|Reviews for Mass Effect: The First War|
| Guest chapter 20 . 11/12/2017
Just wanted to say this is the second time I read the story that’s how good it is
| Pteaset chapter 1 . 11/10/2017
| Just a Crazy-Man chapter 7 . 9/23/2017
| The Third Biker Scholar chapter 18 . 9/3/2017
can't wait to read the rest!
| DarkMastermind317 chapter 21 . 8/11/2017
I made it halfway and just had to stop. After reading the first 10 chapters I am convinced that you A) do not understand how to tell a story, at least not very well B) Have a very poor understanding of science, politics, warfare, and basic grammar and C) That the "Orbital Death Dealers" or whatever you called them are ripped off the ODST's from Halo...poorly. Don't lie.
I really wanted to like this story, I like the premise, I like the concept but you're execution is just awful. You can't convince me that humanity will just accept an alien species in as short a time span as you depicted and then defend them to the death. The first few chapters detailing first contact and the forming of the alliance would honestly have worked much better as a stand-alone story as the first in the series.
Which brings me to my other huge complaint with this. Character development, or in this case, lack thereof. I find your characters to be boring, generic and unrealistic unbelievable cutouts. There is no development of them and it hurts the story and makes it less interesting.
I highly suggest you get a good beta or proof reader, and do some quick browsing on google and research your story better.
| Guest chapter 7 . 7/29/2017
Reading this chapter has me quietly blinking.
You have TITANs, but they're more like the Titans from Titanfall than my TITANs(supersoldiers of an entirely original universe I've been working on for ages now).
This is funny.
Not sure why.
Love the story, though. Very nicely written and I very much like it.
| Arekanderu chapter 6 . 7/18/2017
Really? Japan joining forces with China? I can see Russia doing this thpe of move but Japan?
| Aramus13 chapter 5 . 7/6/2017
... Curse those Batarians and Turians...
| Aramus13 chapter 4 . 7/6/2017
Allies and neighbors! And now come problems and death...
| Aramus13 chapter 3 . 7/5/2017
That could've gone way bad, glad to see humanity stayed it's hand.
| Aramus13 chapter 2 . 7/5/2017
Love the scientific approach!
Hoho, enter the A.I...
| Aramus13 chapter 1 . 7/5/2017
Love these humanity, love the Quarian. Let this adventure started!
| eliseo200 chapter 3 . 6/16/2017
"I have been listening to the entire exchange between you and Director Locke, and I believe your goals to be genuine." what is he talking about? what conversation? what goals? there were exactly 45 words exchanged between the quarians and the humans before they started shooting at each other...
| DanielHimura chapter 21 . 6/8/2017
I am going to stop reading here. I like the story so far, but the creation of the Spartans i did not like. Mcgraw is too dangerous to be in charge of anything in my opinion.
| DBNY94 chapter 1 . 5/25/2017
A space worthy aircraft...you mean a spacecraft right? Damn, thats gonna set the tone in terms of writing skill isn't it?