|Reviews for The Queen's Champion|
| LORDCHAOSOFGREEK chapter 39 . 10/19
dude this is the most awesome story ever
oh and you might know me from wattapad
Suhasreddy051 signing off
| Last Pagan Emperor chapter 2 . 10/8
Hey I still got the hardcopy of this story from the original author! Keep up the good work keep em proud!
| Guest chapter 39 . 9/14
This is a great story and i love it.
| Guest chapter 2 . 9/13
Nyah Nyah Nyah!
| Astra2111 chapter 39 . 9/9
Hi there! This was awesome! I loved it! I'm satisfied with the ending no matter what others say. You write beautifully and I will definitely check out the recommended story. Have a great day! :)
| VincentFS chapter 1 . 9/8
Somewhat boring first chapter. The repetitive use of 'and' in a sentence definitely needs to be dialed down. The chapter also seems a little rushed and the emotions of your characters didn't really come off as strongly as I'm sure you meant them to.
The betrayal itself needs to be written in as a scene, not some paraphrased summary. You're revolving your whole story behind the thought of Annabeth betraying Percy, along with the changes that you think would come about from it, but you don't actually write out the betrayal.
That's a little silly.
Some other reviewers mentioned abuse from Artemis in later chapters, I'll save my opinions until after I've read those scenes. Multiple people pointing it out doesn't really inspire confidence, though.
So my thoughts overall for the first chapter? Mediocre.
Improvement can be easily made by just putting a little more effort into your dialogue and monologues. Thoughts of the other characters should be made clear to the readers. Facial expressions and even describing the tensing of a character's muscles would be great ways to show more depth in your story.
Hopefully, the chapters after this one are a little more put together.
| The Lord of Time chapter 8 . 9/7
When the ***** comes out, read the part with the chill and rage. That's all I saw
| sevi8816 chapter 39 . 9/4
Haven't read PJ in a long time and this is the first fanfic I've read but this was amazing. I loved it.
| Estella Delphini Valentine chapter 5 . 9/2
Baseless hate is a sign of a weak mind.
I myself am likewise burdened by this flaw.
| Yer ma chapter 20 . 8/29
Where’s the bloody smut ffs
| Hatred boy chapter 11 . 8/15
The moment when Artemis cuddled with Percy its just bring me sadness cuz my girlfriend cheated on me and the last thing we do before we broke up was cuddling on a sofa
I hope your story have more review
| jimmy.oz chapter 38 . 8/14
not bad about him denying godhood since he can still help the demigods and he is still extremely powerful without it.
| jimmy.oz chapter 21 . 8/14
Technically that means that if he was to die he could get with someone else since he said as long as he lives lol.
| TheNobel1 chapter 6 . 7/29
What the fuck could he have done!
Zoe chose to take the blow meant for Artemis.
Meanwhile poor Percy was stuck HOLDING THE SKY!
| Zoe Hunter of Artemis chapter 12 . 7/29
But then no one would be in charge at Camp Jupiter…