|Reviews for The Parson's Son|
| NightmarePrince chapter 1 . 12/12/2014
Just a quick disclaimer, I am 95% fandom blind having only watched the first few episodes of season one.
Firstly, I would like to commend you on being able to fictionalize a true story into your fandom. I’ve seen it attempted many times but rarely have I seen it done so well. Kudos Mate.
[Have the most careful sex imaginable] I laughed out loud at this sentence. The manner in which it is placed just serves to increase the humour, especially seeing as he has a slew of normal restrictions preceding it. Easily one of the best lines I’ve read in a story.
I really liked the part about him typing out his thoughts, it created a sense of emotional depth to him as a character, especially the segment in which he never saves the documents afterwards. On the other hand, [But aside from the occasional . . . necromanced back to life] seemed a little confusing to me. Perhaps you could consider revising it? That being said, the description necromanced instead of reactivated was an incredibly good move on your part.
The message exchange between Sherlock and Lestrade was especially humorous. I like the way you built up the tension and then dissolved it with that little anecdote, it prevented the situation about those poor ponies from becoming too much for the reader. [Learn how to use a comma correctly] That line deserves an award, especially when placed in terms of the fanfiction community.
What is with these two and destroying technology. Sherlock breaks his phone and John nearly breaks his laptop. Anger management, boys. Anger management.
The hook that you’ve ended the chapter is quite a good one, we see that Sherlock was lying to John for his own good and also is meeting with this Mrs. Edalji. Very intriguing.
Looking forward to reading more when time permits.
| The Jollyginger chapter 5 . 12/5/2014
Aw. No incredible shattering of church decorum? I'm almost disappointed. XD.
I liked your characterization of the Parson and how he breaks down Sherlock by touch.
You introduce a lot of characters but none are really utilized except for Edalji. If there;s a significant time gap between chapters, I might not remember who they all are, or what they're importance is. When a character is introduced, it's best if we see them doing something or saying something, so that we can remember who they are later on in the story. Otherwise they're just names.
Liked the blindness test. I can tell you put a lot of thought into Sherlock's deductions, and that pays off. They're logical, but still amazingly intricate, as we've come to know from the show.
In addition, Lestrade and Sherlock are well balanced. Neither of them is doing too much or too little. Lestrade isn't the Boy Robin to Sherlock's Batman. It's not focusing too much on Lestrade, either. The two are equally interesting characters, and are a delight to read.
Eager to see what happens next.
| The Jollyginger chapter 4 . 12/5/2014
Excellent ending line; Can't wait to see what Sherlock's like in church.
Liking Lestrade more and more-you've done an excellent job of capturing his character from the show, but expanding on it.
Also, the plot thickens! Intrigued by the case, and eager to see where everything goes.
Complaints (Honestly, you keep doing the same things right, and it's easier for me if I just point out what you do WRONG):
While the flowers, and the scene after it-gotta admit I cracked up at the idea of molly and John having sex in the morgue-were sweet and entertaining, it felt like it came too quickly. Last chapter, we learned they had marital problems, and that John's becoming estranged from Molly. Suddenly, everything's fixed overnight. It feels like there was never a real problem or any real tension, because the resolution comes before any tension can build.
That can make things a little too light, make me think I'm just here for the characters rather than actually seeing them struggle in a conflict. Just something to keep in mind when you write conflicts like this in the future.
Overall: entertaining. I'm annoyed i have to stop and review the end of each one so I can't just keep reading.
| The Jollyginger chapter 3 . 12/5/2014
Maybe I'm biased because I launched straight into this chapter from the last without a break, but i think it's a bit weird to go from Lestrade talking about his marital problems to Melissa providing her perspective in the first scene of the next chapter. Maybe space those out a bit.
Superb reference to the Empty House, by the way, with that dummy. Assuming that's what it was. Also, recognizing this was released before the third season, I have to admire your decision not to discuss how Sherlock survived, leaving it at "his return". That' was clever, and it lets the fic make sense even after the third chapter's been released.
Love love LOVED mrs. Hudson having a crush on Lestrade, and just her characterization in general. Props.
Liked the way Sherlock analyzed Lestrades use of the word "we." Also, you bringing in the Fall case.
A minor complaint: You explain the Jessop case out of dialogue, then name it again immediately after IN DIALOGUE. You could just alter that paragraph so it's wholly mentioned in dialogue and yet still clear.
Like I mentioned in my first review, not generally a Jolly guy (LOL. Just realized that's funny because my username is...nevermind) but that last scene sold it pretty well. I can buy that they have a relationship. I do think it's a bit odd that John's trying to be quite so forgiving of Molly's lie, and not furious as opposed to mopey (though maybe you're trying to highlight that he's got his priorities kind of skewed and isn't expressing himself).
All in all, good chapter. Will read on.
| The Jollyginger chapter 2 . 12/5/2014
I liked the tension between Sherlock and Caroline, it was very in the spirit of the show and the banter felt copy-and-pasted from an episode transcript as well. I also thought it was cool that Sherlock hears John whenever he does anything wrong. Hell, even the actual SHOW did that, except after this fanfic was published, so really, Moffat and Gatiss were ripping you off.
Sherlock's characterization is spot on the whole way through, by the way. Just dark enough, while still being likable. The deduction are all perfectly in style, all feel legit.
First of all, what's RP? As in, "tyneside accemt corrected into RP"? Is this a common term I don't know about? Probably best to clarify.
A bigger gripe of mine is thatSherlock doesn't seem to get much from his interviewing Caroline. So there have been letters. So? He doesn't ask to see them, or even ask for specifics. He's very accepting that there are in fact letters, but that the contents don't matter. Which is unusual for any investigator, but all the more so for Sherlock, given that we've seen him deduct through handwriting before. Maybe that comes later?
Also, I woud avoid using the term Parthian Shaft. Not only may some readers blink and not understand it, even if you're familiar with the term, it kind of underscores the scene. Like, ha ha! Look how clever that closing remark was! In case you missed it, Sherlock was being clever! By trying to emphasize it, you cheapened the overall effect of the scene.
Eager to see what comes next.
| The Jollyginger chapter 1 . 12/4/2014
I think my favorite bit of this might've been "No, I don't work for good, either." I could just about hear Cumberbatch saying that.
Not sure if that bullet John took happened in an earlier fic or if it's a plot point of the one primarily, but it's does build intrigue and make me want to read on.
Those texts are done perfectly, and the lack of physical description in between made the hints the texts gave you as to what was happening all the better. Also, it felt like something from the show, and it just altogether worked perfectly.
Never bought into Jolly pairing, but as I haven't seen any of their relationship in-story I can't truly complain about it. Besides, I think that you're able to pull it off convincingly.
Love the feel of the story so far-feels like the first two minutes of a sherlock episode- and I can't wait to read more.
One nitpick: That last sentence, "in a non-boring fashion." Probably should have been, "And don''t be boring." In the manner of the show, and all.
See, when you get me to make complaints that minor, then you know you've done a good job.
On the whole? Hugely enjoyable, totally going to read on. Thanks for writing!
| Nothing Really Specific chapter 1 . 11/26/2014
First impressions are important and you have made a beautiful first impression.
The description was beautiful, particularly the way you described the shadows in the hallway at the beginning. It was simple and that was all that was needed.
Can I just say thank you for making characters human? It has been a long time since I have read something that has made characters human- relatable and utterly charming. What I enjoyed the most about this first chapter was that you didn't try too hard. John is relatable and sad and Sherlock is...well, Sherlock. You really feel for these characters and to see that emotion, that hardcore, down to earth emotion was very refreshing to me.
The humor was great. I found the text messages to be very well done and it was perhaps my favorite part of the chapter. It's just so in character and I can just picture in my head Sherlock just rolling his eyes.
What I found interesting was that you based this on a real case. That's something that most people don't really do anymore, and being someone who adores historical based pieces, it is extremely nice to see that.
As far as constructive criticism goes, there were no punctuation or grammatical errors that I could see. The English language is obviously your strong suit. You have mastery of character development and description.
However, I would like to suggest one minor aspect that may or may not be needed, but will be helpful for you to think about. It involves description of character action. Describe what the character is doing. For example, when John is texting Sherlock back, mention the way his fingers move, the way his face looks, perhaps even go into his head and do an inner monologue. These details will help make the character development deeper, will give you more word count, and will give you fine details. Fine details is something that most people do not necessarily do and even though most of the time, simple words and phrases such as "said" and "rolled his eyes" will do justice, it would be very interesting to see more than just a simple word. Although, I would also like to remind you of the phrase "less is more".
Again, most of the time, this isn't necessary, but it is just something to think about.
Overall, this story was great and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Look forward to more.
All the best in everything,
Nothing Really Specific
| Manga-lunatic chapter 2 . 11/25/2014
I love the way you write Sherlock! His conversation with Mrs. Edalji was spot on, and like how he just mentions the letters without going into how he knew about them in the first place. I also like how he smiles because he's interested, and how Mrs. Edalji took it to mean something else.
I really like the way you write the interactions between Holmes and DI Lestrade. The good detective is severely underutilized in the BBC series, and I like how you flesh out his character while keeping him true to form. The Angry Birds bit made me laugh, by the way, as did Sherlocks calling it idiotic.
The parting words of Sherlock is so like him, always wanting the last say or trying to one up anyone who displeases him in anyway. It was information that, if given in a nicer way, I believe would have given Lestrade some piece of mind. Instead, he probably doubled the amount of stress he was feeling.
This was a great chapter, very well done with nary a grammar mistake. Your writing flows so nicely, I'm jealous!
| Levhitor chapter 1 . 11/23/2014
Awesome Opening, love the humor. Also quite a nice touch with the electronic conversations.
This is very interesting, until know I hadn't found any good Sherlock fanfics that I liked, But you just got yourself a reader. Sherlock characterization is spot on and perfect, damn glorious bastard. You also portrayed Watson quite well.
I can't say a lot about just the first chapter, but I will keep reading
| Manga-lunatic chapter 1 . 11/23/2014
Firstly, let me just say I'm coming in blind to your universe, but I have seen the Sherlock series so I'm familiar with the characters, and you have them down to a peach! (I don't even know if this is a real saying, but I'm trying to say, spot on!)
I really like how you get into Watson's head, and how you used a fairly mundane thing as changing a light bulb be a catalyst, if you will, for the good doctor to review the frustrations of recovery. Also, revealing that despite his wife's difficulties with pregnancy and the loving way she cared for him, he was still an ass. It really humanizes him and makes him relatable.
Another thing, 'Furtively pecked out something awkward.', such an amazing choice of words! Brilliant!
I really enjoyed the "web activity" on Sherlock's website and the texts exchanged with Watson. Sherlock's responses were in character and really funny.
I did find a slight mistake. The sentence: 'And Sherlock's website, an odd sort of no mans land between the two, and which he had necromanced back to life.', the second 'and' is not needed and really breaks the flow of the sentence. I found my self stumbling at that part, rereading it several times.
In conclusion, I thought this chapter was really, very well done! It's very polished, has almost no mistakes, and your writing style is a pleasure to read!
| Ominae chapter 1 . 11/19/2014
Reading up on the first chapter now.
I was really interested with the blog posts that you used for Sherlock and his client to communicate with one another via the internet. Makes things interesting and it does set the story from this chapter.
And now since you mentioned that the story is based on the Great Wyrley Outrages. I had to read that one on Wikipedia since I didn't hear about the case until now. I can say is that one drew my interest, being an actual event and all. I do wonder if you're going to conclude the story with a different outcome, although I haven't read it yet.
The last part where Sherlock met his client is one thing that I also liked, setting it on a sort of cliffhanger to set up for the next chapter.
The parts where Sherlock and John communicated with each other via SMS was a bit confusing to read at first, but I was able to get the hang of it. That's probably the only thing that I have to take note.
Otherwise, it's a nice chapter to set up for the next one.
| GeorgyannWayson chapter 5 . 7/8/2014
*bows in apology* I am SO SORRY it took me so long to get this review in, Eddy! FF was down for the last three hours *grumble* but I'm here now! (Just want to say I love the beginning of this so far, I decided to pick here to review because this is where I am in the story).
I love the story about Lestrade going through a graveyard at the tender impressionable age of five and how the feeling of that memory makes him a little nervous by the church. Made me smile; how many of us have memories from childhood that makes us react like that?
Oh, the fact that Sherlock is jealous about someone that can recognize a person by their hands is interesting indeed. Finally, someone pops up that has an ability that he's jealous of. Nice to be reminded that you don't have it all, huh, Sherlock? :)
[The genius who was Sherlock Holmes...] - Adore this sentence! *files away for later reference*
I think FF ate a period after the title 'Mrs Edalji'.
Oh, I love the comparison of the hen and the fox to Mrs. Edalji and Sherlock. Reminds me of a children's show that I used to watch where one of the characters was a hen and she was always scolding the other animal characters. Bring a funny image to my mind's eye.
I have a looming feeling that there is a HUGE scandal is in this family...like, huge. I'm almost nervous to find out what it is...
One thing I admire about your fics is your ability to incorporate the real world into them. Mostly, I'm talking about all five chapters that I've read here, but you do a HELL of a lot of research; no little detail escapes your eye and that is a very admirable trait. Your writing is truly a gem, Eddy.
Looking forward to seeing how this goes!
| Cansei de Ser Sexy chapter 3 . 5/10/2014
"There were some things it was easier to say in night" I just needed to start with this, because it was just a grand way to say why confessions are mostly done in nights, when the lights are off, so to speak, and it reminded me of that lyric from a song that I adored at the first time I heard it... "The nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day." It's just great example how this was played here with Molly and John as well, they trying to have a talk, but of course John had it at the wrong way. As selfish as John made it to sound like, we all know that Molly didn't mean that way, at least for self-centered way, but of course, he understood it that way. The bitterness. Though, I'm glad that they touched on the issue of her knowing about Sherlock all along, but didn't mention it to him, still. It's not something you could easily forget or forgive.
The more I read about Melisa, the more I like her. She's just a sweetheart, perhaps because I'm a bit tad bitter fir my last failure in romance department, but boy, didn't I call him b*stard as well while she talked, he he. Molly was very naive there, too, much more than I would have excepted. Surely, she might not call him with that cure, but never even thinking of it...while he was zoning her out...? Wow, that's kinda hard to believe :) or she's really a much better person than me :) it was cute though seeing her trying to have that talk with her friend. Again, very naive. But, I have to say it was again hard to believe that she could be nymphomaniac with that much naivety, but again, one could never know. And like they say, always be aware of the shy ones :)
Third finger on the left hand... I thought that should be fourth...at least, it's here like this. Fourth finger goes to ring. I am not sure if I understand Lestrade's logic here too, if he fears that she has "commitment-phobia" why she would want to marry? Is he afraid that she might get bored afterward and want a divorce? Because a true commitment-phobia might start running away like mad at the first mention of marriage, not wanting to marry instead.
As much as I was upset with him though, he was just great with Sherlock, and Mrs. Hudson. I liked the way he easily flirted with the old lady, and laughed so hard when he said he was probably the only person in the world she doesn't call as 'dear', because it's not decent for a policeman. Lol, totally in character for her, suited to her perfect decorum :)
Sherlock was...just Sherlock. That dummy part had me giggling, especially his jabs at Lestrade. As much as I miss John and Sherlock together on a case, I would like to see more of them working together as well, because it's trait reading them from your pen.
| becgate chapter 16 . 5/4/2014
Wonderful! !I loved every word! !
| hiddenhibernian chapter 16 . 4/29/2014
Plenty of unresolved issues between the principal characters, looking forward to the next instalment! I predict that Lestrade will get his head out of his arse and propose to Melissa in the next one, but other than that I'm clueless :)
Having read up on the real Edalji case, I take my hat off to you! It was an extremely creative way of retaining its key elements, while giving the characters plausible motives to do what they did. I'd love to know what really was behind the original case, but I suppose we'll never know...
I especially liked your characterisation of the Edaljis; in retrospect the way they acted makes so much sense, while I couldn't figure them out at all while reading. Such a difference a key piece of information makes... Well done, I'm very impressed by the way you unfolded the story while continuing the bigger story arc and fleshing out characters like Matthew.
The more I think about it, the more I like the final chapter; it captures the down after a case (and I know it's set quite a while after, but still), and that there still is much to be figured out for the permanent cast of characters in the aftermath of Sherlock's return.
“"I'm fine. I feel fine." - Sure you do, Sherlock...
Nitpick: "Yeah, there's been an update Edalji case." - missing 'on'?