Reviews for A New Proposal
feernando chapter 1 . 1/20/2011
wow please continue the story is really good
mynameisthedoctor chapter 1 . 11/6/2010
Some of Shampoo's righteous annoyance in the beginning seems hypocritical. She seems to win because your shampoo is better than the one in canon while you're Akane is worse. But an alternate character interpretation of her proposal can be taken as "Marry me or I'm leaving you forever. Haha! You Can't say no without hurting one or both of us!" It's not much of a choice when you take something hostage so all that "But YOU are really the one making the decision here. I won't force you into anything" REALLY sounds wrong.I could go on-and-on but not because you made huge mistakes but because of a parade of small ones that would be too obnoxious to make a list of. So all I can say is I'm having a crisis
Junai chapter 1 . 10/17/2010
*applauds*

Great one-shot! )
Ganheim chapter 1 . 6/3/2009
be a insult

[an]

"Ranma no baka!"

[Unnecessary Japanese]

"Ranma no–"

[Beginning of unnecessary Japanese]

The memory of various magical substances

[What ‘various’, the kirahashi mushrooms and love-pill-bracelet (which was stolen back from Happosai) are the only two Shampoo’s used in canon]

she said in perfectly accented Japanese.

[Accent can be a relatively difficult thing to fake (particularly on her scale), although I understand this story’s idea of her pretending to be more linguistically slow than she is, I don’t think she’d be _perfectly accented_]

I will always have that."

[Although if she’s leaving, then she’s leaving those friends behind]

"How do you feel about your engagements?"

[I don’t know if she was around to hear it, but I’m pretty sure that he’s explicitly said more than once that he feels trapped by the whole confounded situation]

matter anyway." Shampoo nodded.

[Be cautious when attaching narrative details from one character to a paragraph with a different one’s dialog, because in this case there’s no action/detail from Ranma to conclusively identify this dialog as Ranma’s, therefore the ‘Shampoo nodded’ acts as an identifier that points to it being hers. That doesn’t fit with the larger scene]

coming from a person he'd previously believed to have none.

[If he believed she had _none_ he wouldn’t be taking her seriously. Would he believe that she’s ‘a few cards short of a deck’ or something along those lines? Sure, but not being _completely_ unsensible]

grandmother means well, but her methods are too aggressive for my tastes.

[That’s amusing to see, because Shampoo always jumped at whatever hoops Cologne held out when Ranma was mentioned. Still something logical to hear, because Shampoo could definitely think more clearly after the fact]

nothing but good intentions and honesty alongside it.

[With a dose of desperation…]

Short and partially unexpected, but cute.
keebler-elmo chapter 1 . 5/8/2009
this story is pretty old and I have no idea if you still receive reviews, but I really enjoyed it. Shampoo provided very solid reasons for the engagement.
rewind gone nuts chapter 1 . 1/30/2009
Like the other reviewers have said, Ranma/Shampoo fanfics are hard to find, and good ones like this are harder still. An interesting idea, nicely handled, and some good points made. Characterizations were a little simple, but for a oneshot they were perfectly fine.
PerfectDreamer chapter 1 . 11/10/2008
I definately loved your fanfic!

Finally another good Ranma/Shampoo fanfiction...there sould be more about this pairing. I think you write really well, I didn't found any erros, you should write more fics like this :)

Anyways Im curoius, how did Ranma did to Akane and Soun and his father to convince them that he would leave...with Shampoo as wife...you shouldn't let us with the question ;)
Tadano Ian chapter 1 . 12/16/2006
Love it! I really wanted Shampoo to end up with Ranma. She's really not that bad. People just don't give her enough credit. Plus, you're writing is very good as well.
Cyberweasel89 chapter 1 . 9/22/2005
Beautiful. I don't see many ShampooxRamna stories on so this one really gave me hope that there are some good stories here. Thanks. I love you're writing style. It's so detailed! I admire detail. Great job! _
Ghost chapter 1 . 3/30/2005
Oh yeah. That rocked. (I mean, I’m fiercely Ranma/Akane, but damn!)

It’s very rare to find a *good* Shampoo story, and I’m glad to have come across this one. Well done! Too many authors only see her as an over-aggressive bimbo.

You’re extremely skilled, both in terms of spelling/grammar and story-telling. This was the best fanfic I’ve read in months. However, there are some things I would like to point out:

First of all, the beginning of the story feels much less thought-through then the rest. Specifically, I found it very far-fetched that Akane would somehow see an insult in Ranma commenting the weather. She’s touchy when it comes to her cooking, yes, but far from THAT touchy. In fact, Akane seems to be having an unusually bad day. A comment on this could certainly help the story.

I have to wonder what kind of sedative would drop Akane instantly, but leave Ranma entirely unharmed. He’s not that much stronger, after all. It would have been far more believable if Shampoo had hit her with some sort of dart or simply knocked her out via pressure points, as she does know how to use those.

Both Ranma and Shampoo were reasonably in character. However, in my opinion Shampoo has never “played dumb” to begin with. A bad ear for language has nothing to do with intelligence, and most of her actions in the series demonstrate a very cunning mind. That being said, this story would have worked better without giving her the ability of flawless Japanese, which somehow makes her seem less honest.

Other then that, and the fact that I just don’t see those two as a couple, I found this story to be highly entertaining! Kudos to you!
dark dragon 00 chapter 1 . 12/30/2004
nice story shame it's a one shot
hgfj chapter 1 . 10/21/2004
you aren't gonna finish this obviously
Guest chapter 1 . 10/20/2004
HURRY THE HELL UP!
Glaciersmash chapter 1 . 7/18/2004
This is Great! With a capital "G"! Not many people try to portray Xian Pu (Shampoo) as a 'real' person, only to make her act on the extremes. This is one of the best fics i've read so far in my entire fanfic reading life, which is, one year.
Zodidj chapter 1 . 5/25/2004
Very nice story, Shampoo handled with what I would concider a proper care. thanks for the story.
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