|Reviews for Kiko|
| nobody impotant chapter 1 . 11/11/2013
Nice introduction. I was a little ify about reading this, till I read sane or insane.
| Ghostwriter9396 chapter 1 . 4/16/2013
Okay, up front, NICE JOB!
Let me guess...Kiko is a mix of Knuckles and Raven's personalities? Nice comb, would never have thought to do that. And I LOVE how she and Rev met.
You also got their personalities down pretty well. I give you mega props for that...no matter what story I read hardly anyone can get any personality of any character down. They usually just mix and match random lines from the show and throw it in to the story, hoping that they can get away with it. You're creative though, that's so good to see.
The only down side to this is that the grammar is gorrible...sorry sweety, but it is. A little tip from someone who doesn't have much room to talk, proof read your stories before uploading them...I had trouble understanding what my screen reader was reading to me...sorry. It took like two or three times before I finally got the general gist of what was happening...though that could mosty be because a robotic voice can't really pronounce words correctly half the time lol
Also, I would've like to see more detail with the fight scene...where did the chain come from?
Other than those two things...this story ROCKED! Have you written the sequel yet? Which story is it? I'd like to read that one when I have more free time...not sure when that'll be...but I did promise that I'd read your stories and comment on them ;D Keep writing girl!
| Mitch 566 chapter 1 . 2/15/2013
Hey, just repaying the favour you did for me by reviewing my story :)
So first off, i like the base you have set for this story. It's got a solid plot, and im curious about Kiko so im looking forward to reading your sequel :)
Secondly, just a bit of constructive critisism. When writing your dialogue its best to seperate the dialogue of the different characters into seperate paragraphs.
"Ya never get me back in prison without a fight." Massive said.
"No problem." Kiko said. Her eyes not anything like the loonatics eyes, became glowing light blue like cats eyes.
:) It makes it alot easier to read. Dont worry i did the same thing when i first started, its easily corrected.
Great job Kiko :)
P.S. Since ive checked out your stories i was wondering if you could check out my other story "New Kid On The Block". You dont have to but i would really appreciate it :) Thanks
| DarknessEverdeen chapter 1 . 2/3/2013
well this is interesting. i wonder what rev wanted to tell her? can't wait for the next chapter:)
| DixieChicrules123 chapter 1 . 2/1/2013
please update this story. It is eally good.
It is great that you joined fanfiction. We need more people writing stories for Loonatics Unleashed. Keep up the good job