Reviews for Mass Effect: The First War
Skisin chapter 1 . 2/11/2013
I honestly find your story to be a very good and well written story. I've always thought about writing a story like this and I'm glad to see someone with actual talent at writing decided to write one. I enjoy reading your story and look forward to reading more of your work.
The Eternal Winter chapter 4 . 2/11/2013
Wonderful chapter. I hope to see the Turians be humbled, in the ME games they always seemed a bit overconfident. Also I wonder if the alliance will be doing the same for the Krogan.

I would also like to point out that with the Quarians in their alliance the alliance is actually a Alliance. usually in games a alliance is a group of different species.
Jouaint chapter 4 . 2/10/2013
Great chapter. please update soon.
Abaddon953 chapter 4 . 2/10/2013

My suspension of disbelief has been severely stretched by this chapter. First off, the decison to allow the Quarians to migrate to Eden was immensely fast. Something of that magnitude, and the various little details such as the exchange of tech, how laws will work, etc. would take months, if not years to fully outline and bring into effect. The fact that it looks like it took five minutes is quite simply, moronic. Secondly, the Humans literally just took the Quarians at face value (well, faceplate value) and took no measures to ensure they weren't lying though their faceplates. This after Humanity built an entire navy just becuase of the mere infinitismal chance of an alien invasion. Uh huh. Thirdly, Chris McGraw. It is rather unclear what a SCIENTIST is doing acting as an ambassador, or whatever the hell he's doing. His presence is completely unnecessary. Just because he's a genius doesn't mean he needs to meet visiting xenos dignitaries unless there is a really clear and important reason for him to do so. And so far, unless I missed it in this chapter, there is literally no reason for him to be there, even if his father is the head or whatever of the AATF. Please rectify these, or at least explain any reasoning behind these points I have criticized.

dankanta chapter 4 . 2/10/2013
Loving it so far :D
Juyng chapter 4 . 2/10/2013
Tuning Metals:

During May of 2296*, an idea was presented to the Aliance Advancement Task Force.

the year isn't 2201?
J.E.P 1996 chapter 4 . 2/10/2013
So the new Alliance won't have any time to benefit before war erupts all around them?

And these ODPs so alot like Halo ODPs, and if they are please make sure that you write it in saying these ODPs had CIWS
RamenKnight chapter 4 . 2/10/2013
Well, its about to hit the fan. Wonder if all those gun can blow up the turning fork. If so, those Turian forces are going to have a bad day. That is, if they even find them, as the relay is now off. Think on that, your going to have to explain that. As i seriously doubt that alliance would 'accidentally' leave it on. And it seems like all Quarians ships are now in system. And it should a day, if not weeks, to get that fleet he is talking about together. Space is massive.

Thankyou for not making the Turians warmongers. You gave some logic behind their reasoning that seems to have some sense, even if the reason for the situation at all is plain immoral, idiotic and foolish. At lest in this verse. My understanding as to why they had never colonized before is because they couldn't deal with colonizing a world that wasn't like there home world, and that's why they where so desperate to get it. Not that they where banned from having a home. Could be wrong though.

Thanks for the update.
Brother Sergeant Aeron chapter 4 . 2/10/2013
Yeeeah. I won't be reading much more of this.

Fuck Quarians, you where far to nice to them.

We would not allow aliens ( who attacked us in first contact ) free range on Eden, simply because they are unlucky. Honestly, we wouldint give a shit. Man is greedy, lazy, but most of all - ambitious. They would be using them, not helpig them.

For fucks sake, the quarians are BIGOTS. They hate on everything related to AI ( and they where raised this way for generations, they arent just gonna stop hating) and mankind RELIES on AI, that won't turn out well.

You took the turn many people do, making Quarians and Humans buddies. Mankind fears the unknown, not only that, but culturally? So fucking different, its not even funny.

- Midnight phone rant over.
RamenKnight chapter 3 . 2/9/2013
Well this was fun.
RamenKnight chapter 2 . 2/9/2013
And problem. Big problem. Like massive problem. Lets see, lets get the most possible anti-AI race out there to meet up with almost he most possibly pro-AI race out there and NOT watch them kill each other. Riiiiight... going to take at long time(generations, and even then, i doubt everyone will not be...AI-ist?) before peaceful life. Something so ingrained takes a while to change in a culture. The rebellious part of their society will probably be the first to accept, even if it starts purely from spite for authority.
Axcel chapter 3 . 2/9/2013
I look forward to the next chapter :D
Axcel chapter 2 . 2/9/2013
Considering Sovereign, a 2 kilometer ship, was said to be about twice as long as the Destiny Ascension...a 3.5km long ship would be (to the Quarians) more than a third longer than the Destiny Ascension.
Axcel chapter 1 . 2/9/2013
Humanity kicks ass again! AVE IMPERATOR! ...wait..wrong fact...whatever vive humanitas! (and The Emperor).
alichi chapter 3 . 2/7/2013
Interesting. I like the cautious approach your Humanity has.

Mass colonizing through the Relays always seemed like the most stupid thing to go about expanding a nation in space. Seriously, unknown tech that you cannot replicate being the main and critical points keeping your territory together? Lightyears of space between Relays ignored?
We have 1400 solarsystems within a radi of 50 lightyears around us, 1400 solarsystems! Better check them out before we go building colonies 300 lightyears away through some relics that haven't had maintenance done to them in eons...

Thankfully this fic avoided that. Looking forward to when they will dismantle a Relay and what will come out of it.
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