25/2015
Sorry, but after reading all your reviews I just had to write something. I don't know which stories the majority of your readers are used to, but your story is really not a good one. I have read many good stories and yours is far from it. You have absolutely no concept, almost no plot. Do they even have lessons? It is like one revelation after another and that's all, your story is about. Then there are these absolutely confusing changes in point of views. And you should really work on your storyline your spelling and your grammar.
| Lara chapter 18 . 9/14/2014
I love stories were Sirius is brought back from behind the veil, he has always been one of my favorite characters.
| Guest chapter 21 . 8/7/2014
Loved it! XD loved how you timed skipped it to the birth scene! :)
| hauntedpumpkin56 chapter 21 . 8/5/2014
I loved this story. great work. thanks for posting. Harry is so cute.
| Smiling Seshat chapter 1 . 7/29/2014
You should go back to your first chapters and edit them. They need it, badly. The sentences are way too long, and consist of several, crammed into one. Also, the constant change of points of views is confusing - if there are changes, then do the changes once every 1000 words (and that would still be considered too short for many people).
You also need to work on the characters. It sounds like you wanted to create cool characters, give them super cool abilities just because you can, but with no thought for how they are completely OOC (out of character, they do not act like they should in this given situation). Also, the letter Harry writes is not like him at all - he starts joking and stuff to an ennemy? He wouldn't do that. If you read the books, you can clearly see why. At least give a proper reason for writing a letter.
If I couldn't contact people over the summer, I wouldn't start contacting people I hate.
Also, Voldemort killed many people before James and Lily died. He did not start because of their death. Even so, just because he has a 'reason' does not justify killing, or make it seem more romantic. There are many other flaws and plotholes in your arguments that just make the first chapter unbelievable and hard to enjoy.
So yes, despite the spelling in this first chapter being somewhat okay, you really need to work on all these other aspects, and add more punctuation. Also, careful with the verbs, you often switch between past and present when it should stay one of them.
I'm sorry if this sounds like a flame. It isn't. If it was, I'd send insults. I took the time to write this message so that you would work of the points mentionned, and improve.