Reviews for The Parson's Son
hiddenhibernian chapter 4 . 4/17
Ahah, I see why Hayley is confused about Lestrade suddenly laying down the law about what's to happen in his absence. The last time he went away, he wasn't aware of any handsome Yarders flirting with his daughter...

I cringed at him trying to shake Hayley's hand at one stage – how hilariously awkward!

And then he goes all affronted Victorian father before leaving – get a grip, Greg! Sheesh. That sort of thing hardly ever works anyway.

It's hard to explain exactly why, but John pushing out the boat to apologise to Molly feels so wrong. I think it's because he's taking everything upon himself – it's like it's not OK for him to be less than OK with everything that happened, even if he deep down feels betrayed by those closest to him. Molly being delightfully adventurous for a change doesn't really address the underlying issue – I do expect you to tackle that later on though, and am looking forward to seeing how things will go down...

I laughed at Sherlock 'squealing like a little girl' - it's great to get some more Lestrade/Sherlock interaction, even if it's obvious that John should really be there instead. The bit later on, as they wrap up for the day over coffee, is great too – lots of laughs, but still the niggling feeling of wrongness, that it should be John and not Lestrade sitting there observing Sherlock's lack of social decencies.

It's easy to forget with the way Sherlock treats him, but Lestrade would be a Big Cheese pretty much everywhere. This was a particularly nice touch: “but I'm d- I mean..." he glanced at Lestrade.” - He's probably heard the word before, you know...
hiddenhibernian chapter 3 . 4/17
Oh, Molly – she can keep Sherlock's survival secret and lay out dead bodies, but Melissa calling Lestrade a 'bastard' will shock her! This is great characterisation: “While she had sometimes been frustrated with John - even angry with him” - 'even' angry with him? None of them would exactly seek out conflict, but that's being conflict-shy in the extreme! I wouldn't be into arguing much myself, but I do consider it pretty essential in a relationship to be able to have a proper row, if only to make sure you know how to make up afterwards.

'I've got to consider Julie's feelings, she's the mother of my kids' – This would have made me furious in Melissa's situation – what a poor excuse! She's taking it quite well under the circumstances.

“Embarrassed silence” - This is kind of left hanging on its own, it just looks a little out of place to me. I do love Molly's embarrassed stammering afterwards, and feel a little uncomfortable at Melissa's diagnosis of her as a 'closet nymphomaniac' – talk about bringing your work home! I've noticed that she employs her professional skills in her private life quite a bit (and Lestrade in fact relied on her to do so when John had been shot), but wow, I'd hate to be assessed by her over coffee!

LOL at this: “I can see him sitting in the armchair all the way from the street”. When being subtle isn't worth the effort of getting out of your chair...

“that handsome Inspector Lestrade fellow she liked” - You and me both, dear... I love when you work her inner dialogue into the writing, like why she won't call Lestrade 'dear'.

Go Smudge! Delivering cosmic justice to consultant detectives everywhere :)

I cringed (in a good way) and smiled at the same time at Lestrade flirting with Mrs H – I can see why she likes him!

Ooh, Lestrade teaching Sherlock basic social skills – this could take a while... I like that Sherlock does seem to be more attuned to his friends since he came back, even if he isn't quite there yet (e.g. “I'd say most plausible threats to me are of average to sub-average intelligence”).

I love the sniping between Sherlock and Lestrade, “longsuffering handler” was particularly funny.

Sherlock's reaction at Lestrade's attempt to sit in John's chair is certainly revealing, as is his refusal to involve John. I hope Lestrade's barb about Sherlock being useful to John at the end hit a nerve, because otherwise I just can't see things changing at all.

Finally, the Watsons are talking about things! Dear Lord, is this the first time they've actually discussed Molly's role in Sherlock's death? I loved the contrast between them buttoning up and the couple across the street acting out, even though their issue was infinitely less serious.

There seemed to be some progress there at last, until John blew up. I do think he's being a little unfair to Molly, but then, well – there is an awful lot of things he could blame her for and doesn't, isn't there?
hiddenhibernian chapter 2 . 4/16
“plump, placid little parson's wife” - nice alliteration!

“then, seeing Sherlock's expression, put it back” - Hahaha! There is certainly more to Mrs Edalji than it seems... at least she doesn't seem to be stupid. Nor afraid to stand up to Sherlock, I see.

I love Sherlock channelling John, although I suspect it's a poor substitute for having the original there. I also suspect Sherlock being so shaken by John almost being killed is the real reason why he's taking on this case alone, but we'll see...

So now we have the facts of the case neatly laid out , along with a nice bit of characterisation of Sherlock's client. I do of course believe that this is about more than animal mutilations, as horrible as that is in itself.

"Donovan let me in" – What? We're missing out on a lot here if she's become that friendly with Sherlock! I wonder how much Greg and the rest of the Yard know about what happened between the two of them, and I hope it won't explode in anyone's face... or maybe I do :)

Lestrade being completely busted made me laugh – Angry Birds indeed!

“Since he hadn't been fired yet, he'd slowly realised that there was some reason for that, though he was still not sure what that reason was” - I think we all know that reason probably is called Mycroft Holmes...

Sherlock's complete disregard for how difficult he makes Lestrade's professional life is completely in character – but there must be something more there, since Lestrade was one of the three people Sherlock cared for the most. Would he ever give the poor man a break? I suppose he will solve his cases, so there is that, but still...

And just after I've said that, he goes and does Lestrade a good turn - in a very Sherlockian way, of course. Maybe that's what passes for affection in his world...?

So we're back to some sort of normal: Sherlock hassling Lestrade for police files, clients being taken on, everyone seems to be talking to each other again – and yet there is so much unresolved tension under the surface. Hayley seeing one of Lestrade's men might provide some comic relief – I get the feeling we might need that...
hiddenhibernian chapter 1 . 4/16
A new story, very exciting! Especially as I won't be waiting on tenterhooks for Sherlock's return this time – I'm sure you'll cook up something else instead, but at last we'll be dealing with the inevitable train wreck of his resurrection rather than anticipate it.

Oh, I love that it's based on a real case – and with Conan Doyle connections, in addition to that! Don't want to spoil the ending, so I won't look it up yet.

First of all I'd like to state how relieved I am that we finally go to John's point of view, as depressing as it may be. Is he bottling it all up this time too, as per standard Watsonian procedure after getting shot?

“he suspected that a baby quickly became heavier than a cat” - Haha, depends on the cat I suppose, but in general they do, yes...

John being a bad patient makes sense – isn't that what they say about doctors in general, and I'd imagine him in particular.

I like seeing John has some basic psychological self-preservation – but I'm not so sure I believe things are as rosy as he's making it out. And what is that reference to websites that can't be discussed in polite company? The blindingly obvious, or something else?

I love Sherlock's announcement, why bother about tedious details...?

I also love this: “No, I don't work for good, either” - Hahaha! And Lestrade weighing in and getting his fingers slapped for it is just priceless...

Yes, what is it with the signing of texts business? Your explanation (some posh notion of manners) is probably the best in-story one, but I suspect the real reason in canon is so you can tell who the texts are from on TV...

I love the interaction between John and Sherlock – true to form despite being over text and phone rather than in person. I don't believe, however, that they would slip back into the way things used to be just like that – unless John is doing some mammoth repression at the moment. Time will tell :)

“No, you're not.” - This made me laugh out loud, especially when it was followed by by Sherlock demanding a non-boring summary of events from his poor client just afterwards...
Faulty L0gic chapter 6 . 3/1
Though I did enjoy reading, I prefer when the plot moves a little faster.

[“Come on … that was twenty years ago]
Nice bit of humor in the middle of a sad scene.

[once or twice]
This seemed a bit weird; given how timid Molly usually is and how unusually adamant John was, I’d expect it to happen exactly once.

It does make sense that John would take that view (keep it a family matter with Harry), I will say.

Hmm, I really wonder what’s up with John. Well, now that I think about it, he’s angry and petulant about his own temporary uselessness. So that’s well portrayed.

Interesting that John almost never says I love you to his sister.

Why would Molly feel sick about his gun being disturbed. Is she worried about suicidal tendencies? I’d think it would be reasonable for a BORED :) individual to mess with a gun.

[Hannah didn’t know… unless he wanted something]
I think this is already clear from her actions.

[preliminary charm routine]
This was just so funny. I can see him mentally calling up Charm Routine (preliminary), as part of a vast list of Charm Routines, among other Routines, all categorized under Rarely Useful.

I see Charm Routine F was successful.

[Mel had won. Sherlock still wouldn’t admit]
HAHA. My laughter was just dying down from the above, too.

[you are a complete bastard.]
Stop, seriously, I need to breath. Nicely in character, too.

[suddenly earned Lestrade’s exasperation]
I think a stronger emotion than exasperation would be in order for Lestrade.

All right, looking forward to more.

Dominant hypothesis: estranged sister (full motive: resents her mother, possibly because of how she treats her oldest son).
Secondary: controlling sister (hypothetical motive: he defied her, possibly by refusing to marry).
Faulty L0gic chapter 5 . 3/1
Ooh, I love guessing what Sherlock is thinking. A very nice chapter.

Unless Lestrade’s unease in churchyards will come back later in the story, I’d omit the anecdote, possibly replacing it with one line of description.

[Now remember, […] I’m not a copper
…Lestrade […] introduced himself by name and rank]
That was a bit strange.

[he muttered over his shoulder in a low voice]
You can omit “in a low voice,” because it’s already said with “muttered.”

[Neither of them had known what to expect, knowing nothing for a fact except that Shapuriji Edalji was Indian-born and elderly. The man they saw waiting at the church doors to welcome the worshippers was both. Beyond that, they’d formed no impression of him. Lestrade, though years in the field had taught him above-average powers of observation, saw only a serene, kindly man in a suit and clerical collar.]
I think you might be able to condense these sentences. Maybe “Seeing the seren,e kindly man at the church doors told them nothing new about Shapuriji Edalji, for they had already known he was Indian-born and elderly,” would work better? (I don’t think specifying the default outfit is necessary.)

[rest of that paragraph]
Nice, concise description.

[“See how he’s touching their hands?”]
As usual, I find his deductions more impressive when he explains them.

[Sherlock sounded a little jealous]
Nice bit of humor.

[Sherlock was staring at the little parson, who barely reached his shoulder in height, trying to scan him for all he was worth]
It was unclear to me who was scanning whom.

[Sherlock watched as Edalji did with his hands what he, Sherlock, would do with his eyes {Mid thirties…touch-typist, and frequently}]
Awesome. I like that the elder Edaljis are clever. It leaves a number of intriguing possibilities open, and plus I get scenes like this, which are a personal treat.

While I did notice the switch in viewpoints from Lestrade to Sherlock and back, it didn’t bother me.

*pictures tall man in a brown coat*

[genius who was]
“Who was” could be omitted.

Ooh, I like that sometimes Lestrade notices something Sherlock doesn’t, and yet it makes sense. Kudos.

I’ve consistently liked how Lestrade and Sherlock interact through your work (applies for most character relations, really) and here is no exception.

[But he did not know how many steps]
Oh, reading the scene, I thought the daughter was helping him climb them, because of his age.

[Well, that could mean anything. Or nothing]
This was my least favorite line in the chapter. It doesn’t feel like a natural thought to have, and without a clear character to whom the thought belongs, it sounds like you, as the author, are saying “look at this.”

I like that Sherlock is at least respectful of the faith of others. It’s a new facet to his character.

Woohoo! I guessed what Sherlock was doing with the wallet.

[You’re not the first person who’s devised a gag]
With this line, you neatly show part of the suspicion that the Edalji family is under, as well as Mrs. Edalji’s character.

[flicked him hard before he could then ask if George was a simpleton]
Neatly showing that Lestrade is becoming even more familiar with Sherlock. Nitpick: the “then” feels out of place.

[tPs] also has tildes around it. Very minor.

I like the ending. It leaves me curious about what Sherlock is doing.

In all, an excellent chapter, as usual.
Faulty L0gic chapter 4 . 2/25
Clues! Hooray, I can start guessing. Well written as usual.

[reading a book … dazed good-naturedness]
Nice bit of description. I know exactly how she sounds and acts from those few words.

One criticism I have of the opening scene is that the PoV jumps everywhere. We have thoughts from Lestrade, Hayley, and Melissa, and I think keeping it to just one character might improve it.

[He’d brought her flowers]
I like that he recognized how nasty he was last chapter.

[Language of flowers]

[would you like to come up to the lab]
HA. They’re adorable. Really, the way you write them, I feel for both of them, and they are consistently just nice people, though imperfect.

[Well, we made it here in one piece, anyway … If you had better nerves while driving… squealing like a girl]
Very nice combination of in character exposition and humor.

[his raincoat was slick and shining in the white glare]
White glares aren’t usually what one sees in rainy weather...

[Lestrade saved the yelling for when he really meant business]
I might put a “Sherlock knew that” before this, rather than have it as straight narration, or omit it.

[among the soaking grass]
Among doesn’t agree with the singular “the soaking grass.”

Loved how you described Sherlock at the scene, and his interactions with the constable.

The last portion was well-written, as well, and I particularly liked how you built up the setting with
[these things did not, apparently, happen on a Sunday.]

Looking forward to more!
Faulty L0gic chapter 3 . 2/12
Strong opening conversation: it kept me engaged.

[… ‘I’m a sodding commitment-phobe’]
I chuckled.

I liked the dialogue between Mrs. Hudson and Lestrade.

[frighteningly lifelike dummy]
I think that might have prompted some questions from Lestrade, like “was this part of how you faked your death?”

[I do not need a minder! No, you need a gag, actually]
Spot-on, IC humor.

[Are you useful to him? {reaction}]

Hmm, I wonder what’s eating at John. He isn’t normally mean.
Faulty L0gic chapter 2 . 2/12
I like this chapter.

Nice description of Caroline.

[another child, younger than George, that she didn’t speak to in a most un-Christianlike way.]
The double negative made this confusing for me, and I don’t think you need to add “like” to Christian, which is already an adjective.

[strange, exotic creature]
Loved this description of Sherlock.

[How did you-]
Good question. This is the fourth unexplained deduction, and I think at least hinting at how he knew at some of these things would improve the chapter.

[this all meant one thing: ideal client]

I like the details of the case, giving me enough info to start guessing, but not enough to come anywhere close to the answer.

[Angry Birds, explained deduction]
I was amused.

[…and twirling his mustache]
Even more amused.

I like that there’s a good reason why Mycroft can’t do it. It’s a common plot hole that you’ve avoided.

Cute ending.
Faulty L0gic chapter 1 . 2/9
Alright, nice opening chapter, clearly establishing the timing, concisely giving the present state of Sherlock, Molly, John, and Lestrade, and, of course, introducing the case.

Humorous opening, particularly the capitalization of Not Allowed To Do and the italic list.

Neat segue into how Molly is doing.

It also makes sense that John would be a grumpy patient and Molly would be a good nurse.

I like the “blog post.”

[I don’t work for money
I don’t work for good, either.
Pray your case interests me.]
Nicely in character.

[He’s been accused of pony mutilation]
This strikes me as neither shocking nor grotesque. Maybe bizarre?
Nice quip following.

[He’s innocent!]
I chuckled a bit here. What else is she going to say, “he’s guilty!” ?

[signs their texts…nobody normal]
Here as well as before you’ve conveyed humor well through the text/posting relay.

[Three minutes, [names] one minute]
Again, humorous and IC.

[no use while unable to perform basic tasks, like defend himself.]
Makes sense for Sherlock to think this way.

[Last line]
The humor has been spot-on this chapter.

I’m a little concerned about the case not being dramatic/important enough to sustain 47,000 words (there’s a reason it’s almost always murder), but I trust you’ll keep it interesting.
Cansei chapter 2 . 1/21
All right, I think Sherlock gave Lestrade a hear attack with Hayley and this Dyer guy, hah, poor guy. And of course, Sherlock was again on the business of deducing the private lives of his 'friends' with no tact at all, nor having any boundraies for personal life for that matter. Being Sherlock as always, but I sensed that their relationship also have changed, more in friendly basis, so I took the time gap was a good thing for them either as they were much relaxed with each other, as much as one could be with Sherlock, of course. But Lestrade really seems like indulging him.

Angry Birds! That was fantastic, not only Lestrade playing it, but now I'm in my mind Sherlock playing it as well, and I bet he will, hah. It's like him seeing watching TV series to solve the crimes there and yell at the people. Very meta. Guess what would happen if he sees Candy Crush. Heh.

The case seems really interesting, and I like that you base it on a real life event. I like that kind of stuff too because of real life touch.

"… Is that relevant to the case at hand?" Whoa, one point for Mrs. Edalji. I liked her characterazation very much, and the dialog between them was very good. I'm very curious about this case because of the notions it has.
Cansei de Ser Sexy chapter 1 . 1/19
Argh, I should have seen this coming. Great ending, really. A perfect Sherlock mannerism with him perched on his armchair, doing that hand thing, looking at the client owlishly, then demand them to speak in a way that it shouldn't bore him, the greatest consulting detective ever. And, of course, it was an awesome hook as well.
And, your beginning was as powerful as the ending, but then, your beginnings are always like that, so no surprise there. I liked that you took time from the last part of the story and let them have (and us readers) a breath, but of course the consequences of his shooting was still there. The long lists of what-not-to-do. I know all about that "not lifting arms above shoulder level" from experience, so John has my heartfelt symphatises, but his conditions are really bad, all those "not-to-do's".
I liked the first comment on the Word doc was about being bored, very in character for John. The other comments were nice, but I feel like they're still breeding a storm, and during the story they will explode. It seemed after two weeks of reconciliation time, John forgave Sherlock, and Molly. I wonder about Molly's feelings for Sherlock. They were at odds at each other the last time. At least, Molly was.
I think I understand Sherlock's reluctance to have him on a case. Thinking of the way how their cases usually end up, I'm not sure his involvement on cases is the best idea in the world, as the "not-to-do"s list might be a grave problem, no that John would of course sees it like that, or accepts, he is an adrenalin junkie, as much as Sherlock himself.
The humor with messages was awesome, made me laugh a couple of times.
DjinniFires chapter 16 . 1/17
Nice little coda to this story. The case in general turned out to be ironic: George was innocent of the crime for which he is serving but guilty of another; Sherlock proved him innocent of the pony mutilation but brought to light his guilt for incest (I imagine DNA from the baby will be the proof of guilt). It's quite in character that Sherlock is miffed at not being recognized for being right that George was innocent of the first crime, and that he proved the justice system had made a mistake. Exactly, how deeply he feels about the whole thing, about the perfidy of humanity, isn't clear but is very strongly implied. I'm assuming the thought about Moriarty is Lestrade's, but that's not absolutely clear; it's always good to mention the supreme nemesis, though. I love a moment of melancholy, angsty Holmes when he's done with a case. Lestrade taking as his cue to leave the fact that Sherlock is about to play his violin is a nice touch.
DjinniFires chapter 15 . 1/16
What! You didn't show us how Sherlock managed to not get caught under the bed?! Not even a hint. This chapter is a sharp break from in action and also skips the drama of Sarah going into labor. (I was pretty confused at the first mention of hospital, both as to why she'd have to be there a few days and why Watson wasn't more sensitive about breaking the news - though both points are explained eventually.) Instead, we find out the solution to the mystery in the reactions of people who actually figured it out the night before.

That said... love the tag team scolding of George (who turned out to be guilty of a pretty serious crime after all). I like that in *your* Sherlock, John can stand up to the genius. [It was John who had spoken, and in tones that Sherlock knew not to ignore or brush aside. "I hardly think you're as equipped with all the information-" "He doesn't need information. We need it from him."]

Sarah's explanation of why she broke her isolation by coming to Molly is sweet: ["Molly. When I heard you and your husband at the party, I didn't know your voices and I went out to the landing and hid behind a door to see who it was... and you looked like such nice people. And then I heard Rebecca ask when you were due, and I thought that because you were having a baby too, you might understand..."]

Back to scolding George, I like the amusing understatement here: [The door was heavy and self-closing, designed to be impossible to slam. John nearly succeeded] And I love the tag-teaming: [He picked up where John had left off with a vicious sort of glee.] But couldn't George have said he was out walking with Sarah or something like that? He didn't have to confess he was having sex because she, loving him, would have backed up any story.

And double euuuuu (but well-written by you): ["I love him," Sarah blurted out simply. "And I don't mean... it's not that. It was never about sex, that just... followed. I love him like my father loves God. Like God loves my father." She swiped at her eyes. "Do you believe in God, Molly?"] I don't know, strictly speaking, whether Sarah could be termed "delusional" versus holding a moral view contrary to society.

At least Hannah broke it off with Ryan!
Green Phantom Queen chapter 4 . 1/14
It's been such a long time since I've read one of your stories, but now is a good time to do so, isn't it? Once again, your descriptions are very detailed and the research you put to this is amazing. I always wonder how writers for detective fiction keep outdoing themselves with research, writing the plot, making sure there aren't any plot holes, etc.

The language of flowers was a very nice touch. I also like the idea of cream roses and the color reminds me of a very frosted cake (and cream color is cute on dresses, thus making me think more of cake. XD). I really like that this is a nice step on the right direction between John and Molly. Aww...

Sherlock here feels a bit awkward in regards to the reconciliation (then again, he sort of had something to do with that) and it's nice to see that he's glad for his friend's happiness and how he's slowly patching things up. I'm also glad to get deep into this new mystery. I can't wait to see where it goes.
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