Reviews for Mass Effect: The First War |
---|
![]() ![]() ""This is an outrage!" Sparatus didn't skip a beat, "You refuse to give us your..." This whole paragraph, and everything surrounding it is just so stupid, no actual person would act like that, it reads as heavyhanded bashing since you write them as being outright retarded for them to make those demands. Please fix it, it just comes across as painfully juvenile. |
![]() ![]() A number of times in this story you wrote the contraction it's when you meant the possessive pronoun its Please fix it, or get a proofreader who can. |
![]() ![]() ![]() John Doe: a fictitious name used in legal proceedings for a male party whose true name is not known. basically a name for any male who refuse to be named or is unidentified. |
![]() ![]() ![]() If i am correct, the Systems Alliance Navy lost only a single battle and it was over Roof, but the battle for Earth? They were fighting like a champ! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Going by how the Roof defense fleet, consisting of 100 ships, destroyed 200 hostiles... I'm pretty sure the Summer fleet will be capable in fending off invaders but will take heavy losses. |
![]() ![]() ![]() The way the Warp Drive rips open portals remind me of the slipspace drives from halo. |
![]() ![]() ![]() i like to think of the AI Android appearance is like the Humanoid robot species from Stellaris and the transport looking similar to the MV22 Osprey. |
![]() ![]() Полнейшая ахинея. Автор сделал ошибку, начав отсчет количества кораблей от флота кварианцев. У турианцев было 30-40 дредноутов, и по 15-20 крейсеров на каждый дредноут (до 800 крейсеров). Откуда 37.000 кораблей? Что за наркомания? И откуда такой большой флот у людей? При условии, что население ., а кораблей 25.000, на каждый корабль приходилось примерно 150.000 человек. Это как?! Ты можешь представить затраты даже не на постройку, а на обслуживание этой армады? Человечество бы раззорилось сразу же. Честно, увидев такие числа, я окончательно понял, что это полная чушь. А Крис был срисован с Железного человека. Зачем? Этот герой не нужен, он жалок, и это очень большой рояль. Очень наивно описана политика, Спаратус выставлен безумным идиотом (а политик его уровня не может быть идиотом, или идиотом настолько, и это сильно притянуть за уши). Отношения между человечеством и космическими бродягами описаны на уровне детского сада., и вечь текст на уровне фанфика о Гарри Поттере, где сироту все обижают просто чтобы обидеть, а он потом всем страшно мстит, и все очень неправдоподобно. This text is very bad, I haven't read such nonsense for a long time, sorry for my english |
![]() ![]() ![]() Is Nikola compromised? |
![]() ![]() ![]() "Human Language is English." Said Locke. Meanwhile, all of the non-Anglosphere countries: "Am I a joke to you?" |
![]() ![]() You are a terrible writer I tried to finish but this as far as i can get |
![]() ![]() ![]() I try and read this fic every few years and this right here is what always kills my interest. The dam Turian councilor wouldn't be in that fucking room. The other two wouldn't have fucking stood for it. After all his fuck ups his second would be taking his place for now. You have IN THIS FUCKING FIC a first contact situation that goes tits up and shots are fired over this fucking issue. Seriously I think you a great writer and all that junk but keeping the war going for no reason always kiss my interest. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Titans and zoids woot woot |
![]() ![]() ![]() To bad they forgot how to turn the relays off. |
![]() ![]() Well that's my limit, got a little to stupid/crack for my taste. |