Reviews for Naruto: The Demon
Lord Asmodeus chapter 1 . 8/12/2014
...This is illogical. What about the balance? Without a Jinchuriki Konoha would be weak. 'Aunt' Tsunade betrayed him, she is the Hokage, so why isn't he upset or feeling no anger towards her or the rest of the leaf for simply getting rid of him?

Shouldn't he be happy he isn't in Konoha? And now wouldn't Kumo be the most powerful village? 3 Jinchuriki tips the scales too much.
narutoDkurosaki chapter 4 . 2/14/2014
Hmmmm...this is a very interesting plotline I want to see how this goes and what will happen to kumo
angel11xpr chapter 1 . 1/30/2014
I Wish you a very unhappy life, and a fate as bad as this stupid plot. I cant believe I wasted time on this shit and I pity those who lasted longer. You should delete this garbage from the face of the earth. I am completely amazed how you spent time writing like two paragraphs of his "badassness" and the completely through your story to the trashcan.

I hope you commit suicide.
Avi chapter 4 . 1/22/2014
Me gusta
carverharver chapter 4 . 11/6/2013
kickass story hope to see more
Guest chapter 4 . 10/24/2013
yo this is a gd story keep it up
GreenGrizzly chapter 4 . 10/9/2013
We get it; you want Naruto to come across as a badass. Success… sort of, overall he comes across as just an ass that readers can’t connect with. This was way too fast paced and shoddy writing overall. I’d get a beta. You end a sentence when you should be using commas to continue on. That ‘plot twist’ seemed half hazard though I grant you it provided some plausibility for things. The short chapters are simply annoying. Where’s the 3rd Hokage? I get that Naruto is older than the main kids in canon, but did everything change? The writing isn’t horrendous or anything and you certainly have an interesting idea, it just needs a fair bit of work to be worth a damn. 3/10 as is (I’m feeling generous)
Lord Sannin chapter 4 . 10/7/2013
I'm kinda hoping that Naruto betrays the leaf in this story, I'm just a big fan of the cloud village
ManlyMonk chapter 4 . 9/15/2013
Hmm, for some reason, I just want you to go the "maybe later" route in which something delays his plans and the wedding happens. Then eventually instead of going to "war", something good will come of this alliance and maybe a baby or two :D.
DragonBolt21 chapter 4 . 9/1/2013
So far So good. I like the twist, I know this is a dark naruto story, but I hope i see some light in it hopefully
Agrithnum1 chapter 4 . 8/13/2013
I like how the story is going, but first of all, even if Naruto is called the Demon in this fanfic, I would like to point out why did he take in the girl and adopt her, and yet be a heartless bastard towards Mabui? It just confuses me if anything, even if Yugito is a Jinchuriki of the Nibi. From my point of view, I think and suggest you should make Naruto a little bit kinder inside the story. I am not flaming or taking offense to your works, if anything at all you're an excellent writer.

- Agrithnum
angel11xpr chapter 4 . 8/7/2013
Wow.. Way to make naruto look like a stupid lapdog, its insulting how you think an uzumaki is one to be bossed around and made to do the "council's" bidding. Youre story would only be worse if you actuqlly have him go through with even half of what you have presented. The strongest, the "demon" tied down and blindfolded like a common rebellious pet. The plot has no realism and is kind of forced at the sacrifice of logic.
Qzh chapter 4 . 8/4/2013
I would find it really stupid if he goes through with the plan seeing as he doesnt like anyone but Tsunade and Jiraiya from Konoha so why would he accept? Also is Tsunade in on the plan or not?
With what Naruto said at the end about them not taking him back even after he goes along with the plan i hope to see him work things out with Mabui and abandon the plan.
Good chapter, looking forward to the next update.
RandomWriter21 chapter 4 . 7/22/2013
Hmmm so far so good. I will follow this story to see where it will go but I hope Naruto decides to go AWAL and burn Konoha to the ground; seriously, if he can beat A then what's stopping him from doing so?
JJP123 chapter 4 . 7/1/2013
i hope mabui gets naruto to open up soon a starts to make him actually happy
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