Reviews for Johnny Gage and the Order of the Kleenex
Kamkats chapter 1 . 1/17/2015
What the hay? This wasn't even funny. I know what's funny, trust me, I've done spoofs before and this wasn't funny at all. I'm sure you must think that drug-trafficking and all that other garbage is hilarious, but I don't. I apologize for being so negative, but I thought this story would be good and it wasn't. I don't know, I can be negative sometimes. But, I admire your courage for posting it.
WriterJC chapter 1 . 3/25/2013
Lol! Loved it - this explains everything! And in the sequel, (season six), cap and Roy get in on the scam!
Kelmin chapter 1 . 1/30/2013
Hey, it's just the author here. I would like to request that reviews that are posted henceforth be REVIEWS, not comments on other reviews. Commentary on other reviews doesn't help me write a better story. it's fine if you say you like the story. It's fine if you say you don't like the story. But I'm also the kind of author that likes constructive criticism. Neither liking the story nor disliking the story helps me write a better story, but I don't mind if you use a review to express your opinion rather than giving constructive feedback.

However, commenting on other reviews is HARMFUL in helping ALL authors write a better story, because it discourages people from posting actual constructive criticism, which is woefully rare in this fandom.

For my part, you're welcome to write me (or even better, the reviewer) a PM if you would like to comment on a review. Of course, if the reviewer doesn't have an account, or doesn't accept PMs, then you're not welcome to do that, because the commenter doesn't wish to receive responses to his/her comment. But "comment wars" in place of actual reviews discourage the creative process, which is what I'm here for.
anon chapter 1 . 1/30/2013
What I find amazing is that regardless whether or not you like this story...apparently one can only post a review if they are willing to praise a story to the hilt...heaven forbid someone not like it. Everyone is entitled to their opinion... even if it differs from yours. But this site is famous for only wanting glowing reviews...otherwise you are attacked for not going with the flow...I thought everyone was allowed to have their own opinion. Some folks better look up the meaning of review. If you cannnot take ALL reviews then you should not come to the review section.
Perfect Madness chapter 1 . 1/29/2013
Heeheehee! This totally made me chuckle; thanks for the fresh and funny look at our heroes. (And for the record, I did look extra hard for something that would seem racist to me, but I came up empty.)
Bamboozlepig chapter 1 . 1/28/2013
I'll add my voice to Enfleurage's and Donna's. What makes this a riotous read is that it IS the exact opposite of what we expect Johnny or Dr. Brackett to act. I love Kelmin's humor in this, it shines so well and any writer will tell you that humor, especially parody or spoofs, are the hardest to pull off. You have to balance what readers know of a character with what outlandish bits you want to add, and Kel does it perfectly. And why can't a writer have fun taking their favorite characters to an extreme? I don't see anyone complaining when a writer turns Chet or Roy or Brice into the evil villain in a drama fic, so what's wrong with having some fun with Johnny's sainted image in a story that is supposed to be a parody of him? As Donna and Enfleurage pointed out, he definitely was not perfect in the show and there are honestly episodes where I'm surprised Roy doesn't boot him out of the squad mid-journey, he's THAT irritating.

And besides, how many times in real life have we witnessed "fine, upstanding citizens" fall from grace because they've been behind some pretty sordid schemes or crimes? I've seen doctors in our area lose their licenses for everything from having sex with a patient to overprescribing medications that have led to someone's death, or else they've committed insurance fraud. I've also seen cops and firefighters get fired for things like theft and sexual assault, or even driving drunk, like in the case of a local off-duty officer who took his K-9 unit (dog and vehicle both) to a bar, hoping he'd impress some chicks. ("Hey baby, wanna see my drug dog? He's big and hairy and he comes on command, just like me.") He caused a disturbance, other cops got called, and he's now out a job. Those that are appointed to protect us and save us are just as flawed-human as the rest of us.
NineMilesNorth chapter 1 . 1/28/2013
Okay, time for me to weigh in on the side of "this was a great read". Now, I am a huge John Gage fan, and am probably guilty of cannonizing all of my characters to some extent, but I truly enjoyed this as the parody it was labeled as. Heck, it even carried a "silliness" warning. 'Seems pretty clear to me that Kelmin meant it to be enjoyed as such. I thought it was cleverly done.

And at a risk of seeming clueless, I've got to ask: How did the subject of racism ever come up? I am hoping 'Anon' was just using it as an extreme example of what she does not consider funny, because otherwise, I am not getting that reference.

Anyway, good job, Kelmin.
Enfleurage chapter 1 . 1/28/2013
Kudos to Donna for her recent review, and to Kel for a nice bit of writing.

This is a well-written, lighthearted tongue-in-cheek view of Johnny's frequent injuries in a new light. It wouldn't be funny if it had been written about characters that might seem likely to engage in a bit of a 'no one gets hurts' shady sideline to line their own pockets. That it's the conscientious paramedic/star of the show and the highly ethical head of the Emergency Room is what makes it funny.

And considering how Johnny was always hustling to get a side business going, I honestly find this less of a stretch characterization-wise than the plethora of St. Johnny the invincible, self-sacrificing and put-upon caricature found in so many fanfic stories. Johnny Gage is a great character because he's flawed and impulsive as well as caring and dedicated. It's the dimensions and layers that makes him sparkle. Without edges, he wouldn't shine nearly as brightly.
Donna chapter 1 . 1/28/2013
It's really sad that some people can't exercise their imaginations and see this story for the hilarious spoof it is. I admit I get tired of the Johnny-centric stories where he's the pinnacle of perfection, very saintly and noble and self-sacrificing, when on the show he could be very annoying and abrasive. So wouldn't those stories that show him as the perfect man also be considered OOC? My hat is off to you that you decided to color outside the lines and give us a Johnny that is the anti-Johnny. There is nothing racist or offensive in that at all, it's merely the author exercising their own imagination and having a little fun with a character that is often so sickeningly over-written in fanfic that it sometimes feels like people forget the other characters existed. If someone can't see the humor in this, that is then their problem, not the author's. The story is appropriately labelled and warned in the summary and if one finds such a piece offensive to their sensibilities, then all one has to do is hit the back arrow. In addition, if someone is upset over how a writer is creating the characters, they always have the option of writing their own stories that allows them to control the content and portrayals. I happened to love this story myself, I laughed so hard while reading it I had tears rolling down my face. Even my husband, who rarely reads any kind of fanfic, thought this was a funny piece, and trust me, he's pretty picky about what he reads.
Bamboozlepig chapter 1 . 1/28/2013
You mean to tell me that people didn't understand this was a HUMOROUS story? I honestly thought it was a riot to read, it's like the exact opposite of the usual portrayal of a "perfect" Johnny that can be found in spades in fanfic. And I LOVE it. It's outrageously funny to think that Brackett and Gage have a bit of a side job going that dabbles in the illegal and hey, am I crazy for thinking it might actually be remotely plausible? After all, Johnny was pretty good at hatching some pretty nefarious schemes when he wanted. ;)
ANON chapter 1 . 1/28/2013
Just calling something humor...doesn't make it so...some people consider racist jokes humorous...I do not.
TheOtherLopez chapter 1 . 1/28/2013
After reading this story, I needed a mop up the tears of laughter! Kelmin, you are SO bad! Love it!
sandybeliever chapter 1 . 1/28/2013
Nope, I don't like it at all - our Johnny would never do this. And Dr. Brackett? Nuh-uh. Well written, though. :)
The Delirium Threemen chapter 1 . 1/27/2013
Sounds pretty plausible to me LOL. AND who would suspect Johnny of doing anything illegal...

Cute and humorously done. BRAVO

Lady Ampersand chapter 1 . 1/27/2013
This story is greaaaat! You truly have a superior writing skill! Keep up the good work. Love "reading" ya
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