Reviews for Mass Effect: The First War
Difdi chapter 22 . 4/26
You have a few errors throughout this story. The three most common are a very minor technical error, a spelling error and an error of word choice (to sortof quote The Princess Bride, that word does not mean what you think it means).

The spelling error is a redundancy. You kept writing 'EMP Pulse'. But EMP is an acronym that stands for Electro-Magnetic Pulse. EMP Pulse would literally be saying Electro-Magnetic Pulse Pulse which is silly. It would be like saying ATM Machine.

The technical error has to do with railguns versus kinetic barriers. Sure, the first time a low speed projectile encountered a Council kinetic barrier, the barrier would fail due to the projectile being too slow to be recognized as a threat. But the thing is, that shouldn't have been an issue for very long, especially once the Salarians found out about it. All it would take to make kinetic barriers fully effective against human railguns would be a software patch, and not a very complex one.

That brings us to the most common error. The word decimate. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. There is a reason the word decimate looks similar to the word decimal. They both originate with the Latin word for ten. A decimal is a tenth. To decimate something is to destroy a tenth.

Anything that has been decimated is still 90 percent intact. Adding words like utterly doesn't change the meaning of decimate, much like saying something has been utterly built is not much different than simply built.

Decimation was the traditional punishment for Roman legions that retreated from battle against orders. The legion would be forced to either draw lots or simply stand up in a long row. One man in ten was selected, and the rest were ordered to beat those 10 percent to death, usually with their bare hands. If the men in the 90 percent were friends with the men in the 10 percent, too bad. Anyone who refused to participate got to join the 10 percent. If the entire legion refused, well, Rome had quite a few legions who could be brought in to put down the rebels.

Decimate does not mean destroyed or even severely damaged. If you want a word that ends in 'ate' that does mean destroyed, use annihilate instead. It actually does mean what you think decimate means.
scorpioneldar chapter 17 . 4/22
i felt imense relife when you told me what opperation whip stood for
i was horrified that even in fiction we would destory a planet for this
i thought humanity was the monster
you made me belive that
i am pleased that it was a bluff but dam what a bluff
wonder what will happen now
scorpioneldar chapter 10 . 4/22
your not the only one who thought the barriers worked that way i did too
although in all honesty the ODP's should punch through the shields as if they are not even there due to sheer speed not do to being to slow
blocking 1.4% speed of light is a lot diffrent than blocking 6.0% or more
scorpioneldar chapter 3 . 4/22
yes this chapter makes makes sense
they can comunicate and standard human ops is capture and incapacitate not kill
for several reasons
1 you cant get info out of the dead
2 if the enemy is forced to care for a wounded soldier it often takes more resources than replacing a dead one
those 2 are just the 2 off the top of my head
again this is if you have the luxury of choice
i agree with your sediment i always found the quarians to be the most human alien race at least in temperament and history
asari are close but a mono-gendered society influences social development very differently than a bi gendered society (all female as opposed to male or female)
and that does not even go into non sex based gender identities
i imagine the quarians had much of the same development due to comparable values mistake making tenacity and curiosity
and yeah any marine SHOULD be able to survive that with proper med evac
Kal Reeger specifically mentioned that marine units get special immunity boosters vacinations and are gradually exposed to higher levels of germs and bactiria under controlled settings to improve longevity if exposed to suit puncture in the field
Tali tried to argue that quarians could fight even in an infantry battle based on this
Kal Reeger then insisted that aside from the marines (and her due to her dad) basic forces do not get this treatment (limited resources) and any protracted warfare would see heavy losses to suit punctures and infection
however the best of the best would be sent down to guard an admiral making first contact
either their equivalent of delta or marines or secret service (most of our special force groups do not have VIP protection as a primary mission though all can do it these 3 are probably your best bet for that)
so yes these guys should be as good or better than Kal Reeger at surviving suit punctures and infection
Radon088 chapter 15 . 4/9
Ok I know this story is complete but I have to call bullshit on this chapter. Simply put, you amped the Prothean's ship too much. Sure it gives the Turians parity and makes the fight more dramatic but you violated your own canon. The Dread should have just been equipped with standard ME tech, really really good ME tech for sure but instead you gave it energy shields. This completely negated the whole purpose of having the ME races and Humans have a different tech base at all.
Aside from that, do you think the Turians wouldn't have reverse engineered the Dreads tech? They would have ripped it apart to get an advantage for their other ships and probably put huge effort into being able to put it back together again.

And this can be simply oversight but why didn't the humans focus fire on the other ships? Their weapons were still massively effective against them. In the microcosm of the space battle it makes sense to focus on the Dread but when you take the entire operation into account the other ships should have been swatted first. They could have been carrying anything. Nukes, troops, snacks, whatever. Last I checked it was part of an officer's training to teach them to think of the entire battle instead of just focusing on one part.
Guest chapter 13 . 3/28
I call BS on the AI's ability to estimate the Turian councillors actions with 97 percent certainty. When he could not determine the what the result of his own appearance in the council chamber would have.
Guest chapter 5 . 3/27
There is no way that any race short of one with a God level technology can within minutes send in thousands or even hundreds of ships to a different solar system with no prior notice.
Guest chapter 2 . 3/26
Immovable, impenetrable are words similar to unsinkable and we know how that story went.
Will.Always.Be.There chapter 8 . 3/25
I feel like shouting, I feel the calling to war. This is everything a war writer should strive for. Feelings.
Will.Always.Be.There chapter 7 . 3/25
I was zooming through the chapters, and stopped here to give myself time to recuperate and fill and empty my respective faculties. I am also taking this chance of rest to say that this is epic. This story is epic. There is only war.
The Void Sage chapter 22 . 3/21
One Word: Awsome, and just for a moment i thought you were going to make a Halo reference with the talk about seven foot augmented elite soldiers raised from kidnapped orphans, based on the idea of Spartan warfare, in particular one by the name of John.
Neo-Devil chapter 19 . 3/6
We need Spartan John 117 on the toll, maybe even make Shepard BECOME the Master Chief!
Neo-Devil chapter 9 . 3/6
we are humanity, our history, is filled with blood and war, the other races of the galaxy, do not have such a grand history, we may not like to admit it, but, as every species has a specialty, ours, is unfortunately, War itself. Turians have military, Asari have diplomacy, Salarians have science, we however, are the masters of war, we. are. the gods. of war!
Demonslayer572 chapter 17 . 3/3
... i think Operation WHIP is one of my most favorite things reading about on my entire time being a reader on . you, sir/lady author, are incredible.
Darth Biomech chapter 10 . 3/2
I have to stop reading here. I do not understand why people so much love making humans complete and utterly bastards with no moral code whatsoever. "You mishoot and accidentally nuked our city? Well then we will destroy BILLIONS of innocent lifes AND two entire planets, that's would be a just retribution. Yay humanity, let's prove everyone that we ARE savage maniacs!"
1,607 | Page 1 2 3 4 11 .. Last Next »