|Reviews for Judgement Blow|
| starlight.moon.princess chapter 1 . 2/23/2014
Warning: I'm utterly and completely fandom blind here, I'm afraid.
I really liked the way you started this piece in media res. It gives it a sense of urgency and necessity, and that helps to pull in the reader into the fic immediately.
Your imagery is wonderful, especially when you describe the [black and white lightning...] Even though I know nothing about the fandom canon, I found it easy to imagine two figures streaming through the sky at these words.
I really liked the bit about the speaker willing himself to "flame up" - it's jarring for the reader to imagine someone /wanting/ to be engulfed by flames, and that helps to add to the urgent quality of the fic and pull the reader further into it.
[...City collapse, and you go "Oh no-!"] I think this line would be more powerful if you ended it at [...City collapse.] and let the reader imagine the shock of the moment. The line ["Oh no-!"] seems not strong enough a reaction to the collapsing of the towers to me.
[Can evil be reciprocated with evil guiltlessly?] I love the moral dilemma you raise with this question - it's not just the speaker who is being forced to reflect on the question, but the reader as well. The issue you bring up there is really nicely handled - for all that the 'guy' has brought down someone obviously evil, there's still the fact that he killed (I think) him, and that raises a whole host of questions that needs to be answered. I really liked the fact that you didn't brush over it, and allowed the speaker time to reflect over his decision.
I think you've handled the dialogue between them really well. You've brought across the emotions beautifully, and the anguish the speaker is feeling when he says that everything would be fine is both realistic and palpable according to me.
I think the ending was really strong, especially with the man's last words a promise that he would never forget the speaker - his killer. [the King who executed your own parent and friend.] This is an extremely powerful line, and with it I think you've done justice to all the heavy emotions that where there in the previous part where he actually kills his friend.
My only real criticism is that it sometimes gets hard to tell who is who in this - at one point, you refer to the friend as the guy [That silvery skinny guy...]. Later while he's lying battered, however, there's a bit [Someone touches your arm - is it that guy?] where you seem to refer to another guy. I found it a confusing to try and differentiate the characters from each other, though that might also be just my fandom blindness talking. If that's the case, please feel free to ignore me :)
Anyway, I think this was a lovely piece, and I think you've handled all the complex issues in here really well.
| Guest chapter 1 . 11/4/2013
so depressing, and i love it
| RikuIsKing chapter 1 . 5/5/2013
Please Note: I am completely fandom blind here. Never having even heard of this Manga/Anime. But I hope you'll be pleased with the review none the less :)
-It's so awesome that you've chosen to tell this in the second person- a device I rarely see, in fanfiction, but also even more rarely done well.
-You have a very well developed writing style to a high degree of complexity.
-You are extremely good at vivid imagery, It helped me see the characters in my head, as I've never even heard of this like I stated before.
-Beautifully well done! It just goes to show QUALITY OVER QUNANITY! Any day is always best .
| Edhla chapter 1 . 5/3/2013
It's interesting that you've chosen to tell this in the second person- a device I rarely see, especially in fanfic. It works very well for you here, though, and you have a sophisticated writing style and some extremely vivid imagery. Well done x
| Ziarea chapter 1 . 2/12/2013
Oh. My. Goodness.
This is so unbelievably heart-wrenching...but still so good! I love it
Please write more! Looking forward to read more stories from you :)
| Frog-kun chapter 1 . 2/3/2013
When you told me this story was inspired by something I wrote I just had to check it out. And wow, just colour me impressed. Truth be told, I read this story yesterday but I just had to keep turning it over in my mind before I could muster up a review for this. I also decided to read the light novel to get some further insight into this, since I'm only familiar with the anime of Accel World.
I love the insight to the characters you showed here. There's an emotional connection here that I felt was missing from the anime. And the whole story just came across as really intense and passionate. Whenever you used short sentences, it came across as really terse - I could really feel the urgency in the situation. And then in the end, as the sentences got longer and more emotional, it just... ugh. Can't stop the feels.
No lies, am putting this on my faves.