Reviews for Romance Novel
crazyfan15 chapter 1 . 5/4/2013
wow... keiko is... really something! :)
serenityselena chapter 1 . 4/25/2013
interesting story...
it seemed they got that they wanted *smirk*
FillyDashie chapter 1 . 3/2/2013
"You are a horny teen perv, but other than that, you wish that you could make a girl scream like that, but are mad that you can't."...lololololololollolololololol ol... :drops to the floor has laughing seizure:

"If you know what I want then why don't you make me scream your name while I get pounded into the mattress?"... that was a gay thing to say

"Shut up," he said back. "You'll thank me when you're not torn in half."
"There isn't enough there to worry about, just do it!" ... back to having a siezure

better then i thought it would be but was really short
arinhel.melleide chapter 1 . 2/28/2013
For a first time, and for Yusuke and Keiko's first time, it was just right.
Zimmie chapter 1 . 1/30/2013
This was awesome and you should totally do another one! I think you totally captured Keiko's and Yusuke's real personalities, along with their interactions with eachother. YOU ROCK!
Crazy anime chick since 1993 chapter 1 . 1/29/2013
I gotta say this is officially one of my favorites. Not only did it make my belly flop like really great ones, it also kept with the characters and it made me laugh. Funny thing Is is that I can totally see Keiko challenging him in that way.
TheAbsolutistsCreed chapter 1 . 1/28/2013
No comment.

I cannot write them, I am too much of a pervert (rendering a terrible bias on my part), and there are more personal reasons for it. I usually go with the behind the curtain approach or other ways that don't directly spotlight it. I know enough to say in it's true form what it can mean, but I could never express how it feels during the act and everything that's going on.

At this stage it's more of an Omake than anything else. Those that would describe it best are those who have true love as much of a cliche as that is to some people.

On a story point of view, they should be showed if only to show a certain aspect of the character that isn't normally shown, or something to do with the plot. They aren't used a lot in stories because people don't have the personal connection to see it as a beautiful act. There's a lot more at work than just hiding the sausage. If a party doesn't love each other it will affect their thinking. I consider love to be the complete removal of fear to someone or something. If there's fear before said act then it will explode unless it's talked about.

There's a lot more too it, but I think you have a basic idea now... if not PM me :)
Erika Hearken chapter 1 . 1/28/2013
Wow. For being your first sex scene, it was rather believable. You described certain details so well that it seemed realistic. I think you'll do just fine from here on out writing sex.
Loona Rosamunde chapter 1 . 1/28/2013
First of all, women's romance novels are nothing but smut. Other than a few grammar errors it was rather good, thought as Keiko said didn't quite live up to expectations. I think this actually might be the best thing you've ever written.