|Reviews for The Journey of Draven|
| TearHex1 chapter 2 . 11/7/2013
*I wrote this once already, but since I am writting it on my phone I'll shorten it - cause it got deleted … *
I know this is your first fanfiction, but it also seems like ot may be your first written peice; or you may be inexperienced in it. It is in no terms bad.
I would suggest getting a writting program with spellcheck to help with overshadowed errors; googlechrome has such a function
I enjoy the storyline and what I could gather from the plot and I would love to see it executed in a flowing manner. It would intrest me greatly.
Some parts of the dialog seem almost impersonal; like the characters are just conveying what information you want them too; which is fine but makes it choppy and almost mechanical to readers. I would suggest reading sentences aloud or useing them with friends in mock conversation.
Your descriptions are nice, giving a clean image - though they seem chunky, almost like it is only written as a neccecity to show the reader what the enviroment is. Perhaps you could break up the description over time, as the events carry so they seem... sleeker.
I couldnt read past this point without posting, but I shall read up on the story in the morning to hopefully see if you continue this little adventure. Not many things show the tale from Dravens life in the league.
I could point out other things being the silly writer I am; but that nitpicking.
I do hope you continue and grow as an author from your experience in writting such work.
Have a great day and don't forget to smile :)
| Guest chapter 1 . 2/17/2013
Your grammar is atrocious.
| Shenmacia chapter 1 . 2/13/2013
This doesn't even go by the lore of draven...
| TWSpitfire chapter 1 . 2/8/2013
You really need somebody to correct the mistakes in your story, but otherwise you have good ideas.
| TheEpicJ chapter 3 . 2/6/2013
Keep em going, I like the story :)
| FreakinAssasin chapter 2 . 2/3/2013
The horrible english and grammar threw me off the flow of reading. And I don't really like the concept and plot of it.. Draven can able to 1vs5 Noxus' most strongest champions? You practically made him god mode..